Gifted Children

Petra_70

sugarbaby125 wrote: »

You sound a lot like my now 23 year old daughter. She was identified as Gifted and Talented at 7 years old in Primary School. She has mostly A and A* GCSE's, 4 A Levels and various other qualifications. 2 years into University where she was doing a Psychology Degree, she decided to leave. She will never return to finish her Degree and I simply did not care. All of my family and friends were appalled that she has ended up as a part time George Colleague with a Local Asda. But they forget that just because studying in an academic environment came easily to her, it did not follow that she enjoyed studying. When she finally realised that for herself, she made the best decision for herself and I fully supported her and continue to be so proud of her. She is really shy, so working in Retail is making her more outgoing and confident although it is a slower process with her than most young adults. She lives in a house share and she has saved all her life, and continues to have substantial savings in an ISA. She is generous, loyal, loving, kind and a beautiful daughter inside and outside. She is far more intelligent than me, but I have 30 more years life experience and 100% more common sense, so there are still times when I look smarter :j

I don't mean to be rude and I am pleased your daughter is happy, but spending all that time doing GCSEs and A levels, and getting excellent results, and then doing 2 years of a degree, and then quitting uni, is just utter madness. No way would I ever do that, or accept a child of mine doing it. I know they are grown at 20, but I would do my level best to make sure they did NOT quit uni. I'm afraid I wouldn't hesitate to be very harsh, if it prevented them making the biggest mistake of their life.

I think any responsible parent should encourage their young adult child to stay for that final year. I can't imagine any employer wanting to touch any person who dropped out of uni; not for a serious position anyway. How can you trust a person to be reliable and trustworthy and loyal if they can't see something through, that is as important as the final year of a university degree. She may be a lovely, sweet, generous, loyal, loving, kind and a beautiful daughter inside and outside, to you, but to everyone else, she is going to come across as horribly irresponsible, and fickle, and immature..

Louloulou40 wrote: »

I'm sorry but your child being a bit faster at 3 does not mean he is gifted, by reading the comments he has been in nursery a long time already and they will have been teaching him from a curriculum already unlike the children who have been at home. Most of these kids even out if nursery thought he was exceptional they would have told you this.
My eldest son was reading at 3 my youngest was 8 before it clicked both now away studying both have strengths and weaknesses both intelligent people.
Kids are just kids at 3 with ebbs and flows some learn faster some slower very few genuine geniuses but plenty of pushy parents

I agree. I am amazed at the amount of people (on here, and to some extent in real life,) who have 'talented and gifted' children. It's like, there are an awful lot of people who have children with 'ADHD' (and similar) these days. Why is that? When I was at school, there was none of this. Most people were just regular kids, with a small percentage (maybe 5%) that were quite academic and went to uni. Where have all these other things come from?

calleyw wrote: »

There was no choice between taking GCSE's and CSE's.

I am amazed that you wanted to take GCSE's 8 years before schools introduced them!!!!

I am 43 years old and was the first year to take GCSE's and left school in 1988.

Yours

Calley

I think the poster in question must mean O levels, not GCSE's

Lunar_Eclipse

Petra_70 wrote: »

No way would I ever do that, or accept a child of mine doing it.

I can't imagine any employer wanting to touch any person who dropped out of uni; not for a serious position anyway.

It's a shame you couldn't accept your child dropping out of uni, because it would be entirely their choice and not a reflection on you, but I also think you have no idea how you'd feel until faced with that situation. Happiness comes way ahead for me personally.

My husband dropped out of university. I know his parents were disappointed because he always excelled academically. He was a straight A student but school was always boring and incredibly tedious. He is highly gifted, so it's far more extreme than what is mainly being discussed on this thread, my daughter is the same (& the difference is huge caus I have another gifted straight A* daughter and the difference is vast!) Very high IQs (145/150) are rare, but are much further from "average" than those considered intellectually disabled (for example those with Downs Syndrome are often around 70.)

One of my daughters is clear she isn't going to uni (that's fine) and is riding out her time to get GCSEs & A levels, but it's frustrating and I'll be watching for depression, she just finds it all such a waste of time. Thankfully, she's not in self destruct mode so does ensure she gets 100% in vocab tests say, whereas some would completely switch off.

