*Change of plan - and maybe some good news!*

Ellidee

Wow great news about Stu's interview. Sounds as though everything is starting to work out already. Btw hate to ask when you have had so much going on but were you able to do that BIG favour for me ? XX

Snaggles

Oh crap Ellidee, I'm so sorry, I forgot all about it. I will have a look at it tomorrow and if I can't work it out I will ask Stu to see if he can do it. It's definitely on there, it's just a matter of getting it back off!

Ellidee

No need to apologise you have had a lot on your plate and it is a big ask. Haven't fessed up to 'you know who' yet either ! X

Snaggles

Well, if you see me online tomorrow, give me a kick up the backside and say 'Snaggles, go and do you know what for you know who, NOW'!

barnaby-bear

Snaggles wrote: »

Thanks, yes, seems to be a lot of changes going on, but good ones I think.

Forgot to say as well :doh: Stu has a job interview on Monday :T, after our CAMHS appointment. Busy day!!

Just defer the decision by procrastination until you know for certain when and how long and even where Mr. S will be working; so there's a B plan.

Also bear in mind my colleagues tell me people with under 6s and children over 6 classed as disabled/in-need of care are entitled to an amount of unpaid family leave in the first so many years - both parents. So if you are talking one day a week in school holidays you maybe entitled to take it anyway which could cover you for a while to see how it goes so not rushed into anything. The important thing is to have time to make changes good positive ones rahter than finding something that'll fit in. It's easy to see a job as attractive because of hours but the actual job, pay or work environment doesn't compensate.

I know you want to do the best for Ryan but also consider if/what you need from a job to keep you sane - do you need to work with other people/lots of people/adults etc. Ryan's going to need to adjust to life at some point you can't do everything for him and will need to let him adjust to other people being there to support him too.

1) Find out exactly what entitled to - maybe try the autistic parents support groups/charities - other parents will have had issues with flexi-time and childcare. There maybe specialist summer camps/playschemes (I recall an ex-student of mine had been to the Grand Canyon with one)
2) Read the Equal Opportunities Case Studies and Info.
3) Wait and see what Mr. S.'s job turns up
4) Think
5) Wait
6) Discuss it with Mr. S: Maybe he wants to do 4 days - some of my colleagues do this; maybe he'll get a 7-4 shift (not sure exactly what he does)/ flexi-time (one of my colleagues does 5-3 becuase his daughter does national swimming training before school).
7) Witter

But make a decision in your own time and with all the information and available options found out and considered.

Snaggles

Also bear in mind my colleagues tell me people with under 6s and children over 6 classed as disabled/in-need of care are entitled to an amount of unpaid family leave in the first so many years - both parents. So if you are talking one day a week in school holidays you maybe entitled to take it anyway which could cover you for a while to see how it goes so not rushed into anything.

Unfortunately, it has to be taken in blocks of at least a week, and the company I work for doesn't tend to agree it during holidays (they are allowed to do this because they can prove a genuine business need to reject it). We don't have any family nearby that could provide suitable care either unfortunately.

I know you want to do the best for Ryan but also consider if/what you need from a job to keep you sane - do you need to work with other people/lots of people/adults etc. Ryan's going to need to adjust to life at some point you can't do everything for him and will need to let him adjust to other people being there to support him too.

I've been trying to think about what I want from a job.

Financially, minimum wage would cover my outgoings if I don't have childcare costs, and if I do have childcare to pay, I think I could cope providing I was entitled to the basic amount of tax credits (and unless Stu suddenly realises he's a fully qualified brain surgeon, I don't think there's any danger of us earning too much ).

Mentally, it would be nice to have some adult conversation, and to have to use my brain occasionally, but I think pretty much any job would give me those things.

I think I really have to take the time to make the 'right' decision this time, even if it means less money.

1) Find out exactly what entitled to - maybe try the autistic parents support groups/charities - other parents will have had issues with flexi-time and childcare. There maybe specialist summer camps/playschemes (I recall an ex-student of mine had been to the Grand Canyon with one)
2) Read the Equal Opportunities Case Studies and Info.

I will do thanks - I've heard there isn't much in this area, but it is worth looking into.

6) Discuss it with Mr. S: Maybe he wants to do 4 days - some of my colleagues do this; maybe he'll get a 7-4 shift (not sure exactly what he does)/ flexi-time (one of my colleagues does 5-3 becuase his daughter does national swimming training before school).

He's currently a multi-drop driver (parcel deliverer), so the shifts aren't very flexible - previously he worked in a warehouse, which tends to be shift work, which again brings it's own problems. But he will look at all options and try and fit in around me if at all possible.

7) Witter

You know me so well...

lauradora

Don't be fooled into thinking that any job would give your brain some exercise!! I've done this a couple of times to my doom!! I've worked in call centres and behind tills and its more grief then its worth. Your surrounded by people with no brains all day, and bossed around by teenagers!!!

Karmacat

"But make a decision in your own time and with all the information and available options found out and considered."

BB, that is *such* a good way of putting it, I really like that [KC rushes off to scribble it down somewhere]...

Snaggles - some big decisions to be made over the coming year. Best of luck for all the stuff thats going to go on on Monday.

Snaggles

lauradora wrote: »

Don't be fooled into thinking that any job would give your brain some exercise!! I've done this a couple of times to my doom!! I've worked in call centres and behind tills and its more grief then its worth. Your surrounded by people with no brains all day, and bossed around by teenagers!!!

Lol, yep, done all of those!

But I've also had 'good' jobs that have been exactly the same too....bossed around my teenagers (or managers barely out of their teens who have been promoted waaay beyond their current level of ability), and so repetitive it would make you want to scream. There's always a way to use your brain to stretch yourself and do the best you possibly can, but granted, some jobs make it easier than others!

When it comes to getting bossed around though, I saw a great sig the other day that I think I might adopt as my motto - can't remember whose it was but it said 'You don't scare me - I'm a MUM!' :rotfl:

barnaby-bear

lauradora wrote: »

Don't be fooled into thinking that any job would give your brain some exercise!! I've done this a couple of times to my doom!! I've worked in call centres and behind tills and its more grief then its worth. Your surrounded by people with no brains all day, and bossed around by teenagers!!!

It is easy to see the positives in *another* job and *somebody else's* job....
There are also factors people forget like pensions, bonuses (sharesave)....
Basically we all want more family time, security, nice work environment and pay.... just they are never all there....

Being at home with your kids sounds nice, not having the sharesave for the holiday or not being able to go out anywhere if money tight is harder and having to scrimp long term is hard for *some* people. Sorry no right answers.... and your employers won't have them.

My cousin worked in two schools one was lovely and friendly the other she went to for better pay and was the only secretary - the teachers were all middle-aged women, smug (basically teachers) and looked down on her - but hating kids and finally catching impetigo were the things that made her leave.... so it can just be the group of people for two seemingly identical jobs - if this is possibly your change of direction big move do it but on your terms.... and when you know what/where Mr. S will be.