Cancer Support Thread

candlelight_2013

bouicca, same here, routine mammogram, even the surgeon couldn't feel the lump.

In my ignorance I thought I wouldn't see the following Christmas. It was the last thing I thought of before I went to sleep, and the first thing when I woke up (which was usually in the wee small hours).

I am not complacent, I know this evil disease can rear it's ugly head when we are least expecting it, but I am very grateful for all the cancer free days I have.

Candlelightx

Miró

bouicca21 wrote: »

I'm one year further on than Candlelight, but otherwise pretty much ditto.

I remember how terrified I was when I got the diagnosis (as a result of routine screening - keep those appointments girls). I thought it was a death sentence and still think of myself as living on borrowed time.

Hi all

I am now 10 years on from a breast cancer diagnosis, (also found from a routine mammo, had no signs or symptoms). Had suspect area removed and a bit more for safety then radiotherapy. Sooo happy to say I have been 'no evidence of disease' since then. I feel very fortunate and privileged to have had an excellent surgeon and oncologist, (NHS too!). Just posting to let people know that this horrible disease is survivable for many.

Janey3

Thanks for the thread, gigervamp and I would like to share your journey and everyone elses too. Had breast cancer 18 years ago and then it recurred in the other breast two years this October. Both picked up on the mobile screening for which I'm so thankful for. Thinking of you all who are posting here.

jozxyqk

Thank you for starting this thread, and thank you to all the posters so far.

Cancer never seems far away from my family. 2 out of 4 grandparents died from it. My BIL too (he was only in his early thirties).

My mum had a lumpectomy earlier this summer after a routine mammogram showed a growth. The surgeon said the op was a success, but if they'd known how much cancer was actually there, they'd have done a mastectomy - but they managed to get the 2(?) mm clear space they needed.

Radiotherapy starts in September. She seems fine and upbeat but I know she's just being strong for the rest of us. It is good to hear some positive stories as it's so easy to assume the worst.

jozxyqk

AubreyMac wrote: »

Gigervamp, how do you want others to behave around you?

My 23 year old cousin has terminal cancer. I have not seen him in years, we were never close knit anyway. But I want to see him now as it could be the last time.

However, I feel a bit bad for wanting to see him now when I've not bothered in previous years. It feels a bit pretentious somehow.

If I imagine myself in his shoes, I would think 'didn't bother before then don't bother now' but it doesn't necessarily mean he feels that way though.

I'd be inclined to make contact - I understand your reticence but he'll probably be really touched to know you care.

candlelight_2013

jozxyqk, very best wishes to your Mum.

I started my radiotherapy about 2 months after my op. Once the planning has been done by the radiotherapy department she will have a list of dates and times to attend for treatment. The actual treatment is only minutes and is quite painless.

I was very lucky because our local hospital, where I had my op, had radiotherapy facilities, but I know there were patients there who had had to travel quite a long way and that makes for a long day. Your Mum will be told how to look after her breast during treatment.

You say she is putting on a brave face, well my love that's just what Mums do isn't it. My family were marvellous, and only once did I have a meltdown, otherwise my usual smiley face was there, and so was my lipstick. I feel human when I have lipstick and a little eye liner on.

Please give your Mum my very best wishes, I know it is a frightening time but you become friends with the radiographers and they are really kind.

Candlelightx

Gigervamp

AubreyMac wrote: »

Gigervamp, how do you want others to behave around you?

My 23 year old cousin has terminal cancer. I have not seen him in years, we were never close knit anyway. But I want to see him now as it could be the last time.

However, I feel a bit bad for wanting to see him now when I've not bothered in previous years. It feels a bit pretentious somehow.

If I imagine myself in his shoes, I would think 'didn't bother before then don't bother now' but it doesn't necessarily mean he feels that way though.

Eveybody is different. I'm quite a pragmatic person, so prefer that people treat me normally, but they can be as direct as they like. I don't want people pretending that the elephant isn't in the room, if you know what I mean!
I like to be asked how I'm doing, because if I don't get asked, I feel that the other person doesn't really care. I know that's not necessarily the case, because some find it hard to talk about cancer. My MIL never offered any help when I was diagnosed and going through the treatments because it felt too raw for her, having lost FIL to cancer just over a year previously.

I'm sorry to hear about your nephew. Do contact him, I bet he would love to hear from you.

Gigervamp

JadedAngel88 wrote: »

Hi Gigervamp

My 18 year old daughter was diagnosed last month with stage 2a Hodgkin's lymphoma, had her first chemo last Wednesday, going ok so far.

I was thinking of starting a new thread myself but was too scared.
Will be looking rather than posting so thanks for starting this thread.

JadedAngel

I can't imagine what it must be like for you, your daughter is so young. I hope her treatment goes well. If you don't want to post on the thread, but need to talk, feel free to pm me. x

Gigervamp

One of the things I've found odd, is my reaction to having cancer. Maybe it's my pragmatism, but I've never cried about having it. I never asked "why me?".

I'd been rushed into hospital with kidney failure and that's when it was found. (I was daft and hadn't been for a smear for years.) When they told me I had stage 3b cervical cancer my reaction was no different to what it would have been if they'd told me I'd broken a bone or something. I was like, "Ok, so what happens now?"

It wasn't denial. To me, it was a death sentence, because I had never known anybody survive cancer. Both my paternal grandparents, my dad, FIL, a neighbour...they all died because of it.
It's good to hear from those of you who have survived it. I know I won't, but your posts will give other people hope.

I told my oncologist that I had expected to get cancer at some point, due to the family connection, but had hoped it wouldn't be until I was older.

Having said all that, I have cried bucketloads due to other things connected to the cancer. My daughter has fallen out with me, I've had to deal with having a nephrostomy for months when it was supposed to be a temporary thing. I've suffered medical negligence, when they took out the wrong (working) stent instead of the blocked one, etc. (That's being dealt with.)
So, yeah, I've cried. But not about the cancer.

I've had 3 years since diagnosis. I've become so weak that I have to use a mobility scooter or wheelchair when out and about. I can no longer cook, which was one of my favourite things to do. But I'm still here, and I now have a 2 yr old granddaughter who's gorgeous!


Anyway, that's enough about me, this thread isn't all about me! :rotfl:


jozxyqk, all the best to your mum. Sounds like things are going well.

sillyvixen, so sorry to hear about your mum, but I'm glad she was able to be there for your wedding. It must have meant so much to you all and you will have those memories to hang on to. I'm glad she's getting all the help she needs and is at home. x


I've posted some links in my first post so they're at the top of the thread. If anyone has any others that they think might help, let me know and I'll add them there.

Mrs_Optimist

I started a thread a year ago when fil was diagnosed with terminal throat & lung cancer - totally out of the blue.

His prognosis was 18 months with chemo and he is still here to tell the tale, and has had radiotherapy too. It has been a real roller coaster that we are still on. He has chemo every 3 weeks but it is taking longer for him to recover which is tipping the quality/quantity scales, and not in a good way.

I have treated him as normal although inside I am devastated, but I don't want to pass my emotions on to him as frankly he has enough to cope with. I can't imagine how he feels, knowing he has a terminal illness, and have had treatment myself for health anxiety arising from his diagnosis. I have never missed a smear but too young for any other type of testing.

I dread the day he gets so ill he chooses to go into a hospice (we have discussed this and I told him he would know himself when the time is right). The other thing we as a family have struggled with is not being able to help him as he is a very independent person so spends long periods of time with his thoughts which isn't always a good thing.