Anyway, back to DH. He's a Vice President of a household name company, so your comment about dropping out isn't true from my experience (my sister did too and she's a partner at one of the top 4 Accountancy practices.) I've got a First Class degree and am a SAHM!

It's a shame for many, but the brightest often drop out because school/uni isn't geared up to them and it's so boring.

And the reason we have "so many" going to uni etc now is due to government strategy. Labour wanted to have 50% of school leavers going to uni, and obviously to get in you need good GCSE & A levels, so focus was passed down: identify early, track and push!

Gifted on this thread refers to the top 5% of children, so it's loads of children nationally.

Petra_70

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

It's a shame you couldn't accept your child dropping out of uni, because it would be entirely their choice and not a reflection on you, but I also think you have no idea how you'd feel until faced with that situation. Happiness comes way ahead for me personally.

My husband dropped out of university. I know his parents were disappointed because he always excelled academically. He was a straight A student but school was always boring and incredibly tedious. He is highly gifted, so it's far more extreme than what is mainly being discussed on this thread, my daughter is the same (& the difference is huge cause I have another gifted straight A* daughter and the difference is vast!) Very high IQs (145/150) are rare, but are much further from "average" than those considered intellectually disabled (for example those with Downs Syndrome are often around 70.)

One of my daughters is clear she isn't going to uni (that's fine) and is riding out her time to get GCSEs & A levels, but it's frustrating and I'll be watching for depression, she just finds it all such a waste of time. Thankfully, she's not in self destruct mode so does ensure she gets 100% in vocab tests say, whereas some would completely switch off.

Anyway, back to DH. He's a Vice President of a household name company, so your comment about dropping out isn't true from my experience (my sister did too and she's a partner at one of the top 4 Accountancy practices.) I've got a First Class degree and am a SAHM!

It's a shame for many, but the brightest often drop out because school/uni isn't geared up to them and it's so boring.

And the reason we have "so many" going to uni etc now is due to government strategy. Labour wanted to have 50% of school leavers going to uni, and obviously to get in you need good GCSE & A levels, so focus was passed down: identify early, track and push!

Gifted on this thread refers to the top 5% of children, so it's loads of children nationally.

If you quote me correctly, I said it's utter madness to drop out of university after TWO YEARS. Who does that??? I just simply wouldn't support my kids doing that at all. Surely if you have been there 2 years, it can't have been boring or 'unfulfilling.' It seems very irresponsible and reckless to drop out after 2 years.

And yes I do find it a bit strange that so many people have 'gifted and talented' children. Like I find it strange that so many children have ADHD and autism. So many children are labelled these days, when many of them are just ordinary kids with different personalities, different academic levels, and different skillsets. I believe very very few children are 'gifted.' Parents like to believe they are, but they're not.

uncreative

I just want my kids to be happy. Our 3 kids are also top of the class as they have a bright mum and dad (even if I do say so myself). I have done well in life and am not happy.

Life is hard, its a survival game at its most basic but our culture and society mean we have relative physical safety and can pursue a life of exchanging time for money and using that money to buy things we need. My home life isnt great, my job is mega stressful and I put up with a lot of "s.h.one.t" being in a position of senior management. Do I want my kids having days at work like I do? no way.

There is a definite bargain to be struck in terms of earning money/being successful - the more you get the harder it is. Trust me, my days on the shop floor were hard as we didnt have much money but it was an honest physical days work. You could go home at night and switch off and deal with the personal stuff. Now that I have progressed and earned more money, the money side is better but its a 24hr constant source of pressure.

My wish is not to push my kids to go to uni, get more, accumulate, earn more, I want my kids to be well educated and rounded, and do a job that fulfils them and makes them content. I would love them to leave school at 16, start working for a charity helping others and come home each night full of happiness and enthusiasm.

There is far to much pressure on kids to "hyperachieve", be rich, be famous, look perfect, drive fancy cars.

I am going to teach my kids to follow their heart, and support them 100% while they do it.

Savvy_Sue

I haven't had to face it, but I hope that having had a really good discussion about WHY they were dropping out, I'd be able to leave it to my adult child to make the right decision for them.

It's not my life, and I won't have to live with the consequences of that decision.

