Gifted Children

Madmel

I love Fen1's suggestion!

Both DDs were reading and able to do fairly simple Maths by the time they turned 4 so I understand where you are coming from. Equally, especially with DD1 who is a more reserved child, I wanted to keep her with her peers socially. Nursery was brilliant with her doing lots of literacy activities (Jolly Phonics if I remember correctly). From the age of 3 she wanted to learn the cello (both her dad & I play semi-professionally so she had spent quite a bit of time hearing orchestras) and I managed to track one down and found someone to teach her. She is still playing, including rehearsing with me later. In one organisation where I teach, she helps to run a group for pre-schoolers who are starting out on the violin. 2 year olds get foam instruments, then 4 year olds have proper instruments but obviously the smallest sized violins. Unlike the piano, which can be hard for little hands to play correctly, string instruments come in a range of sizes so you can get an appropriate size for the child. Is there any provision near you that you could access?

The other things that we did were swimming and dance lessons, swimming because it is a vital life skill and dance because she wanted to do ballet. We ditched swimming lessons due to other commitments, but she is good enough to represent her school and swam a mile at school. Dance is still going strong with 3 lessons per week. She's 16 and achieving excellent results at school, so I know it hasn't done any harm, and she has a nice line money-making either by busking or playing for weddings :-)

lulalola

Agree that the best thing you can do is continue to stimulate him at home. My parents realised at about your son's age that I was way ahead of the other kids, and helped me to develop my skills through reading, writing, art, music etc. I was also picked up at primary school as G&T and given special work to do which, although I did enjoy it, singled me out and got me bullied. I also developed a massive anxiety to always get things right and be the best, and made myself ill with stress throughout my GCSEs, A Levels and university. It's only now, at nearly 30, still suffering from anxiety, that I am allowing myself to realise that there is more to life than being the best and having a successful career. So please be careful if you decide to push him. Although stimulation is good, he won't lose his intelligence by being allowed to be a kid.

Potternerd

Agree with other posters, let him be a kid and let him develop his social skills.

Serendipitious

I'm a great believer in stretching potential 'widthways' at home, whilst nursery/pre-school get on with their own curriculum and helping the child develop his social skills.

Cooking is brilliant, weighing, measuring, counting, mixing and combining ingredients, with lots to say and do and notice at every stage of the process.

Music is excellent, and providing a wide range of various types of background music for him to listen to as he plays with his toys at home will enrich his experience. Musical instruments too are fun and satisfyingly noisy!

Nature itself is also an infinite topic of interest with hundreds and thousands of creatures to learn about as well as life cycles and habitats. We also have the ever changing seasons, walks in the countryside focusing on leaf and seed and fruit collecting (especially this time of year with conkers and seed pods etc.) Gardening is good, growing things. The sky at night as the days grow shorter, lots to talk about there too.

Arts and crafts, shopping and handling money, visiting the libraries locally, pointing out interesting old buildings as you walk round town, absolutely everything is an enrichment opportunity at this age.

Most importantly, have fun with it all !

silly_moo

Fen1 wrote: »

A game suggestion: word of the day.
You could advance it further by having to make the sentences rhyme.

Excellent suggestions, thank you! We have a dictionary for children and he loves "reading" it but he seems to know most of the words now.

Madmel - neither I nor my husband have any musical talent unfortunately although my aunt who plays professionally in an orchestra said he's got excellent hearing and can sing very well (nursery rhymes) so this may be something we could look into. We only do swimming at the moment as we didn't want to overload him with extracurricular activities.

lulalola - thanks for the warning. At the moment he doesn't even realise he's clever but we'll need to make sure he knows he doesn't need to always be the best.

LameWolf

Firstly, a disclaimer - I know nothing about children, gifted or otherwise, as I did not opt for motherhood.

Now, having said that, I wonder if this link to Mensa's "gifted and talented" page would offer any help?
http://www.mensa.org.uk/gifted-talented

Lunar_Eclipse

I have two gifted children. They both started reading at 3, via their nursery, so if he's not reading already, books are something to explore further, after he knows all his letters obviously. I didn't know they were considered gifted until identified at school, though they were obviously more advanced in their speech and general competency at playing games etc than other kids.

I would follow your son's lead, in terms of his interests. One boy in our NCT group for example was always good with Lego and building things. He was years ahead of the rest at this, though he has never been considered academically 'gifted.'

At your son's age I think variety, play and (social) experiences are key. In terms of intellectual stimulation, puzzles, making/building things, developing an interest in the natural world (different leaves, bugs in the garden etc) are all age appropriate.

