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Unwanted Houseguest removal
Robochick
Posts: 27 Forumite
Long story but a 'friend' - not a particularly close one, but one that I got on very well with - left her husband at the end of January this year.
I said (foolishly) "you can stay as long as you need"... not thinking she would still be here 7 months later and still not paying rent. Did I mention she had been unemployed for nearly a year at that point? I didn't put a time limit or restrictions... my bad.
In that time she has occasionally done a online grocery shop (around £50 once every ten days to two weeks), but has not contributed towards anything else. She's is a total parasite, getting other people to pay for her when out etc.
Anyway, she finally started working at the end of June/beginning of July, so on 11th August, I gave her an email breakdown of what I though was a fair rental amount, including all bills and a cost for a cleaner to come once a week (a cleaner we got at the beginning of July because she refused to do any housework whatsoever, and I eventually go fed up with it, so she said "Let's get a cleaner when I start working).
She completely ignored the email, didn't come home for 3 days and then avoided me by skulking in her bedroom until I wasnt around, and then making a 'break for freedom'. I eventually sent her a text basically saying "you can't keep ignoring this" so on the Sunday 16th we finally spoke about it but by that stage I was so peeved with her parasitic behaviour that I decided i didnt want her as a permanent flat mate so I very nicely told her that she had to move out.
She asked for "a couple of weeks" to sort herself out, I said "of course" (did not set specific date though).
She has repeatedly promised to "give me money for August" but nothing has transpired. She immediately left that Sunday night to go back to her (not quite yet ex) husband's place where she stayed the night, then texted the next day to say she would be house-sitting there... no idea why s he doesn't have small humans or pets.
For the last week I've been asking for her keys back as I had a medical emergency last week and I want her keys to give to a friend with a car who is ten minutes from me and can get me to A&E in the middle of the night if he needs to. She has repeatedly failed to do so but comes around here during the day when I'm not at work to get stuff. She did so again yesterday and when I texted her asking why she ahdn't dropped off the keys, she said she still needed them before the weekend.
I'm furious, and i want to know whether I can legally either change my locks or stop her from accessing my house from now on. I want to send her this as an email and tex but would like someone to give it the once over, and check I'm legally allowed to do this (I'm the sole mortgage payer, this isn't a rental situation):
XXXXX
I’m extremely disappointed at your persistently ignorant and rude behaviour in ignoring my several requests to return my keys, and your avoidance of replying to my text yesterday afternoon (behaviour you’ve repeatedly exhibited in the past when you wish to avoid dealing with a topic or “adulting” as you refer to it).
You ignored the email I sent you on 11th August regarding contribution towards household expenses for nearly a week, as well as avoiding me & subsequently ignoring my text on the Saturday 15th August. Your attitude has resulted in the fact that when we finally did have a conversation on Sunday evening 16th August, I politely told you that you would have to move out & find somewhere else to live as I did not wish you to continue living here. You requested “a couple of weeks” to which I agreed. That two weeks is up on Sunday 30th August.
I have asked you for the keys last Friday 21st, this Tuesday 25th evening, and yesterday afternoon as you are not residing here. You have repeatedly ignored this request, despite the extremely valid medical reasons I have given - and yet you have returned to the flat immediately after both text requests when you believed me not to be present, but did not leave the keys as requested.
I find your ignoring of this request utterly astonishing, given my current medical condition. A week after first asking I still do not have my keys.
You are required to return my keys immediately – today, Thursday 25th August 2015 – by placing them through the letterbox.
I require all of your belongings, including your wardrobe and bed, to be removed from my home by Sunday 30th August 2015 – exactly the two weeks you requested - and bringing your seven months as an unpaying house-guest to a close. You or your representative can make arrangements with me or my representative to have supervised access to remove your belongings.
Further correspondence between us is to take place via text and/or email so that there is a record of such.
Robochick
I said (foolishly) "you can stay as long as you need"... not thinking she would still be here 7 months later and still not paying rent. Did I mention she had been unemployed for nearly a year at that point? I didn't put a time limit or restrictions... my bad.
In that time she has occasionally done a online grocery shop (around £50 once every ten days to two weeks), but has not contributed towards anything else. She's is a total parasite, getting other people to pay for her when out etc.
Anyway, she finally started working at the end of June/beginning of July, so on 11th August, I gave her an email breakdown of what I though was a fair rental amount, including all bills and a cost for a cleaner to come once a week (a cleaner we got at the beginning of July because she refused to do any housework whatsoever, and I eventually go fed up with it, so she said "Let's get a cleaner when I start working).
She completely ignored the email, didn't come home for 3 days and then avoided me by skulking in her bedroom until I wasnt around, and then making a 'break for freedom'. I eventually sent her a text basically saying "you can't keep ignoring this" so on the Sunday 16th we finally spoke about it but by that stage I was so peeved with her parasitic behaviour that I decided i didnt want her as a permanent flat mate so I very nicely told her that she had to move out.
She asked for "a couple of weeks" to sort herself out, I said "of course" (did not set specific date though).
She has repeatedly promised to "give me money for August" but nothing has transpired. She immediately left that Sunday night to go back to her (not quite yet ex) husband's place where she stayed the night, then texted the next day to say she would be house-sitting there... no idea why s he doesn't have small humans or pets.
