15 year old fussy eater

shopaholicz

Hi everyone,

I'm struggling with a really, really fussy 15 year old.

I now have a list of what he won't eat, including potatoes, rice, most pastas, any vegetables, salad, fruit, yorkshire puddings, dumplings, pastry, chicken curry, any hot curries or food, any meat with bones, fish, sandwiches, Sunday lunch, lasagna.

The only things he'll eat at the minute are pizza, fried chicken, pot noodles, eggs, takeaways. Breakfast is always Shreddies and milk, nothing different.

I've still been cooking the same for him as the rest of the family, but then he throws it in the bin, so it's a bit of a waste of time really.

He's getting way more fussy than he's ever been before.

How would you handle it?
Can you suggest different foods I could try?

Mojisola

At 15, I'd be getting him to work out recipes that he will eat and then cook them for himself.

restless6

Hips does he get those foods then ? Are you buying them for him ?
I would stop providing separate foods to start with.

Then try and find out what his issues are . Food problems are normally a sign of something deeper going on. Can you send him to therapy ?

KiKi

With that list, I think you need to look at why this is happening. Is he 'fussy', or does he genuinely not like the food?

If he just 'wants' pizza (and knows that he'll get it if he throws his dinner away) then that's not acceptable, IMO. However, if he genuinely, truly doesn't like those foods that's different.

However, that's SUCH a long list of foods, and I'd be concerned that there's an underlying issue here, esp as he only wants takeaway food, high in fat that will do his body a lot of damage in the long term. The fact that he only eats shreddies with milk every day for breakfast and never varies could also suggest that he's a creature of habit, perhaps with some controlling 'requires order and consistency' tendencies. (I know, I'm like that, too - I eat the same things every day, but at least there are lots of veggies and fruit involved!)

What happens if he throws dinner away? Does he get the food he wants instead?

Regardless, I would take him to the doctor. He's either playing you (in which case hopefully that'll give him a shove to get his act together) or there's an issue that needs discussion, and if he *doesn't* get what he wants when he throws his dinner away, I'd lean towards the latter.

(Also - and this is me projecting my personal preferences here! - I wouldn't call him a fussy eater to his face. 'Fussy' implies you choose to be difficult, and if this is a deeper issue, telling him that he has a choice when he psychologically feels he doesn't might not be helping. People sometimes refer to me as fussy - but I'm not. I have an extremely sensitive sense of taste and smell, and I truly do not like strong flavours, at all. I don't think I'm 'fussy' - I genuinely don't like certain foods.)

Indie_Kid

The OP has pretty much described me, (although, I will eat some spicy foods and some fruit and veg) but I've had issues with food all my life.

I second Mojisola's suggestion of getting him to find some recipes to try.

ttoli

Perhaps I'm getting old but if I didn't eat what was put in front of me at that age , I didn't eat , He's playing you and getting the reaction he wants ie He is in control.

Hope it works out

shopaholicz

Thanks for the quick replies so far.

Things I forgot to put in original post......

• I've tried to get him to cook for himself, he tried it once!!!!
• I give him £5 for a takeaway with his friends on Saturdays.....so OK for tonight!!
• when he throws his dinner in the bin, he'll then get a pot noodle and eat half a loaf with it

I'm trying not to make a big fuss, but am really worried about lack of nutrients.

Also, they went back to school this week, and before the school holidays he was arguing with school lunch staff as they wouldn't let him pick the protein part from 3 school meals (as this meant other pupils had no protein part of their meal).

maman

Indie_Kid wrote: »

The OP has pretty much described me, (although, I will eat some spicy foods and some fruit and veg) but I've had issues with food all my life.

I second Mojisola's suggestion of getting him to find some recipes to try.

I think it depends whether you need an answer on a cookery or behavioural level.


The fact that he's throwing his food in the bin rather than trying it does sound like there's more going on than just a fussy eater although I'm loathe to start doing cod psychology. I know he's a teenager but what's his general behaviour like? Has he always been like this?

VfM4meplse

How many meals does he take with his school friends? None, I am guessing.

The reason I raise it is because when kids get together at mealtimes the food becomes secondary to the social activity, they just get on with it. I'm not sure how affordable it is, but school dinners might be a short term answer. Or use the influence of a friend who happens to like healthy packed lunches.

ttoli

shopaholicz wrote: »

Thanks for the quick replies so far.

Things I forgot to put in original post......

• I've tried to get him to cook for himself, he tried it once!!!!
• I give him £5 for a takeaway with his friends on Saturdays.....so OK for tonight!!
• when he throws his dinner in the bin, he'll then get a pot noodle and eat half a loaf with it

I'm trying not to make a big fuss, but am really worried about lack of nutrients.

Also, they went back to school this week, and before the school holidays he was arguing with school lunch staff as they wouldn't let him pick the protein part from 3 school meals (as this meant other pupils had no protein part of their meal).

Stop buying pot noodles ? If he has no alternative maybe he'll at least try the cooked dinner rather than go hungry ?

shopaholicz

Maman,

He generally doesn't like to be told what to do, so I give choices where I can.

To start with I think I'll talk to him later today and try and persuade him to cook tomorrow.

I hate wasting food and am not prepared to get it thrown in the bin every day, if I can possibly help it. I am also not going to cook separate meals for him, so need to find an answer pretty soon.


restless6, Kiki
The suggestion of therapy is interesting. I hadn't thought of that. To be honest, I've been going down the road of he's not allergic so should be eating what he's given, but maybe there is an underlying issue that I need to deal with.

VfM4meplse,

we already do school lunches as he won't eat sandwiches, pasta, rice and I don't know what else to send in a packed lunch that isn't on his "won't eat" list.

And I give him money to eat out with his friends on Saturdays as this is the only night I know he'll eat all his tea.