Divorce Advice

mjkyorkshire1

Here we go, today's the day. Mediation meeting number three. If we can't agree today then it'll go to a judge.
I'm still fighting a very steep up hill battle, but in six hours time hopefully I'll know what my future looks like. The mediator so far has been very good, very balanced and given some good guidance, but in the end there's only two people who can determine the outcome, so fingers crossed ... I'm going in!!

mjkyorkshire1

Final mediation meeting was December 23rd. It seemed to go OK, I could have come out of it better, but also a lot worse too.
Now it goes to the hands of my wife's solicitor to be made into a legal document, I'm just hoping that he doesn't start trying to change things and tell her she could do better or take more. It would be nice if it could just be drawn up as is, get passed through the system and then we can both move on.
I'm likely to be renting until she sells the house, but my main priority is my girls, so I want to make sure I do right by them. And that five years of reduced responsibility will allow me to work on sorting my finances and preparing for my long term future.
So fingers crossed for a smooth end to the process, and also for a happier future...

[Deleted User]

mjkyorkshire1 wrote: »

I agree, I guess I'm just looking for my own silver lining when I feel like I'm being dumped on. It's more a point that up until August this year everything I did was in good faith for the benefit of the family, and now it feels as though it's being exploited. And for no good reason other than it can be.

I am going through exactly the same as the comment, just feels wrong in a world of supposed equality...

System

mjkyorkshire1 wrote: »

Final mediation meeting was December 23rd. It seemed to go OK, I could have come out of it better, but also a lot worse too.
Now it goes to the hands of my wife's solicitor to be made into a legal document, I'm just hoping that he doesn't start trying to change things and tell her she could do better or take more. It would be nice if it could just be drawn up as is, get passed through the system and then we can both move on.
I'm likely to be renting until she sells the house, but my main priority is my girls, so I want to make sure I do right by them. And that five years of reduced responsibility will allow me to work on sorting my finances and preparing for my long term future.
So fingers crossed for a smooth end to the process, and also for a happier future...

If the wife has included anything about spousal maintenance being paid, even if only a token amount, then you should also have similar. it works both ways. Say for example you lose your job / unable to work? Your wife probably wouldn't hesitate to use it so why shouldn't you?

LilElvis

Deleted_User wrote: »

I am going through exactly the same as the comment, just feels wrong in a world of supposed equality...

But there is equality - the financial settlement is based on the positions of the two parties, regardless of their sex.

My friend (female) was a high earner and her husband a stay at home parent. When they divorced he gained the marital home and primary custody of the children, she received a minor percentage of the equity in the home and makes maintenance payments.

DigForVictory

If it makes financial sense for her to get all the child benefit, how does you becoming the main carer math out? As the child tax credit logic is ruthless - where do they sleep, who takes the child to the GP, who is the school primary contact? I really do not advocate separating siblings for the money & Tax Credits hate paying two parents where one seems more correct.

Best of luck