Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

jobbingmusician

squishables! Love it! Off to the cupboard for squishes!!!!

OMG OMG that bikini - reeeeeevolting!!!!!!

Flybaby

Gingernutty, sounds like you had an interesting day.


I have always been in two minds about London. I can be in central London in 40 minutes on the train, but very rarely go there to socialise. I generally end up in London once or twice a week for work, wandering about from construction site to construction site and have to say that, I find it weirdly enjoyable to sample the hustle and bustle of city life. It helps that I have now been doing it for so many years that I know how to walk between tube stations, find little shortcuts, know where some great independent cafes are, oh, and of course have an in-depth knowledge of the closest toilet to any given tube station. I wouldn't want to work there all the time though. I enjoy it in the summer when I wander about up top avoiding the tubes and I am forever seeing all the things advertised and places to go which look like fun, but one would have to have a rather large budget to enjoy such things on a regular basis. I will admit to loving a visit to the museums and have probably been to the Natural History Museum close to 100 times in my lifetime.......when I was a kid, I wanted to work in the library at the Natural History Museum, I thought that would be super cool.

tea_lover

Just spent an hour and a half talking to FOH I came out of church and he drove up next to me and got out of the car. He was begging me to get in, to go get a coffee or something and talk to him. I said no, he kept begging, he was really upset....so somehow I ended up standing in the freezing street talking to him. Which I know, believe me I know, was a terrible idea. The police are going to tell me off

He said how sorry he is, how much he loves me, how he won't give up hope of us getting back together (I asked how he thought that would work with a restraining order!) He really can't see that he's done anything wrong as in his mind he just wanted to speak to me so none of it has been harassment.

I was very clear that there is not a sliver of hope of us ever getting back together. Said I knew he was sorry and I'm glad he's getting help but that doesn't change the fact that it's completely over.

Got the standard replies....he's changed, he'll be devoted, he'll do anything to make me happy (except just !!!! off it seems).

He told me about his counselling and the church he's going to. Again I was clear that I think those things are helpful for him, to help him move on, but that it doesn't change anything.

He seems to think that nothing will happen in court as he only wanted to speak to me. To which I tried to explain that he probably will end up with a restraining order and if he carries on he could get in a lot of trouble. He even seemed surprised when I said that obviously I was going to tell the police about this.

I was surpringly calm. Considering I can't have a conversation about this with anyone else, I wasn't upset as such. Think I was on auto pilot. I could hear myself saying that it's never going to happen, that he needs to move on and get better, that he only thinks he means this because he's not thinking straight....but there is a part of me thinking it could all be true. But none of that part of me said anything, you'll be glad to hear! Ironically by the end of the conversation I think he did see (partly) how mad it was to think we'd sort things...which leaves me feeling a bit let down, how stupid is that?!

I know it was stupid to stop and get into a conversation but he was begging, he was desperate, he even showed me medication and told me how close he'd been to ending things on two occasions.

Am dreading telling the police what I've done.

mellymoo74

Remembered why I don't take codeine.
No tramadol till tomorrow so nicked OHS codeine
I have a porky white disapproving shadow.

The story of Froo the wonder dog
Once upon a time MellyMoo wanted to get her grumpy lonely son a friend as he is a terrier and a boy the friend needed to be a girl.

So she scouted the land none of the dogs homes had one that was the right size and MellyMoo cried whenever she left because she couldn't save them all.
So she put an advert on preloved and was contacted by a lady who had been very sick so needed to rehome a lovely brown and white mummy and a stark staring mad white creature.
MellyMoo and grumble weed travelled down the scary road all the way to Coventry, where they were greeted by a friendly pusscat, a lovely cuddly brown and white JRT who was calm and a small squeaking white creature, with spotty ears, a scrap of material in its mouth that would not stand still.
Grumble weed watched the mad, squeaking nutcase and said 'that one.' MellyMoo who had hoped for the lovely calm cuddly one said 'ok, but you do realise she's over stimulated and quite mad?' Grumble weed said 'that one.' So MellyMoo gave the lady money and the mental thing came home with them.

Froo the wondrous was called Molly the mad and MellyMoo knew she needed a new name for her new home so called her Freya the Froo.
Froo walked into her new home, nicked her new brothers favourite toy, kissed him on the face and he was smitten.
She then jumped onto the kitchen side and knocked jam donuts off for them to enjoy.

Froo took a while to understand that when god Mummy went into a different room she didn't need to pick up a scrap of teddy, squeak, and run round like a nutter god mummy would give her a love if she was calm.

Now Froo rules grumpy boo and grumble weed with an iron paw, they both kiss her when she wants and play when she wants and all she wants is the same power over god mummy she tries to get this by staring at her when she sleeps, joining g her in the shower and never ever leaving her alone.

mellymoo74

Tea
Make sure you do tell them. Don't beat yourself up you were blindsided but do tell them that and that you made it clear you want him to leave you alone.

Eta I am furious on your behalf tea, the telling you he'd considered suicide is not on. Sole reason is to guilt trip you into going back.

Pyxis

Tea, you've done really, really well! :T

Superlatively well, especially by not giving him any handle to hang any hope on. Plus you managed to speak to him without getting in the car or going and 'socialising' over a coffee. So well done.

Now you have spoken to him, he should leave you alone. If he doesn't, then he really does need a restraining order.

Do please make sure you tell police baby. I'm sure they'll understand, and you did it in the right way possible. You didn't make an 'appointment' to see him, he just turned up in the street. The police aren't going to tell you off, but they do need to know.

Have a good rest now; I expect you're exhausted. TLC for the rest if today.:A

pollyanna_26

Tea Quick drop in to agree with all Pyxis has said . You were placed on the spot and behaved in a calm and reasonable manner . The situation could have gone badly had you walked away . The police will be used to these things happening and will not blame you in any way . At least you have told him face to face there is no way you will change your mind and have shown him emotional blackmail will not change that .Well done .
Hugs to any who want one . Very busy right now . Take care all .
polly

tea_lover

Yes melly I was v much not impressed with that attempt at emotional blackmail, and told him that (which probably didn't help). It's three years this week since a v good friend of his took that route, so I can only hope that his knowledge of what that was like for his family will stick with him.

I don't think I did very well pyxis! I should have walked away, and I shouldn't be sitting here wondering if he means it. Suppose I can be glad that at least what I said was consistent, even if what I'm thinking isn't.

Gingernutty

tea_lover wrote: »

I don't think I did very well pyxis! I should have walked away,

And he'd have chased after you, I'm sure.

He ambushed you, you held your ground, you maintained your position and you were able to walk away without physical harm.

Tell Police Baby about this.

Well done. Very well done.

tea_lover

He asked me why I'd called the police after he followed me, I said because I was scared.

At one point he stepped towards me and I flinched, I totally didn't mean to but I did and he noticed. He asked if I was actually thought he'd hurt me and I said honestly I didn't know. I never thought he'd behave like he has over the last few months and he's standing there saying he's thought about ending it so clearly I have no idea what he's capable of. I don't think he'd intentionally hurt me, but I wouldn't put it past him to do something stupid to one or both of us to make a point.

And even thinking that, I'm still thinking that maybe he has actually come to his senses and has changed.

Grr...what a mess.