Just for a laugh

Ria2007

Kez100 wrote: »

One thing made me laugh. We had an EA say they couldn't describe our floor as real wood because he had no evidence and it may be a property misdescription. When asked what he would say - he would put laminate! LOL. A complete misdescription!

I am really sorry but this one has made me laugh out loud, thank you so much for that.:rotfl:

Catblue

"Would suit professional couple" = folk who work in a chippy or Asda.

Ria2007

_philippa_ wrote: »

I have a really small porch, which was advertised as a reception room!

Have you sold your home?:D

Errata

2 bedrooms and a box room = vendor won't pay for a HIP (but the description is accurate!)

ka7e

Non-estate location - it's on a main road.
Close to local amenities - a flat over a kebab shop.

leftieM

Low maintenance garden = tiny garden
Well presented = full of little ornaments
Period features = toilet outside the house, woodworm everywhere
Recently installed luxury kitchen = vendor stuck in 3k kitchen to extract a further 10k from sucker buyer
Much sought-after location = we sold a house there before, once.

Sapphire

A bit OT, but the words 'stunning' and 'luxury' are well over-used, especially when it comes to selling new-builds.

Also, estate agents' use of grammar is terrible. For instance, why do they all advertise property as 'two bedroomed flat/house' when it is correct to say 'two-bedroom flat/house'? Badly educated twerps. :rolleyes:

Ria2007

Here is another one
Much sort after location = Can't be picked up by sat nav.

Errata

Luxury apartment = if you live in a caravan at the moment

Catblue

"Superbly presented" = they've stuck a vase of flowers from the petrol station on top of the coffee table.