15 year old fussy eater

uk_american

Whille I agree that a child should taste everything on the plate, I was similar as a child (and remain so as a 40+ adult). I avoided things that didn't make me feel well. We didn't realise at the time that I was lactose intolerant, so any meals with cheese often left me not wanting to eat or just to have toast!

In current days, once I turn the heat on for winter, I will have porridge (with water, not milk) every single morning. In the summer, it's a piece of fruit instead--whatever is on sale, not fussy on what fruit though. As a child it was the same bowl of cereal day in and out for months (no milk), because I knew it was safe.

I currently don't seek out protein meals, but as an adult Mon-Fri I have an egg and a salad with tuna or something similar. On days when I'm in the office and lunch is provided for a meeting and I have a cheese sandwich I feel awful for the rest of the day.

Now that you know protein is a trigger point, I'd be tempted to make some high protein meals to see what happens. It may be that 'traditional' carb food doesn't do your teen any favours and he may not want to mention the reason (after effects) to you directly.

If you do a high-protein meal for the family, perhaps centred around an egg recipe and he still does not partake, then I'd question further. But if you do some kind of noodle stir fry with egg thrown in, maybe he'll be interested?

Savvy_Sue

restless6 wrote: »

Thing is if you enable Her now , what sort if adult will you make of her ? How will she cope if she doesn't get her way ?
You can do this while she lives at home but in the longer term you will probably be making things harder for her as she might not know how to function unless she gets what she wants !!

I had a similarly fussy eater. He went off to Uni and now eats all kinds of things I'd never have predicted.

And I also tended to prepare food which I knew everyone would eat. I tend not to eat things I don't like, DH tends not to eat things he doesn't like - why would we inflict disliked food on children? Yes, make them try it, but after a good try, if it's still not liked, it's not liked!

BTW, better that he throws food he won't eat in into the bin. Mine once put pizza in the washing machine. It doesn't dissolve, you know!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

My mother thought I was a fussy eater. The truth was that she liked carbs, creamy sauces, fatty meat and more carbs (but no salt), whereas I liked vegetables, salad, lean meat, fresh fish and the occasional noodle meal. To the OH, I'm probably a fussy eater - but I don't want to eat a stale sausage roll heated in the microwave with a dollop of pickle for dinner or a bowl of meaty pasta covered in a gloopy sauce; it has an unpleasant texture, leaves a greasy feeling in my mouth and I'm asleep from carb overload within half an hour, then ravenously hungry again.



Most of what you list is very high carb - potatoes, pasta, dumplings, pastry, Yorkshires. But what he does like - chicken (without bones - ie, breast meat?), pizza (cheese), pot noodles (soya), eggs and takeaway (like burgers, shish kebabs, etc) sounds more protein based.

At his age, he's putting on a large amount of growth and muscle mass - it takes a lot of protein to build that and teenagers, particularly boys, are incredibly hungry when fed the carb laden stuff doled out in schools and most homes; I certainly wouldn't eat the low nutrient/high carb stuff at school by choice.


Rather than the expensive pot noodles, I'd suggest the packets of noodles (not supernoodles) that cost about 30p a packet, higher quality protein and leaving it to him to cook it. He'll either put the effort in or not - he's not refusing to eat everything, he won't starve to death.

Maysie

I was a so called fussy eater. When I was 8-9 my dad tied me to the chair at the table and tried to force feed me. Then he left me there for hours. That mince and boiled potato just congealed and looked worse every minute. I still remember how salty and cheap and nasty it all was. It was disgusting. My throat would tighten and I could not swallow food I didn't like. A friend came round and she was never fed home cooked she ate and licked the plate clean for me. I have never eaten it since.

I was limited by what I could eat it was to do with textures mainly. If the texture was wrong that was it was to stressful. I have always had a keen sense of smell and still do and it had to smell right. I think it was all a sensory overload sometimes. Added in with a controlling father it was not good.

When I had my daughter I wanted to eat better for her and show her a healthy way to eat. She is pretty much the same as I was but I don't force it. I just ask her to try something before totally rejecting it. She is slightly better and 18 now. My boy eats everything and he was brought up the same. My youngest is already showing signs of only wanting a few things. Nothing mixed up or with a sauce. I had to buy a special plate to keep it separate. We are chilled about it.

