Gifted Children

sugarbaby125

ViolaLass wrote: »

I'm a bit bemused by the reaction to my post. What I meant was, were there so many children labelled 'gifted' at that school that set 1 was full of them and thus some had to be in set 2 (because surely labelling someone as generically gifted and putting them in set 2 for everything doesn't add up).

I wasn't calling anyone names or suggesting anyone wasn't gifted, although you could argue that I was raising an eyebrow at the school and wondering what the point of those labels was (or, lulu, was the label in primary and not at secondary? That might make sense.)

They were not labelled 'Gifted'. The OP said she was told she was clever and bright in Primary School. In Secondary School she was put into the 2nd Sets.

That is almost identical to me. I was bored all the way through Secondary School. I was not allowed to move up to the top sets even though I would complete the set work, then the homework in any lesson and still have time to read a book to try and prevent me being completely bored. I was not allowed to do GCSE's I was made to do CSE's which were already not being valued by potential employers. I got up to all sorts of mischief in School because I was so bored. As an adult, I know I have to multi task in order not to be bored. For example it is rare that I can watch TV without reading and being on my laptop, all at the same time. I read every day of my life, write poetry and short stories and love learning about anything and everything. I simply can not quench my thirst for learning even at 53 years old

TBagpuss

OP, It hink that the issue over whether you child is or isn't 'gifted' is a bit of a red herring.

I would suggest that you continue as you aredoing - play with him at home in ways that give him stimulation and allow him to learn at his own pace - read to him so he can learn to read for himself.

Don't be too worried about him geting bbored some of the time - boredom can be quite creative (if you find he is bored all of the time at nursery / school that is a different issue)

If he finds many things easy, look for things which are more challenging for him. For instance, my sister was identified as being 'gifted' in primary school (I don't think they were testing when my elder sister and I were at school - the Ed Psych had a conversation with my mother which started "surely you must have noticed she was different from your other children?" My Mother "No, she's actually very similar to my other children" Which she was.) - one of the recommendations was that she learn to play a musical instrument - part of the reasoning was that although she was very bright academically, she was not so good physically, and playing an instrucment would need physical coordination and multitasking as well as the academic skill of learning to read music, so she would be challenged and would have to work at it rather than having eveything come easily. Learning to persevere, and to cope with challenges is really important and it is very difficult if you don't start to hit those barriers until you are older.

One thing you can do it look at toys and games which are designed for older children, think about starting to involve your son in practical activities such as learning to cook, or to garden (as he gets older, he might also enjoy the academic side of those activites - I knew a child who enjoyed gardening (and found it quite challenging, as while he was highly intelligent he was very uncoordinated and have significant delay in terms of his physical devlopment and fine motor skills. He liked to read around the subject and delighted in learning the Latin names for all of the plants, and also the scientific basis for various activities (why pruning works, how and why you test soil Ph etc)
In his case he was also ancouraged to join groups such as Badgers, then cubs and scouts, and a couple of sports clubs, as his social skills were poor and so learning to get along with others and to behave in social situations was important for him.

calleyw

sugarbaby125 wrote: »

I was not allowed to do GCSE's I was made to do CSE's which were already not being valued by potential employers.I simply can not quench my thirst for learning even at 53 years old

There was no choice between taking GCSE's and CSE's.

I am amazed that you wanted to take GCSE's 8 years before schools introduced them!!!!

I am 43 years old and was the first year to take GCSE's and left school in 1988.

Yours

Calley

MallyGirl

at our school there was a choice between O levels and CSEs so maybe that is what they meant

fatpiggy

silly_moo wrote: »

Excellent suggestions, thank you! We have a dictionary for children and he loves "reading" it but he seems to know most of the words now.

Madmel - neither I nor my husband have any musical talent unfortunately although my aunt who plays professionally in an orchestra said he's got excellent hearing and can sing very well (nursery rhymes) so this may be something we could look into. We only do swimming at the moment as we didn't want to overload him with extracurricular activities.

lulalola - thanks for the warning. At the moment he doesn't even realise he's clever but we'll need to make sure he knows he doesn't need to always be the best.

The wonderful thing about singing is that you can take your instrument with you without any difficulty and there is no "mine is more expensive than yours". Boys often struggle with coordination and music really helps with this, plus they are like dogs - selectively deaf!! - and again music is great for learning HOW to listen, and listening to what they are being told. I wish the Government would realise what wonderful training doing music is. As he gets older he will be able to mix with people of all ages if he has music and he will learn group and self -discipline. As others have said though, there is more to learning than book-learning. I work in a University and you get some right odd-balls who are institutionalized, effectively. Some are undoubtedly Aspergers cases, but some have just never learned anything except academic things and can't relate to "normal" people at all. Let the little boy learn empathy amongst other things at Nursery.

calleyw

MallyGirl wrote: »

at our school there was a choice between O levels and CSEs so maybe that is what they meant

That might be the answer.

But even I know the difference between CSE's and O Levels and GCSE's and I never got the choice of which to take.

Even I known that the children who got to take O levels were more brainy than the ones who took CSE's.

But seeing as GCSE's were never taught in schools until 1986 a good 8 years after they left school not sure how they could get them mixed up as they were never option open to them. And they seem to be suggesting that they were clever at school.

Yours

Calley

sugarbaby125

calleyw wrote: »

There was no choice between taking GCSE's and CSE's.

I am amazed that you wanted to take GCSE's 8 years before schools introduced them!!!!

