Daily drag of chores and routine

pinkteapot

Thank you for this comment, don't feel so bad now. Totally agree, he just doesn't see certain things or then makes silly comments like, the bin is a bit smelly. We'll I pointed out he could take it out then.

Sounds like mine. :rotfl: "The dishwasher's finished." "That's nice dear - why don't you empty it then." Delegating more actually heads off moments like this that can come out a bit snarky if you're not careful (when you're tired and fed up of the grind).

DH does make me laugh in one way. If he does a chore, I'll always say thank you and he tells me I don't have to thank him. If I don't notice that he's done something, or don't comment, he'll say "I tidied up the garage". What's that if it's not angling for a "thank you"? :rotfl:

From your replies, your DD is just slightly too young for a lot of the suggestions but that's OK. You know she'll be old enough in 6-12 months so there's a finite time of life being like this. When they're both at secondary school and out with their mates all the time, you'll probably miss them.

I went through a phase a few months back of feeling frustrated with life, and that time was just passing and I wasn't doing what I wanted. I had to look critically at how I used my time and work out where I could change things to make it feel like I was using it more productively.

One thing I forgot - do you get a lunch break at work? I've become a zealot about actually taking mine (barring odd days where meetings make it impossible). I go for a run two lunchtimes a week, am a member of a crafting group that meets on a Friday lunchtime, and read the other two lunchtimes. I used to work through lunch most days but taking a proper break at lunch actually makes me much more productive at work in the afternoon, and I get an hour a day to do my own thing.

pinkteapot

p.s. Can one of you do the big shop either early one morning, or one evening, alone? Doing it at the weekend takes a chunk of time out. I do my Tesco shop at 6am on a Friday! The shop's deserted and I can get round really fast and do the weekly shop before work (I go with a list and whip round grabbing what I need - not browsing much). If you do it at a weekend, it somehow feels like it takes up half a day. Going with the kids (if you do) certainly slows things down!

thriftylass

pinkteapot wrote: »

Sounds like mine. :rotfl: "The dishwasher's finished." "That's nice dear - why don't you empty it then." Delegating more actually heads off moments like this that can come out a bit snarky if you're not careful (when you're tired and fed up of the grind).

DH does make me laugh in one way. If he does a chore, I'll always say thank you and he tells me I don't have to thank him. If I don't notice that he's done something, or don't comment, he'll say "I tidied up the garage". What's that if it's not angling for a "thank you"? :rotfl:

From your replies, your DD is just slightly too young for a lot of the suggestions but that's OK. You know she'll be old enough in 6-12 months so there's a finite time of life being like this. When they're both at secondary school and out with their mates all the time, you'll probably miss them.

I went through a phase a few months back of feeling frustrated with life, and that time was just passing and I wasn't doing what I wanted. I had to look critically at how I used my time and work out where I could change things to make it feel like I was using it more productively.

One thing I forgot - do you get a lunch break at work? I've become a zealot about actually taking mine (barring odd days where meetings make it impossible). I go for a run two lunchtimes a week, am a member of a crafting group that meets on a Friday lunchtime, and read the other two lunchtimes. I used to work through lunch most days but taking a proper break at lunch actually makes me much more productive at work in the afternoon, and I get an hour a day to do my own thing.

Thank you. Feel a lot better now. Had to chuckle there too. Men, eh.

Yes I take my lunchbreaks now especially as I signed up for a trialthlon three months ago (it's this Sun :eek:) and I've been out running, swimming or cycling every lunch. Real mood booster.

thriftylass

pinkteapot wrote: »

p.s. Can one of you do the big shop either early one morning, or one evening, alone? Doing it at the weekend takes a chunk of time out. I do my Tesco shop at 6am on a Friday! The shop's deserted and I can get round really fast and do the weekly shop before work (I go with a list and whip round grabbing what I need - not browsing much). If you do it at a weekend, it somehow feels like it takes up half a day. Going with the kids (if you do) certainly slows things down!

I do the grocery shopping (otherwise the monthly bill would be £500 rather than £250-300). I always have a list but I like to go to Aldi or LIDL as they are cheaper but don't open till 8 and close at 8. I don't mind taking the kids as they are really good in the shop, rarely want anything or just take things. I usually do it in the morning right after 8 when it's still to early to do other stuff etc.

pinkteapot

Good luck with the triathlon! I run a few times a week and cycle to work, but I'm not a swimmer.

thriftylass

Reading back it all seems like when I grew up. Mum always would be doing chores till 8 or 9 and dad would hardly do anything (they both worked FT). Maybe that's where I "learnt' it subconsciously. Now he chips in that they're both retired and do almost equal shares.

I think I start with using the morning hours more productively incorporating DD (she likes wiping so she can help me dust , and starting to ask DH small things like to take the bins out or the recycling or to do the cat litter. I should also now that winter is upon us reintroduce more slow cooker meals which reduce the time spend cooking at night and I will have one pamper bath night every week or two.

I think I just needed a little kick up the backside and the obvious pointed out to change things. Thank you all

belfastgirl23

With DH a good way to work is 'can you do x while I do z' - as in 'I'll empty the washing machine if you do the dishwasher and then we can have a sit down'. He hates doing things if I'm sitting down but the idea of getting everything done in half the time appeals to him somehow

Would you think of online shopping? You could quite easily 'do' it early in the morning and get it delivered at your convenience. I know some people feel odd about ordering fruit and veg but apart from the odd avocado or banana that needs to ripen it's been fine for me.

The other thing I've seen other people do is institute 'daddy and baby' activities - like daddy takes them swimming one evening a week, or to the park or whatever. What seems to help my female friends is the idea that when they are around dad mostly takes second place and it's good for the kids to look to him a bit too - as well as good for him. Are there any possible 'daddy and kids' activities that they could do one evening a week? That would give you a bit of a break.

Good luck with the triathlon, that sounds amazing!

edited to add one last thought: Perhaps it's worth sitting down with your DH and coming up with a list of things you'd really like to do with the kids - some might be small, eg visit the local zoo while others might be big. And then try to schedule one a month or something. Gives you something to look forward to and these are the things that while you might feel hassled before you do them, in the end often bring you joy.

creased-leach

Prepping a slow cooker meal in the morning could work really well with your eating preferences. You could cook something that could be dished up early as a 'stew' for the kids- and at that point whack in some spices for the grown ups to eat later.

Brighton_belle

Sorry, off topic but..

thriftylass wrote: »

now that winter is upon us...

Nooooooooooo! We have 3 months of glorious autumn to live through yet - that's a whole quarter of a year.

GaleSF63

I would put the washing machine on when you get up. There's a good chance it won't disturb the sleepers if it's on the floor below or they'll get used to it like you get used to traffic noise. If it does keep disturbing them you can give up that idea but it won't do them any harm to wake early for a couple of days.