Unwanted Houseguest removal

Frogletina

This thread has moved me to action. I've just emptied a chest of drawers and a wardrobe of things left here by my house guest of 6 months. I now have about 8 bags of her possessions.

I'm exhausted now, and the cleaning of the room will have to wait a little longer.

She had to move out back to her dad's house when I was on holiday and I have expected her to contact me to ask if she can move back in - but the answer will be no. It's been nearly 3 months now so she must have resolved her problems with her dad or at least have learned to live with them.

Next step is to ask her to come and collect her things and her post which she has not bothered to come and get.

DRP

pixie5740 wrote: »

crack open the champagne!

..and change the lock barrel!!!

[Deleted User]

Very glad to hear it and yes, change the lock barrel. ASAP.

I've gotten into trouble in the past by 'helping' people and being taken for a mug. I did learn and now, I'll advise.., but if people don't seem prepared to help themselves, I back off. No point. I certainly don't lose money because of this habit anymore.

I know its awful to generalise, but I have found that people who get themselves into trouble often seem to make a habit out of it and there's always mugs around!

stardust09

I'm so sorry to hear about your terrible house guest (not a friend!!! Friends wouldn't treat you like that). I've also been a kind-hearted mug in the past but have learnt from mistakes and am much better at setting boundaries now.

I did notice that you also fall into the trap of justifying your decisions. Hey, no need! If you know your own mind and are dealing with an unreasonable person, just keep it clear, short and straightforward - you don't have to justify yourself to anyone. I still have a terrible habit of doing that sometimes when someone else is making me feel unreasonable when actually I know deep down I'm entitled to hold my view.

I'd also recommend googling the 'broken record technique, assertiveness' as it's very helpful at dealing with parasites and awkward people.

Always set boundaries at the start of any agreement and enforce them fairly. That way, everyone knows where they stand and there's no difference of opinion later.

I hope you enjoy having your own space again and have positive experiences with Airbnb.

emmita

Hi, I have complete sympathy for your situation.

You have no contract, can you not change the locks and either keep her stuff if it's worth anything or dispose of it.

Guest101

emmita wrote: »

Hi, I have complete sympathy for your situation.

You have no contract, can you not change the locks and either keep her stuff if it's worth anything or dispose of it.

Not according to the law.

melanzana

Oh what a story, and I am so glad it worked out for you OP.

Two years ago a male friend split up from his wife who is also a friend. On the day it happened, he called here around 11 oclock at night in bits, and asked could I put him up for the night as he had nowhere else to go. Naturally I was shocked and sorry for them both. Awful.

I made tea, served biscuits, talked to him.

but I said NO. Sorry XXX I cannot get involved. If I put you up I will be seen as supporting you rather than Y (wife), so I am not getting involved.

I gently asked him why he could not go to his mother's house (five minutes away) a widow with a three bed house and no one else home!

He said his mother would give him grief and he couldn't handle that.

Sorry I said, she is going to find out anyway, so you better get around there now.

As it turned out, he did go to mother, stayed for a few weeks and now the happy couple have reunited.

Instinct is a great judge lol.