Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

whitewing

flybaby,

Why can't you work out a plan where you go travelling and he joins you for a week every so often?

Rather than a completely 'free' gap-year sort of excursion across a number of places, why don't you join a project or something a little more structured?

Is it a cost thing that restricts you?

Wellyboots6

Checking in, but unlikely to be posting today as still struggling a lot.

Hope everyone has a good day x

Flybaby

WW - not a cost thing, we could manage, but it is just not something I want to do without him. I am married and to me that means we plan, succeed and/or fall together. Falling in love can be a real pain in the as* sometimes!!!!!(I know, I know.......... I know how lucky I am)


He was a bit grumpy this morning and didn't want to go to work so I told him to quit and we would go travelling. He smiled, but said no (and he knew I was serious). It is strange because I am normally the serious one who plans and saves and wants routine and he is the live for the moment one - but deep down he is a very sensible bunny really......... we are complete opposites and balance each other out........ he has suggested a weekend away instead. Piffle! Such is life! But for those who are single and not happy about it, may this be a reminder to value your independence and autonomy while you have it - make sure you do everything YOU want to do, before you fall in love with someone and commit to sharing your life. p.s. we are not THAT grown up btw - we are going to see if we can find a new water park to visit for a weekend!!!!

Penguin reply about medical research - I had always planned to leave my body for teaching new doctors, but when it came up in conversation a while back, hubby was really shocked and muchly disliked the idea. He has no problem with organ donation, but didn't like the idea of me being cut up for teaching purposes. I have left it with him to think about because at the end of the day, if he is the one left, I think he should be able to do what he is comfortable with. But I was surprised I have to say.
I am not sure what to say about considering the effects of suicide on any donation (in terms of how healthy that is for anyone to do) but I do think that a suicide is more than likely to require a post mortem, which immediately means your body would not be viable for any donation or research/training.

onomatopoeia99

MU, I get the birthday blues too, which goes back to my 30th and events surrounding it (without going into detail, this was a very black time for me). The passing of each year makes me look at my life and reminds me how long I have been single for. Objectively I know I have a stable job, my own home and no debt other than the mortgage and am in a much better position than many, but for me life is a journey better shared and there's this massive emotional void which the arrival of each birthday draws forcefully to my attention.

Consequently, I try to ignore my birthday as much as possible, as I feel like I've spent over a decade paddling furiously and going backwards all the time..


On an entirely different subject, Calley, the dress is gorgeous!

Birdie85

{Squish} for Welly

I get where you're coming with your conundrum Flybaby! I've never been mad on the idea of travelling that much (TBH, I'm too much of a scaredy cat to go somewhere off the beaten track and I like my home comforts too much to rough it!) but even if I did want to go off, I'd want my DH with me... I have single friends who seem to be off on adventures all the time and sometimes I do envy their lives... but then I realise that I'm happy with my life, it's just different.

Is there anything you're good at that you can do from home? Any crafts that you're good at that can be sold? Mature students aren't so rare nowadays and even at 40 you're hardly past it, anyone taking you on would be looking at having you there for 20-odd years so it's hardly a massive risk! I'd be more inclined to take on a 40 year old apprentice than an 18 year old TBH!

I'm trying not to fall into a massive cake related stress! It's our office Bake Off round 1 tomorrow and I'm making the cake for my team. Made a practice last week and it was awesome. Baked the cake last night with the plan to decorate it tonight but SIL came round, and much as I love her, she doesn't half go on and was there all evening so I had to bake and listen to her rambling at the same time which put me off and this morning I realised that I've put too much of some things in, and not enough/or any of others! So tonight I have to do it all over again! So glad I gave myself the extra day, will just be a busy night tonight... I don't think someone with anxiety issues should really be working in a team for something like this though, I can't bear the thought of letting them down!!!

ETA: Penguin about the medical research stuff: I've not considered leaving my body to science but I am an organ donor. I would like it if my passing helped others, and I won't need any of it once I'm gone! DH on the other hand is very squeamish about it all and refuses to be a donor as he has convinced himself that if he was in a serious accident the doctors would just be seeing him as parts to be harvested rather than a person to be saved and will turn him off before his time. No amount of reasoning will change his mind. This difference of opinion has me worried as it will put both of us in an awkward position if anything awful happened to either of us, do we follow the other's wishes even though we disagree with it, or do we do what we feel is right?