I like to cook Spaghetti Bolognese which the eldest loves. I use a chopper to add in red onion and a large carrot so its invisible. Its tempting to add in more but its harder to hide the taste so I stick at that. She likes spaghetti. I don't really like the stuffed feeling so I usually have mine on slices of home-made garlic bread instead.

I eat so many vegetables now people are shocked as it was a family legend how I would not eat "good food" and used to let it all go to waste. I used to say I would not eat it. So it was not my fault if they were to stupid to listen.

I have to agree with another poster about cooking as well as my family used to over salt everything and overcook it too. I would rather eat vegetables undercooked than over and never use salt. My roast as a kid was meat, roast tatoes and yorkshire pudding. I went off gravy and would only have mint sauce. These days the plate is full.

Itsu have started doing noodle pots they are lovely they are made with a paste so taste great. Portion is too small though. They suggest you add any vegetables you like and meat with them. The spices seem so fresh compared with other brands and the noodes are glass ones. They are way more pricey than pot noodles. I recently bought the Itsu cookbook (Amazon was cheapest) and will be trying to make them from scratch myself.

After all that my advice is try not to worry. Its probably part control part sensory. When that anxiety sets in you just cannot try new things. Try and get the anxiety down and he may relax to try something new. That is certainly what happened to me. Good luck for the future and I hope he accepts more foods in the future.

carmina_piranha

We saw a dietician with my eldest when he was a toddler, and she said that he was too anxious around food, and that if it stopped being a battle ground he would relax and try new things in his own time. She was right.

'Eat what you're given' generally means 'eat what I prefer to eat'. My tastes differ wildly from those of my eldest. Last night my youngest and I went to the chip shop for our meal, while eldest and my husband had a cucumber sandwich!

carmina_piranha

Primrose wrote: »

I wonder if you arn't simply condoning his behaviour by allowing yiurself to be manipulated . Stop buying pot noodles etc and serve only one meal for the whole family. If he's gets hungry enough he will eventually have to est something . Have you thought you're encouraging your son to become a social pariah when eating out in company when he's older with all these dislikes and fussy habits and he will drive any future wife totally nuts.

If after three days he,s still refusing to eat more normal food sit him dow and tell him you're taking him to the GP to be referred for some therapy. And follow theough with it. I reckon the fear of this becoming known to his peers will soon persuade him to be a little more adventurous in his esting jabit s.

And get him to start learning to cook some meals for himself too. and force hi to eat his failures too. He may well find then it's easier to eat what you cook than to do it himself.

I don't like the idea of shame being associated with therapy.

GoldenShadow

ttoli wrote: »

Perhaps I'm getting old but if I didn't eat what was put in front of me at that age , I didn't eat , He's playing you and getting the reaction he wants ie He is in control.

Hope it works out

If I didn't eat what was in front of me I was made to sit up until gone midnight in the hope I would cave. I never did. Now I'm 23 and find it incredibly hard to go out for meals and eat in front of people I don't feel very comfortable around. Oh, and I still don't really like veg...

Mojisola

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

And I also tended to prepare food which I knew everyone would eat.

I tend not to eat things I don't like, DH tends not to eat things he doesn't like - why would we inflict disliked food on children? Yes, make them try it, but after a good try, if it's still not liked, it's not liked!

Got to agree with this.

There are some adults who will eat anything put in front of them but most of us have a few things we don't like eating.

missbiggles1

Mojisola wrote: »

Got to agree with this.

There are some adults who will eat anything put in front of them but most of us have a few things we don't like eating.

I think it's the concept of "a few things" that's important.

A friend with older children suggested to me that everybody should be allowed 3 things that they wouldn't eat and that wouldn't be cooked for them. Then, if they went off something, one of the other things would be added into the meal plans.

We operated on that system and it worked very well - nobody had to eat something they really disliked but it made everybody really think about whether the strongly disliked something or whether they were just off it for a bit.

FBaby

Like others have said, you need to respect that he might really not like certain foods and that's fine. However, that doesn't mean all he gets to eat is rewarding takeaways. If because of his fussiness he is left with eating the same thing every day, then so be it. He might decide to try something different himself if he gets bored. If he doesn't, then that's his choice.