But do be guided by his strengths. One of my girls was more physical than the other: she was great on monkey bars and climbing frames at 3. She also learnt to ride without stabilisers at this age. She is the one with the higher IQ, but less interested in reading & writing, so was 'slower' than her elder sibling on this for instance. It made no difference to us whether she read at 3, 4 or 5.

Museums are great for interested kids. Both mine loved the Science & Natural History Museums in London for example (which I fine really boring, so DH, also super bright, took them without me sometimes.)

Absolutely no need to worry about him not fulfilling his potential yet though. A bright mind can apply itself whenever it chooses to. And when he's at school, be grateful that he will learn quickly and not be tearing his hair out and crying for hours about learning times tables or spellings for a weekly test that many children REALLY struggle with. As a parent, this is such a blessing.

EDIT: forgot to say the one thing in hindsight I might have considered if I'd known how bright my kids were and the interest was there, is learning an instrument. He might be unbelievably talented in this area and it's such a great life skill to have. Piano is an obvious one, but of course there are many instruments to choose from. Personally, I'd find a great teacher who made the learning fun and not focus on grades, but that's personal.

summerspring

Unfortunately in a state school (or any mixed ability environment) the stronger or more intelligent ones are held back by the slower ones.

You need to get him into a school where the academic level is higher. However it might be quite expensive, so not sure if that would be an option for you?

VfM4meplse

silly_moo wrote: »

At the moment he doesn't even realise he's clever but we'll need to make sure he knows he doesn't need to always be the best.

Your right, it's not a race but about opening up opportunities to match your son's abilities.

My worry in your position is that if he isn't sufficiently stimulated in some way at this stage, he'll look to his peers for it, won't find it and become frustrated that they aren't at his level, and then start to regard the rest of his world as being stupid (which comparatively, it might well be!). This could have a very detrimental impact on his social skills.

Savvy_Sue

FBaby wrote: »

It's not because he is showing abilities now that you have to push him to the max. At 3, what is most important is to developed his social skills so that he can mix with friends and feel happy in his environment.

<snip>

Has she been challenged to her absolute full potential? Probably not, but despite being top of the class and teased for it in a friendly way, she is very popular and has a fantastic social life. She is well adjusted and happy to be a typical 15yo and to me, that's as important as her intellect being used.

<snip>

Clever kids can easily be teased and picked on, especially if they are not great at mixing socially, so be careful with how you want to set him up to be different at such an early age.

These things: DS1 was the only one of mine ever to be even mildly bullied, and I think that was as much because of his mild Asperger Syndrome as because he was bright. In fact his talents didn't even become apparent until quite late in primary school: as I said to him once: "I knew you were clever, I just didn't realise you were THAT clever!"

Whereas with DS2 EVERYONE knew he was clever: teachers, fellow pupils, dinner ladies, Cub leaders ... He just kind of shone, but everyone was OK about it. "Oh, that's just him, he can't help being that clever" was the attitude from his football playing friends ...

And DS3 was probably cleverer than either of those, but too lazy to show it off ... although he's now the one doing a PhD!

I was just glad that they all enjoyed school, made friends, and didn't get bored out of their minds because staff were ready to stretch them, perhaps not to their FULL potential, but maybe that wouldn't have been helpful in any case?

silly_moo wrote: »

The numeracy and literacy exercises at nursery are on far too low levels to be of any benefit to him.

Actually, I wouldn't be so quick to dismiss them. It was pointed out to me that sometimes very bright children think they know things without having fully grasped them, so it doesn't necessarily hurt to go over them, perhaps in different ways at different times. Plus, it's essential that he learns to get along with other children, and understands that just because they don't grasp some things as quickly as he does it doesn't mean he's better than they are in any way. And while I don't expect bright children to spend a lot of time doing this, if they can show another child what to do it can be of immense benefit to both sides.

I was absolutely ready to throttle DS3 when a maths teacher said to me at a parents' evening "I just wish we could get through ONE lesson without me having to ask him to stop wandering around the classroom, go back to his place and sit down." DS3's response later was that he didn't need to listen to the teacher as he could just work it out for himself. I said that was terribly unfair on those who DID need to listen and who COULDN'T just work it out for themselves. We didn't have any further complaints, so I think he got the message.

But maybe for bright children, developing strategies to deal with boredom is one of the key skills they need? I spent many lessons happily reading ahead, one ear on what the teacher was saying, most of my mind far away ...