Flybaby

ono - nerd, librarian and sci-fi geek - yea! Another one like me! I already have the date in December in our calendar for the new star wars film - hubby is not into it but thankfully his best friend is - so we leave our respective other halfs in the pub and go geek together!
Thanks birdie - yes, am considering that as I am quite crafty and handy. We had an idea many moons ago, about a ladies "handyman" service - since my mum and I can do practically anything ( single mum family - you soon learn!) and we were going to joked about having a company called "Rip it and Drip it" which catered to other single women to do things like decorating, gardening, building, car maintenance, shelves, curtains, plumbing things etc etc, charging a reasonable price and more to the point, if the customers wanted it, teaching them as we went so they wouldn;t need to send money on getting people in going forward. I still really like that idea.


I am really sorry for anyone who gets the birthday blues and am sending big squishes to you all. You make me realise that I am ever so lucky and actually only don't like my birthday as I don't like being the centre of attention, but have no other reason to dislike, so perhaps I need to be a little less bratty about it next year.


Birdie - Penguine reply about the medical research/loss thing.....It is a difficult one isn;t it? When someone has passed, should you do what they wanted or what makes you feel better? I would want my OH to do whatever makes him feel better/least bad, but then I don't have any real strong feelings about such matters. I do have a list of suggestions with my will regarding funeral arrangments, songs, where to put me etc etc - as I know some people really really struggle with making these kind of decisions/choices when they lose a loved one, as I have seen it happen in terrible circumstances, so wanted my family to have a list to go from, but if they have any strong feelings about anything, it states I want them to do whatever makes them feel comfortable.

Waves_and_Smiles

Medical Researcher Penguin (wearing a white coat and carrying a clip board)

I have carried a donor card since I was 18. I don't think that many of my organs are viable but at least my skin could be used. I love the fact that on my death that a part of me could help someone else live. I have also left my body to medical science, in my case it is quite important because some important anomalies can only be seen within a schizophrenic brain when it is examined after death. I would love to indirectly help others with the same condition.

Medical Researcher Penguin wanders off

I have been allergied! (I made a word). It didn't hurt at all and a lot of the little bumps have gone. I have numbers marked in felt pen all over my arm but other than that there are only a couple of small bumps left. Three bumps came up within 5 minutes! Twelve of the tests were for things that contain the avocado protein in varying degrees.

The results were very interesting! She said they were looking for allergies and what she called sensitivities, the latter are not allergies yet but could be with prolonged or heavy exposure to the substances. So I should only eat those things occasionally and in small portions.

The results- Full allergies are avocado, shellfish (I don't eat it so I had no idea), latex (contains avocado protein) and the nettle family.

Sensitivities- Figs, kiwi fruit, tomatoes, celery (all part of the avocado protein family), lactose, eggs and soy.

I had no idea that I had any reaction to lactose, soy or eggs. Tomatoes sometimes give me mouth ulcers immediately if eaten raw so I wasn't quite so shocked. I can still eat these foods but if I have say a milkshake it is best not to have another for a week and only have minimum dairy afterwards so that my body isn't flooded with lactose. The nurse said my body can cope with these things so far but it doesn't like them.

I have been given an Epi-pen because my reaction to the avocado protein is so strong and it is found in a lot of food and skin creams. Allergic reactions tend to worsen at each exposure so the Epi-pen is a safety measure. I may still be allergic to other things, they only tested for 21 items so if I have another reaction I can go back and be tested again for something different.

So now I know...

System

Eurgh

Decided to stay up all night as im terrible at getting up early, thinking now this was a stupid idea (though I did get all the things I needed to do done). Had my contraceptive injection (on time this time!) and now feeling somewhat hormonal I think it's the combination of lack of sleep and having just had 3 months worth of hormones injected into me that's making me feel emotional.

Seeing Swain later though and gonna try and have a nap

jobbingmusician

WaS - you can get lactose free milk! We use it all the time in our house cos we believe it is especially good for the 5:2 diet (no milk sugars if you are naughty enough to have milk in your drink on a fast day ) So you could make yourself 'safe' milkshakes I think

PS And well done for having your tests with no problems! ((()))xxx~~~

Waves_and_Smiles

Hope you manage a good nap, MU!

Ooooh, I shall look for that, JM, thank you! I happen to love milkshakes (and Lucee loves them even more!) so my face dropped a bit when she mentioned lactose, it's not like I can substitute for soy milk either!