I'd also encourage them to suspend for a year rather than quitting straight away.

What I have had to face is one of my sons reducing the days he worked from five, to four, to three, and then quitting work altogether to travel and make a living as an independent computer games designer. He is, effectively, jobless and homeless. I am alternately terrified for him and fiercely proud.

When he started down this route, he had enough savings for six months. When the savings run out, his plan is to get another job. Just like that. He foresees no problem. That was ... 18 months ago? or is it 2.5 years? Time flies when your son is having fun ...

Lunar_Eclipse

Petra_70 wrote: »

If you quote me correctly, I said it's utter madness to drop out of university after TWO YEARS. Who does that??? I just simply wouldn't support my kids doing that at all. Surely if you have been there 2 years, it can't have been boring or 'unfulfilling.' It seems very irresponsible and reckless to drop out after 2 years.

And yes I do find it a bit strange that so many people have 'gifted and talented' children. Like I find it strange that so many children have ADHD and autism. So many children are labelled these days, when many of them are just ordinary kids with different personalities, different academic levels, and different skillsets. I believe very very few children are 'gifted.' Parents like to believe they are, but they're not.

My husband dropped out after 3 years. So there are people who do that. It was frustrating to watch, silly perhaps but also quite brave to do. They eventually realise it's so awful they need to get out, I suppose in the same way some people feel about marriage.

POPPYOSCAR

Why is it so bad to drop out of university?


Perhaps they never wanted to go in the first place but felt pressurised into it or they thought it would be different?


I know of two people who dropped out, much to my surprise as they were very clever, had great results, but hated uni.


Both have gone on to have great careers that they are very happy in.

Petra_70

Lunar_Eclipse wrote: »

My husband dropped out after 3 years. So there are people who do that. It was frustrating to watch, silly perhaps but also quite brave to do. They eventually realise it's so awful they need to get out, I suppose in the same way some people feel about marriage.

:huh:

That doesn't even make sense. You are only at university for 3 years! That's the length of time it takes to complete a degree.

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

Why is it so bad to drop out of university?

Perhaps they never wanted to go in the first place but felt pressurised into it or they thought it would be different?

I know of two people who dropped out, much to my surprise as they were very clever, had great results, but hated uni.

Both have gone on to have great careers that they are very happy in.

I stand by what I say. Dropping out after TWO YEARS is utter madness. You are two thirds of the way through your degree. As an employer, I would not touch someone who had dropped out of university two thirds of the way through their degree. It shows immaturity and irresponsibility and a lack of seeing things through. I can't believe people keep defending it. No wonder so many young people lack direction and motivation if their parents are happy to let them make stupid decisions.

And I don't believe that so many posters know so many people who dropped out of uni (when they were more than halfway through their degree,) and then went on to have a wonderful successful career; much more successful than they would have had if they had completed their degree!

And why aren't people acknowledging the fact that uni fees have to be paid back IMMEDIATELY if the student drops out without finishing their degree? That's potentially 10s of 1000s that they will be having to pay IMMEDIATELY; not when they start earning over £21K. Why on earth would you support them having serious financial problems so early on in their life?

I am not going to keep repeating myself. I have given my opinions and views and the reasons why I think them several times now, and don't intend to do it again. Nothing anyone says is going to make me feel differently. I am done on this thread.

Towser

Levels of Giftedness

Mildly Gifted - IQ 115 – 129

Moderately Gifted – IQ 130 – 144

Highly Gifted – IQ 145 – 159

Exceptionally Gifted – IQ 160 – 179

Profoundly Gifted – IQ 180+

ViolaLass

Petra_70, uni fees do not have to be paid back immediately if you drop out (at least, they didn't just a few years ago). My husband dropped out, had to work a crappy job for a few months to get a reference then got a job as a BT engineer. They weren't interested in his degree, which had no relevance to what they wanted him to do.

Yes, dropping out isn't ideal in some senses but why get so worked up about it? So you wouldn't want to employ them - others will (and have).

Also, we didn't know how to diagnose autism and ADHD some decades back, in the same way that we haven't always known how to diagnose diabetes and schizophrenia. Doesn't mean they are modern inventions (and also doesn't mean that they might not be overdiagnosed).