I am 43 years old and was the first year to take GCSE's and left school in 1988.

Yours

Calley

My mistake I meant O Levels, not GCSE's. I am so used to thinking in terms of GCSE's that I did not even notice my mistake:) It was not my own assessment that I was more intelligent and academically gifted than those pupils in the top sets, it was the teachers who taught the pupils in the top and 2nd sets. I consistently got straight A's in all subjects without really trying. I achieved higher test marks than my peers who were in the top sets. I had a brilliant English teacher who even offered to pay for my English O Level exam out of his own money, because he explained to the Head Teacher that I was head and shoulders above the A Level pupils who he also taught. Unfortunately for me the Head Teacher said No. I had a meeting with my Head of Year to try to convince him why I should be allowed to take O Levels as opposed to CSE's. He said No, I then had a meeting with my Head Master to try to convince him to allow me to take O Levels and he also said No. My parents were proud of my academic achievements but they were Caribbean migrants from Montserrat and were always too intimidated when faced with Authority, so that is why I tried to fight for my own right to take O Levels.

Racism was rife in Schools in my time and as I was a Black girl, I was constantly being told to accept that I was not going to be allowed to move into the top sets despite my obvious all round academic ability, but even I knew that to prevent me taking O Levels would have a long term detrimental effect on the rest of my employment opportunities. There was also rampant sexism, so that was also another hurdle for me to overcome.

I am not suggesting I was clever at School, I am stating that I was and still am intelligent, well read and a lifelong learner. There may have been obstacles placed in my path at School, but since then, I do not have to point out my intelligence and knowledge, adults who I come into contact throughout my life through work and social events all remark on it.

TBagpuss

I'm really sorry you went through that. I hd a similar situation albeit to a much lesser degree - when I was taking my GCSEs the received wisdom was that elitism was bad, and that this means you must have mixed abilty groups, and no-one must be made to feel inferior or allowed to stand out. (unless of course what you happened to be good at was sport, in which cas it was absolutely fine to be better than others and to be allowed to fulfil your potential)
Our maths teacher wanted a group of us to take our Maths GCSE a year early, and to then take a Maths AS, or another 1 years GCSE (several were available for 6th formers who wanted to do an extra GCSE alongside their A-Levels) in the 5th form. He was willing to take on the extra treaching involved. He was not allowed to enter us early. He ended up teaching us the work for the AS level (partly so we would not get bored) but was not allowed to enter us for the exam.

I sometimes wonder how it would have changed things had he been allowed to do what he proposed. I missed one of my offers for university by one point - if I had had an AS level as well as my 4 A-Levels I would have got in. I don;t regret the course or University I atended, and I'm not sure whether I would have accepted the other offer if I could have done, but I would have liked to have the choice.

A friend of mine was told she wasn't good enough to be entered for the higher papers in her Science GCSEs and her parents had to fight like crazy to change the school's mind - she ended up getting a A. The school backed down, but only becuase her parents were prepared to make a big row if that was what it took.

Armchair23

I really couldn't give the proverbial about whether I, my children or anyone I know is 'gifted'. The world is full of people who make a wonderful contribution in my life without ever coming first in any league table or competition.

I care deeply about whether we are happy, loved, nourished and content people free from thoughts that lead us to self harm, addictions, depression, eating disorders and anxieties that dominate our world.

I don't know anybody who would say hey I'll take self harm as a fair swop for a better grade in Maths. Or maybe they do make that choice and look back and wonder how the eff that happened.

Being 'gifted' is often overrated, when you hug your kid at night, what would you wish for them ?
Lets hope it includes mental and emotional wellbeing before better grades.

Loulou2010

My 6 year old is very bright although i wouldn't call him gifted (or want to). About a year ahead of his peers according to his teachers. If he likes a subject then he has to know everything about it. At the moment it is Star Wars. He's yet to watch a film of it yet knows an awful lot about it. He knows how to Google and loves reading so able to find out what he wants. At school he struggles with having to sit quietly at carpet time. His teacher (last term) said they were having a class discussion about the seaside. He was looking bored and not listening (so she thought). Put his hand up and asks what a group of crabs are called. His mind is always one step ahead. This term they are learning about castles and he is wanting to know the excact details of how a knights armour is made.

A downside to being naturally bright (we've not coached him) is he gets frustrated with not being the best at everything. He isn't sporty. Sports day caused no end of stress because he didn't win. He is quite a logical thinker. There are a couple of children who doesn't get on with and they are complete opposites to him. Definately a lot more sporty. They dont understand his "geekiness". So they clash. They want to run around and do ninja moves etc, whereas he is there reciting acts about such and such superhero. He would much rather think of a solution to a disagreement than fight it out like the other boys do. I think thats why he has a lot of friendships with girls.

At 3 i would leave them be. Social skills are the most important thing. Teach them to respect their friends/adults. Teach them manners, empathy (as much as you can teach that to a 3 yr old!). Go for walks and let them explore. Build up their fine motor and gross motor skills. Climb some trees. Make a den out of branches. Let them take some risks (within reason and supervised). Read lots. Introduce letters that have meaning to them (ie in their name and then mummy and daddys name etc). Introduce language when out and about exploring. Talk about the sounds you heard when stepping in that sqiushy, squelchy mud while running away from the gigantic hairy dinosaur that was chasing you. Expand their imagination. There are more important things than intelligence at this age. Let them have fun.