No Spark

Bobby2016

Thank you for all your replies, really appreciated.

We chatted some more yesterday and she came out with comments such as

"Chatting feels strange now. Wish it didnt. No need to"
"I do want to see you again, I had fun. Just dont want to rush"

She then asked "What do you want. I dont know if you even want to date or be friends" I said personally id like to date, but if thats not what you want then id be happy to be friends. When I said how about you she said "To meet up again sometime"

Such a strange one. I havent messaged her today and so far havent heard anything from her, despite us talking every day. Think this is one to give a miss, as much as I didnt want too.

summerspring

amistupid wrote: »

The mind boggles at what she would have done if there had been a spark.

You took the words right out of my mouth :rotfl:

summerspring

C_Mababejive wrote: »

See if you can get a second date,bed her and move on..?

I'm surprised you haven't been subjected to a lynch mob on here, making comments like that

nearlyrich

That's why texting is not the way to go call her have a proper chat

Kaye1

It sounds as if she has no idea of what she wants- so don't try and second guess her! Good luck.

Alias_Omega

You have to be friends before you can date...

Friends first..
Dating second..
Relationship third..

drzoon

You want to go on a second date with her, she wants to go on a second date with you... It's not that difficult - go on the second date! At worst it's a few hours out of your life, and at best it's the start of a wonderful relationship.

Someone who hasn't been in a relationship for so long may take a while to figure out what they want. Don't be too quick to write her or yourself off just because of an offhand comment about a "spark".

Women who feel no spark with someone are generally not kissing them and holding hands on the first date. Ignore the spark comment and keep going out on dates if you both want to. Hopefully in a few years she will be the one telling stories of how she felt no spark on the first date, but was ready to marry you by the third date

Good luck!

FBaby

Her attitude makes total sense to me Although to be fair, the way she is going about it a bit less!

Most likely, the issue is (and sorry if I am blunt about it) is that she likes you, but doesn't find you physical attractive. She is now facing a dilemma as to whether she tried to get to know you better, but with the deep seeded feeling that she doubts the attraction will grow or to move on. She wants to continue to see you because she likes you and appreciate that this is precious. She is thinking that she would certainly like to be friends with you, and of course, if she could then suddenly find you attractive, that would be even better, but she doesn't want to let you on when she thinks the above is unlikely.

Would you agree to still see her but on a friendly basis? Would you be hurt if it didn't lead to a romantic relationship?

FBaby

Hopefully in a few years she will be the one telling stories of how she felt no spark on the first date, but was ready to marry you by the third date

I really hope so for OP, but in my case, I tried it, and it never happened. If the spark is no there in the start, it never starts. I don't know why, but that's how it is.

burlington6

Bobby2016 wrote: »

Thank you for all your replies, really appreciated.

We chatted some more yesterday and she came out with comments such as

"Chatting feels strange now. Wish it didnt. No need to"
"I do want to see you again, I had fun. Just dont want to rush"

She then asked "What do you want. I dont know if you even want to date or be friends" I said personally id like to date, but if thats not what you want then id be happy to be friends. When I said how about you she said "To meet up again sometime"

Such a strange one. I havent messaged her today and so far havent heard anything from her, despite us talking every day. Think this is one to give a miss, as much as I didnt want too.

Easy. You've come on too strong and scared her off.

Back off and stop contacting her.