For the last week I've been asking for her keys back as I had a medical emergency last week and I want her keys to give to a friend with a car who is ten minutes from me and can get me to A&E in the middle of the night if he needs to. She has repeatedly failed to do so but comes around here during the day when I'm not at work to get stuff. She did so again yesterday and when I texted her asking why she ahdn't dropped off the keys, she said she still needed them before the weekend.
I'm furious, and i want to know whether I can legally either change my locks or stop her from accessing my house from now on. I want to send her this as an email and tex but would like someone to give it the once over, and check I'm legally allowed to do this (I'm the sole mortgage payer, this isn't a rental situation):
XXXXX
I’m extremely disappointed at your persistently ignorant and rude behaviour in ignoring my several requests to return my keys, and your avoidance of replying to my text yesterday afternoon (behaviour you’ve repeatedly exhibited in the past when you wish to avoid dealing with a topic or “adulting” as you refer to it).
You ignored the email I sent you on 11th August regarding contribution towards household expenses for nearly a week, as well as avoiding me & subsequently ignoring my text on the Saturday 15th August. Your attitude has resulted in the fact that when we finally did have a conversation on Sunday evening 16th August, I politely told you that you would have to move out & find somewhere else to live as I did not wish you to continue living here. You requested “a couple of weeks” to which I agreed. That two weeks is up on Sunday 30th August.
I have asked you for the keys last Friday 21st, this Tuesday 25th evening, and yesterday afternoon as you are not residing here. You have repeatedly ignored this request, despite the extremely valid medical reasons I have given - and yet you have returned to the flat immediately after both text requests when you believed me not to be present, but did not leave the keys as requested.
I find your ignoring of this request utterly astonishing, given my current medical condition. A week after first asking I still do not have my keys.
You are required to return my keys immediately – today, Thursday 25th August 2015 – by placing them through the letterbox.
I require all of your belongings, including your wardrobe and bed, to be removed from my home by Sunday 30th August 2015 – exactly the two weeks you requested - and bringing your seven months as an unpaying house-guest to a close. You or your representative can make arrangements with me or my representative to have supervised access to remove your belongings.
Further correspondence between us is to take place via text and/or email so that there is a record of such.
Robochick
0
Comments
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advice would be gratefully received... I'm at the end of my tether, and my stress levels are through the roof.0
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Thats a very long and emotional email.
Why not just say this -
Hi,
I have had to arrange for my locks to be changed. This is happening sometime in the next seven days. Any of your belongings that remain in my property after this will be retained until you arrange a date to collect. After six months I will treat them as abandoned and dispose of them.
Thanks.
Robochick0 -
^^^ Exactly what I was going to say. Remove the emotion. No need for stress, its done, they're going, you're free!0
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Thats a very long and emotional email.
Why not just say this -
Hi,
I have had to arrange for my locks to be changed. This is happening sometime in the next seven days. Any of your belongings that remain in my property after this will be retained until you arrange a date to collect. After six months I will treat them as abandoned and dispose of them.
Thanks.
Robochick
I get what you're saying but i want her stuff out. That's the most critical thing right now.
She moved all of her stuff - wardrobes, be etc, from her husbands into my spare room without asking, and I can't do anything with the room while her stuff is in it. i need it gone.
I was meant to be airbnbing that room, so it could help with my mortgage as there's only me since my partner and split up (and he owes me thousands). So ive had no income on that room for 7 months, and still can't with her stuff there. It's an utter pigsty :-(0 -
I wouldn't bother with such a long winded email. It's your home, you don't need to justify to this !!!!!!!!!! why you want her to leave. Don't get emotional about it just remind her that she needs to leave by Sunday and return your keys as previously agreed. If she doesn't then on Sunday evening just change the barrels in the locks (it's pretty straightforward).
She sounds like an A-hole that you don't need or want in your life so get tough. Take your home back!0 -
And I dont want her coming into my home while Im not there.
Can I change my locks today?0 -
1) talk to her. Why don't people talk....?
2) give a final warning and deadline eg next friday (weekends are good for moving)
3) on friday, if she's gone, change the locks
4) on friday, if she's not gone, change the locks (preferably while se's out) . If she's not gone, tll her you'll box things up and she can collect at x'oclock on Saturday
She has no statutory rights. You've given her notice. Evict. Have a (different, trusted) friend present.
Write off the costs to experience and move on.
5) uncollected belongings, put into storage. Tell her she can collect them on payment of the removal & storage fees you've incurred0 -
Apparently f r e e l o a d e r is a banned word on MSE.0
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I would Defo change the locks anyway - you don't want her getting hers copied then coming back when you are out.
I agree with a simple email - tell her the locks have been changed and give her ONE appointment to come and collect the balance of her stuff. Have someone there with you when she comes. Check its all gone then forget about this awful leech
Stuck on the carousel in Disneyland's Fantasyland
I live under a bridge in England
Been a member for ten years.
Retired in 2015 ( ill health ) Actuary for legal services.0 -
1) talk to her. Why don't people talk....?
2) give a final warning and deadline eg next friday (weekends are good for moving)
3) on friday, if she's gone, change the locks
4) on friday, if she's not gone, change the locks (preferably while se's out) . If she's not gone, tll her you'll box things up and she can collect at x'oclock on Saturday
She has no statutory rights. You've given her notice. Evict. Have a (different, trusted) friend present.
Write off the costs to experience and move on.
Ive tried to talk to her. And I did two weeks ago.0
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