Daily drag of chores and routine

SmlSave

I too have a DD - same age - who wakes at 5am most mornings and I've read the advice about putting her to bed later so she gets up earlier.....i would say it's worth a try but I'm afraid that it in no way worked for us sob. The wake up just stayed the same while DD was horrible and sleep deprived. My DS started sleeping till 6am around 3yrs old so just another 18 months to go - I hope!

Do try and get some time to yourself, drinks with friends, trip to the cinema etc. DH and I take turns going to the pub for a drink every so often and DH takes the kids out Sunday morning so the house gets a good clean.

We do online shopping too and while tesco is fairly expensive on some things overall the convenience factor wins out. My time is certainly more costly than groceries, plus I hate shopping with the kids!

Some days the endless tidying, cooking and laundering just gets you down

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

GaleSF63 wrote: »

I would put the washing machine on when you get up. There's a good chance it won't disturb the sleepers if it's on the floor below or they'll get used to it like you get used to traffic noise. If it does keep disturbing them you can give up that idea but it won't do them any harm to wake early for a couple of days.

Me, too - and we lived in a tiny flat at the time; by the point it went to spin, it was just before they were due to wake up anyway. This could be a subtle way of encouraging your DH to shift his waking up time back half an hour, little ones quickly adapt to helping load the machine and it means at least one of them will grow up knowing how to sort colours and operate the thing (even if the others manage to sleep through it).

Now we've got a house, the machine will go on at any time of the day or night, depending on whoever is up and in the mood to load it - considering it's an open plan living room and the doors aren't particularly thick, everybody sleeps through it even though it's 15 years old and sounds like a JCB in a giant cement mixer when it spins.



Ocado was brilliant, too - I would get the delivery in the evening because I hate early mornings, but, again, the kids would help put the non breakable things away, particularly when I became a single parent and there was nobody to give me even five minutes' break - I got them into a routine where, as soon as we got home from the childminder, the dishwasher would be done (with their help) and the vacuum cleaner would be pushed around, cats fed and only then would any of us sit down.

carmina_piranha

I'm following this thread for suggestions

The only suggestion I can think of is to make the lunches during your morning instead of at night, to give you a little extra time for yourself in the evening.

We do the taking it in turns to have a lie-in, but to be honest when he gets up after his lie-in he usually finds us all in our pyjamas watching cartoons, whereas when I have a lie-in I wake to find he's done the shopping, cleaned the rabbit hutch, done homework with the children, washed up and re-organised the kitchen! And I sleep through it. This is partly because I'm not a morning person, but also because he works late so often so he's the most tired that it's usually him having a lie-in on a Saturday when I'm in lazy mode because there's still a whole weekend to get stuff done, then I sleep in on Sunday where it's the day to realise you were lazy on Saturday and everything needs doing.

It's mostly because we are such different people in the morning though, I'd rather have a lazy morning and do all the stuff in the afternoon, whereas he wants to get stuff done before he feels he can relax.

Kynthia

I have an 18 month old and understand how you feel about the tiredness and non-stop monotony of cleaning and entertaining a little one. We are lucky enough to be able to afford to be home 3 days a week between us to try and get most of the cleaning and tasks done. However the biggest thing I find that makes me feel better is having a social life. Try to arrange that you both get time for hobbies and friends as a night out with friends really does you good mentally. Make it a regular thing for both of you and don't feel guilty about it. Then try to go out just the two of you once every month or two. If you can't find a paid babysitter you trust then could you partner up with another couple friend where one month you go around and babysit their children one evening and then next month of of them comes around to babysit yours.

BigAunty

Have you thought about just letting your house slide into squalor until your other half finally appreciates what you do? And just staying in bed no matter how much the kids kick off?

I recall a post on a similar thread where a poster stopped laundering and ironing her lazy husband's clothes and he didn't have that light bulb moment until he ran out of pants or shirts when he was going to work.

If you stop preparing meals, doing the laundry, emptying the bin and doing the shopping, surely at some point, the partner gets the hint?

What do you think might happen when they come to the empty dinner table only to find you announcing that you are off to a fitness class, night out with the girls or an evening class and could he sort out food and bedtime for the kids?

You sling a bag over your shoulder, say 'I shouldn't be back later than 11, don't wait up' and kiss the kids goodbye. Reality check.

Spendless

thriftylass wrote: »

DH is meant to get the kids on Sat mornings. I'm usually up and showered by half 8 anyway as I can't sleep longer, so when I go down ready to do stuff as a family, he goes to bed again :mad: as he admits he is rubbish at early mornings. (That's usually the time I do the weekly shop). But I think I should make him more aware of the fact that this totally defeats the purpose of my "lie-in" or just force myself to stay in bed and read or sth. We'll be on holiday all of next week, we'll see how the split works then.....

I used to have similar with my DH. Saturdays were meant to be his lie-in and Sundays mine. So DH got his lie-in on Saturday but then on Sunday he'd say he'd 'get round' to getting up once the kids were awake but would prolong it so much I'd be wide awake, unable to get back off to sleep and get up at which point DH would nod back off! Eventually I told him I was swapping the line ins round and if he didn't get up on my Saturday, I would be taking Sunday too.

I do also remember that from time to time if I'd felt I'd been doing a lot without help, I would plan some time for me and go out for a few hours.

thriftylass

Spendless wrote: »

I used to have similar with my DH. Saturdays were meant to be his lie-in and Sundays mine. So DH got his lie-in on Saturday but then on Sunday he'd say he'd 'get round' to getting up once the kids were awake but would prolong it so much I'd be wide awake, unable to get back off to sleep and get up at which point DH would nod back off! Eventually I told him I was swapping the line ins round and if he didn't get up on my Saturday, I would be taking Sunday too.

I do also remember that from time to time if I'd felt I'd been doing a lot without help, I would plan some time for me and go out for a few hours.

So sounds like us. I would jump out of bed as the kids make the first noise and try not to wake him in the process. Get ready downstairs etc. On a Saturday when it's his turn and DD wakes up he brings her through to the big bed. Either to get another 5 min snooze or cuddle, then says I need to got to the loo and get dressed. Well, how does he think I do that? - with the kids. And of course then I'm wide awake and when I'm coming downstair, he asked what are you doing up :mad:

Gave him a lie-in this morning as worked late last night and is off today. Both kids were up at 6 so we just left a bit early on the bus. Will definitely get my lie-in tomorrow and none of that business described above.

thriftylass

BigAunty wrote: »

Have you thought about just letting your house slide into squalor until your other half finally appreciates what you do? And just staying in bed no matter how much the kids kick off?

I recall a post on a similar thread where a poster stopped laundering and ironing her lazy husband's clothes and he didn't have that light bulb moment until he ran out of pants or shirts when he was going to work.

Don't think I could live with that even for a couple of days . I think I try the approach just to ask him more/tell him what to do. He knows and appreciates what I do judging by his comments now and then, but I think I let him get too comfortable not helping. Bless, him he still asks occasionally if he can do sth. Just need to say "yes" rather than "no"