Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

Flybaby

Tea - You have done nothing wrong, he basically cornered you. Agree with all others, definitely need to inform police baby asap, as I strongly suspect this incident will escalate his behaviour and he will now attempt to contact you more.
I thought maybe he needed to be "heard" by you - but if he clearly heard you saying you don't want anything to do with him and still kept you for an hour and a half, that is clearly not the case.
However reasonable he sounds tea - there is something fundamentally wrong if someone cannot process a request for them to stop contacting you - and having been told to leave you alone, him then driving to your church at the time he knows you will be there specifically to talk to you is 100% stalking and harassment. Don't be fooled by how rational he sounds - he cannot grasp the simple fact you don't want him near you and that is not right. Please remain vigilant with your personal safety and ensure someone knows where you are, or supposed to be at all times.

System

Thank you so much for the support (sorry im late catching up), it helps to know i'm not alone in dealing with debt and that there is hope to sort it out. Ive been very careful with my money this week and have been keeping a note of everything i;ve spent. Ive decided i'm going to make sure every week i know exactly how much i;ve spent (hopefully in a spreadsheet once i meet up with my friend) and tonight i'm going to work out a budget for myself

I;ve felt so hopeleess over it for many years but i finally actually feel hopeful this time

Also first bargain of the day...i got 3 bottles of e-liquid for FREE as i had loyalty points to spend, plus i still have another £20 worth so that will keep me going for a few weeks

System

Tea i'm sorry FOH till hasn't got the message and is still harassing you (and yes, that's what is it). He's been warned time and time again for his behaviour and he still isn't listening.

I have to agree with Flybaby here, he can't for whatever reason see what he's doing is wrong and that it's hurting you. He can;t accept that. If he;d changed, if he really cared deep down, he woudn't want to cause you distress and would respect your wishes. Instead he;s not caring at al about anyone but himself. he;s being very selfish. So has he actually changed? I don't think so.

It can be very easy to believe someone has changed, i thought my ex, after all the chances i gave him, after doing things i wasn't comfortable with, i thought he;d change. But he;s still the lying cheating !!!! he always was. And always will be. And i'm glad he;s not a part of my life anymore and has no more control over me.

Pyxis

Despicable Me 2 is on ITV2 +1 at the moment! Minions!

Waves_and_Smiles

Well done, tea! You handled that so well! You did repeat that he needed to remove on (the counsellor in me applauds your broken record technique) and you were calm, a lot more than people would be. Police baby will understand, you were cornered and had little choice. I think you handled it very well.

I love hearing about your fluffies, Melly!

That bikini is terrifying!

I am biting my tongue here. My american friend adopted a stray cat. We know she was a stray because she had her ear clipped which is the USA neuter and release programme. She is a lovely cat but she keeps having diawoowoo and my friend is slightly phobic about it. She said if it continues she won't be able to keep her. She is going to the vets with her this week to see if anything is wrong. I have been giving her advice about this cat because I always rescued cats that others wouldn't have and it is breaking my heart to think she might not be kept. I am being sympathetic to my friend and I do understand, but at the same time it's difficult because 4 out of 6 of my cats had health problems when I got them or were ferals and I adopted them for that reason. Because of a bad breeder my maine coons were ill too so in the end all of my cats had various illnesses and disabilities but they all still had lovely lives. I don't want the cat to go and because I am soppy I have been crying over it.

whitewing

Logic tells me that she must be pretty smitten to take it to the vets. So even if it is too costly for her, then someone will look after it who is more able to than your friend currently.

WaS, I really don't think you need to worry. Sounds like your friend is trying to convince herself that she may need to let it go so she is unlikely to!

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, I really hope that you are right, whitewing. It is difficult for me to put my feelings aside because all of mine were on medication and had regular vet visits, then there was my little feral tortoiseshell who had kidney failure and was given intravenous fluids by me for a year to extend her life. I have always chosen the ones who no one else would have so that they had a chance, I am unfazed by most illnesses from pets and I wouldn't ever consider not keeping one because they were sick or had behavioural problems. I do realise everyone isn't like me and that is totally as it should be, it just makes me sad.

jobbingmusician

tea - what others have said. You dealt with the situation really well, by the sounds of things, and it's not your fault that FOH cornered you on the street. Can we hope that he has made progress through today's discussion? Probably not because he does sound, generally, to have lost the plot - and no, I don't believe he is likely to have changed. If he was thoughtful about you, he wouldn't be harrassing you. xxxxx

Pyxis

Didn't someone on here have a cat with persistent d-woo? And it got sorted in the end. Was it this thread?

I'm sure the vet will be able to fix it.

It's probably a reaction to several changes of diet and changes of homes and is bound to settle down.

Does your friend have a phobia of d-woo? Is the cat using an indoor tray? Or is it making a lot of mess everywhere?

Waves_and_Smiles

She can't make it to the tray, Pyxis. I am telling my friend that diawoowoo 4 times in 3 hours likely isn't behavioural, the cat has been using a tray with no problems up until the last few days. She does have a vets appointment for her so hopefully that helps. My friend is phobic about diawoowoo, it makes her vomit everytime so it isn't ideal. I still really want her to keep this cat, especially as she has been clipped so was homeless previously. Otherwise she is a very loving and gentle girl, it is just this problem.