Here we can all be heard for a little while. Part 2

dragonette

Oh but WaS, without you I wouldn't have thought of talking to my others - the lil one sends back emotions and hugs, and my armored other is like having a bodyguard at all times they aren't verbal, but that may come with time.

I'm very lucky to have people round about me who are happy to interact with my others. That seems to help as much as me talking and reassuring them.

Physically, I'm on an upward trend atm (finally ). Fewer energy crashes mean my stress levels are a little lower, and I haven't had any crazy reactions for a few weeks. Bring allergic to the air was, interesting? Is being investigated so that's fine

Calley , I sometimes get those intrusive thoughts at night too. It kinda feels like your brain or memory is trying to bully me. Haven't found a good way to switch it off, but luckily is usually gone when I wake up. Fingers crossed it gives you some peace soon x

Code, this is the (very short) season for fresh figs. They are quite effective and easier to judge than mints I find. Unlike the sweeteners, they make it easier for a bit longer but not in as dramatic a fashion.

Piggels The drs notes are as much your property as that of the NHS, and it might help you figure out why the Dr changed his opinion. Are there any charities in the area that might be able to help? Maybe an advocacy service could have someone to go along to appointments with you? It is hugely frustrating to feel like the help is just out of reach *hugs* if you would like them

codemonkey

On the subject of others, I've been trying to engage mine. Anoushka is refusing to talk - she says that she's too reckless and doesn't want me to get hurt so is staying quiet until we're ready again . Jane isn't saying much either - she thinks I'm ok and don't need her advice right now. Jessie - the dark one - is curled up in the corner sleeping. I think I'll leave her be. Anoushka and Jane used to argue a lot but they're getting along for now.

Dragon - should have thought of figs. Been trying to watch a TV program since 9

dragonette

Code - your others have lovely names
Hope the xylitol settles soon, I've been caught it by that in the past. Luckily while at home!

whitewing

I've had a good week so far, but all is in danger of coming undone because I can't shake the shadows that are lurking.

calleyw

dragonette wrote: »

Calley , I sometimes get those intrusive thoughts at night too. It kinda feels like your brain or memory is trying to bully me. Haven't found a good way to switch it off, but luckily is usually gone when I wake up. Fingers crossed it gives you some peace soon x

So do I. As it makes working very difficult with broken sleep. And the feeling of walking out of the job which is really silly.

My husband understands. But just feel that I can't let anyone else in to my world. As its not fair to them and makes me very needy. I need to spend time with people to try and make the feelings go away.

Like this evening just desperate to talk to someone.

Yours

Calley

whitewing

calley,

doesn't talking to the Samaritans help you? I don't mean because you are so distressed, but I just wondered if offloading to them over the phone helps or not?

codemonkey

What's up ww? Hugs

calleyw

whitewing wrote: »

calley,

doesn't talking to the Samaritans help you? I don't mean because you are so distressed, but I just wondered if offloading to them over the phone helps or not?

never thought about that.

yours

Calley

System

calleyw wrote: »

never thought about that.

yours

Calley

you can email them too

they don't respond straight away but there's been times here i have really needed to offload and typing it all down helped a lot, i can't always face talking to people and typing it out makes it easier for me to process

whitewing

It's not really a penguin but I may need to avoid this post

I requested my medical notes so I could get more understanding of my mh issues, but also so I could confirm some details for a research project that I am volunteering with. Part of the notes related to a hospital stay a long time ago, of which I remember very few details. So I discovered that I took more tablets during an overdose than I had thought. I also found that my mum had had a breakdown due to my dad being a prat. I didn't remember that. I was described as angry and hostile. I am also surprised that we were offered family therapy at the time. I don't remember any discussions with nurses or doctors or anything other than a doctor telling me that I wasn't really trying to kill myself - I was manipulative. It hurt me greatly for many, many years because I felt that he was so wrong about the manipulation.

I think the main niggle is that though the notes are accurate, my perception/interpretation of then and more recent situations don't match the 'normal' people's interpretation of it all. Therefore, I don't think my diagnoses are quite as full as they should be. I don't know whether to ruminate on it - to be 'right' - or whether to actually think that I am a huge, huge amount better than I have ever been and so to not worry about it.

I am also disappointed that my parents have stated more recently that I had a perfectly normal childhood with lots of friends, and that any issues seem to have developed as an adult. Now, it isn't a surprise that they have said that. I am disappointed that mh services - having needed to question my parents for diagnostic purposes - haven't actually challenged them on why I took overdoses as a teenager if my childhood was so fabulous.

Have any of you on the thread had a genuinely happy, well-adjusted childhood and then developed mh issues later in life?

DH has only been in from work for a short while so can't chat in detail, but he says that a lot more is known about mh nowadays.

I feel that the interpretations of the notes don't match the info online. Why do I want my diagnosis to include something that seems to have been ruled out?Why can't I accept it as it is?