Unwanted Houseguest removal

summerholiday

How horrible for you and 4 more days to suffer - will she call in or not? At what time?

I would change the locks immediately, without telling her - she may have duplicated those she has in her possession.

In your position I would force the issue and strengthen my own position by putting her under pressure to take immediate action to remove all her belongings, food, personal care items.

As it is you have left yourself in a waiting game position and she knows how tolerant you are and will not be in a hurry.

You owe her nothing. In my experience it is always better to charge someone otherwise they value the item less. This appears to be the case here.

Do not trust her. Return all her post to sender - ensuring your address is not used in the future for credit/DVLA/bank accounts and the like.

fairy_lights

Robochick wrote: »

She phoned me about 60 seconds later... did the breathy little girl "but I don't understand" voice, and the "Oh but I'm out of London this weekend" etc.
Stood my ground / "Not my problem" etc.

So she can afford weekends away but can't afford to pay any rent? Cheeky mare!
Did she agree to collect her stuff in the end?

paddy's_mum

Robochick wrote: »

since my partner and split up (and he owes me thousands

In the nicest possible way and in a genuine effort to be helpful, I wonder if a course in assertiveness might benefit you and prevent such carppy things happening to you again and again as you go through life.

Out,_Vile_Jelly

I'm afraid kind-hearted and unconfrontational people are often taken advantage of. A normal person would have been grateful for a place to stay during a personal crisis and would have offered rent/bill money and taken you out for a thank you meal when they moved out.

She's a rubbish friend who will never return the favour, so no loss. Don't let her make you feel like you're the bad person in this situation!

Think carefully about Airbnb and read the small print before going down that road too.

Stevie_Palimo

I need a new house maid but only if she is good looking.

benjus

They could use this for a Money Moral Dilemma...

moneyistooshorttomention

I'm guessing that she is set on the Self Destructiveness Course. It never ceases to astonish me - but there are people who do seem to be.

Many of us have been brought up to be running a constant check in our minds as to whether we are "paying our way" and will be running that constant check as to whether what we want is reasonable and we are "paying" fairly for it.

Other people will just take what they can get and it doesn't seem to occur to them. I've had a houseguest I helped out before now and it was quite obvious (after only a week) that they seemed to be oblivious as to just how much I was helping them out and one of the tiny little things that "blew my gasket" was the fact that they had spilt something on themselves and were just casually flicking it onto my (pretty new/pretty decent quality/downright pale) carpet and clearly hoping I wouldn't realise/care. Newsflash was that I did notice and was sitting there thinking "But its pretty new/mid price range/pale/etc/etc and they don't give a monkeys uncle about all of that:eek:".

In the event - I had told them (within the week) that they would have to move out - and they did. I was quite clear that the House Equity money from their previous place (sold immediately prior to them moving in with me "temporarily") would possibly just get "blown" pretty quickly. I hadn't realised that initially. At the start - I had honestly thought they would hang onto that House Equity Money and pretty darn soon buy another house with it. They didn't. It took me literally days to realise they basically had a Game Plan that consisted of staying with Muggins (ie me) for free for however-long-they could manage and spending that House Equity Money however they thought they would whilst doing so.

What happened in the (not that distant) future was that they subsequently bummed around wherever/whenever they could and blew that House Equity Money totally and were left minus a home of their own - and gawdaloneknows what subsequently happened to them.

Some people ARE just self-destructive. This is the thing - ie to work out the difference between people who are genuinely "trying" and just need a temporary bit of help on the one hand and those who are self-destructive and will blow anything/everything they get (even if well up to or over Retirement Age).

7 months later - and I suspect you have a Self Destructer on your hands. Those of us who might occasionally need a bit of help to "get by" just wont ever understand the Self Destructers. I think that's what has happened here by the sound of it.

Youtellme as to just why there are people who are Self Destructers. All I've worked out to date is that there are people like that and I'm blowed if I could tell you why.

Robochick

paddy's_mum wrote: »

In the nicest possible way and in a genuine effort to be helpful, I wonder if a course in assertiveness might benefit you and prevent such carppy things happening to you again and again as you go through life.

No offence taken, and you're not the first person to have mentioned that.

In my ex's defence , he is paying me back on a regular basis after regaining employment after being made redundant for a long period of time, and he has maintained a scrupulous record of what he owes me, and we are very good friends and there are no issues there.


In regard to the original issue - UPDATE! She is gone, including her furniture. Completely exited the building!

A few bits and pieces remain, and she was apparently too lazy to put her empty bottles (beauty products etc) in the bathroom bin, or pick up rubbish but... she's gone as of yesterday evening!


thank you all for the sage advice, and the calming down.

Pixie5740

Crack open the champagne!

Robochick

Pixie5740 wrote: »

Crack open the champagne!

I had SUCH a bad hangover this morning...

urgh
but YAY.