Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

calleyw

jobbingmusician wrote: »

That's more difficult then. But it does sound to me as if the really most difficult bit is forgiving YOURSELF - remember to be kind to yourself and not to beat yourself up for things you can't change!

(BTW, hope my suggestion of bringing things to the fort didn't sound like nosiness - it's just reassurance that you have Team WaS to talk things through with now whenever you want to.)

Hugs and squishes! (((((()))))) ~~~~~~~~~~~~~ xxxxxx

I can't forgive myself as I have hurt someone I care about. And ruined a friendship that could have been more.

I know I can't change them but I can change myself. I just seem to get wound up by them. And no idea why. I think its because I have so little in my life. And for some strange unknown reason they seem to have a million and one dramas in there lives. And most of the time it just seems to be excuse after excuse. As to why they don't answer there phone or reply to texts or wont come and see me. I do believe them are telling the truth about what has happened.

But what gets me if I do the same for what ever reason he throws his toys out the pram but its wrong for me to do it.

I am expected to understand his issues but he does not want to do the same back. I know how I am suppose to play it but I just can't seem to do so.

I need to work on my temper. My mum has one and so does both my brothers. But not my dad. we do share one trait we both know how to be annoying :rotfl:like yesterday waiting in the line of the carvery my dad was stood behind me and was blowing on my hair LOL!!!

taken another valium. Might see if I go back to the drs to get some more. I have some calm tablets here as well. So will start to take them to help calm me down.

Need to get some decent sleep and food and exercise to start with. And work forwards of that.

Going to keep myself to myself and not deal with any people at the moment that includes my husband and family. I need to mull things over but how I move forwards.

Yours

Calley

Gingernutty

Hey guys!

I saw the full lunar eclipse, took some wonky photos with a small Coolpix camera (no tripod, full zoom meant I was bracing the camera with a wheelie bin and still deleting most of the reddish blurs) but it was freezing and I went in before I saw the eclipse retreat.

I have received a letter confirming that my smear was normal (next one in 2018) and another saying that I will be contacted in the future about high intensity therapy.

I went to see the Grand Central shopping centre in New Street Birmingham.

:eek:

The crowds were immense!

So were some of the price tags. :eek:

Kiehl's, Cath Kidston, Carluccio's, The White Company, Pandora, Fat Face, Steel & Jelly....

These are not the shops that were there before.

Before the centre closed down, the poshest shop was a Druckers!

I can imagine walking round at a leisurely pace at another time, but as it's still new and coming up to Christmas, I'm going to give it a miss...

((((Cally)))). It's hard, sometimes, to face up to your own embarrassing behaviour, regardless of how in the wrong the other side is.

Your idea that you don't contact the other party is a good one.

calleyw

codemonkey wrote: »

Is this your ex calley? If it is then he's a massive end of a bell.

I would loosely use the term ex as I don't think we where ever in a relationship.

Well maybe once before he ran off after telling me that he thought I ought to meet his mum!!!!

God knows what he thought would happen but there you go.

Mind you is 51yrs old. And all I get is he has a bad head and can't cope with life. But he gets up and does 50 hrs weeks at work!!!!

Yours

Calley

Gingernutty

From that description, delete all contact details.

Self pitying mummys' boys are not keepers.

codemonkey

Gingernutty wrote: »

From that description, delete all contact details.

Self pitying mummys' boys are not keepers.

^^This

And other characters

jobbingmusician

calleyw wrote: »

I can't forgive myself as I have hurt someone I care about. And ruined a friendship that could have been more.

So? Imagine if a friend had done exactly the same and come to you for advice. What would you say to her? I bet you would be a lot kinder to her than you are being to you. Remember to love yourself and be kind to YOU! :heart2::heart2::heart2::heart2::happyhear

It was a great revelation to me when I realised that I love my friends 'warts and all' and actually their imperfections are part of them and part of the reason I love them. So the same should be true of me, although obviously I try to overcome the imperfections as well.

And there are plenty more fish in the sea. I suspect that you are telling yourself that you have thrown away your only chance of happiness. THIS IS RUBBISH! What is to be will be.......:A

calleyw

Gingernutty wrote: »

From that description, delete all contact details.

Self pitying mummys' boys are not keepers.

He even talked about moving in with his mum. she was going to move to the town he lives in before she got ill. I thought was a bit a strange.

I wonder how he has ever held down 3 long term relationships and had children as well. With the behavior that I have seen from him.

Yours

Calley

calleyw

jobbingmusician wrote: »

S
And there are plenty more fish in the sea. I suspect that you are telling yourself that you have thrown away your only chance of happiness. THIS IS RUBBISH! What is to be will be.......:A

Its more about not getting a proper chance to see if it would work.


Yours

Calley

jobbingmusician

Yeah, but if it was meant to be, it would have been

Waves_and_Smiles

Aw, Calley give yourself a break. We all mess up sometimes, I have a list as long as my arm of things I can cringe about. As JM says, part of friendships is caring for our friends no matter what even if they do make mistakes. We also need to forgive ourselves. I can tell from your posts here that you wouldn't judge anyone so harshly as this person has judged you, he doesn't sound like he has the capacity for a true relationship, warts and all.

Be gentle with yourself for the next few days and please try to forgive yourself. You are more than capable of rewarding and caring friendships, you have no need to be hard on yourself.

I saw a bit of the moon! I stared, I saw there was a bit missing and a glow on one side instead, stared some more and remembered various science fiction disaster stories I had read, then decided it was freaky and dived into bed where the scary moon couldn't get me! You may laugh.

Good news is my stomach is a lot better! My digestion is still a little slow but things are improving and I don't need to go back to the hospital unless there is a problem.

Thank you for all of your lovely words about the benefits situation. These things really upset me. It tends to go in two directions. First I panic that no one will be believe me and I will have no money, then when they do believe me I become very depressed that someone else realises that I really am that unwell and I feel like I have been written off. I shall no doubt be panicking a lot over the coming months, please forgive me in advance.