People using up your time

onlyroz

I once went on a two-week coach tour of Italy, and there was a couple that was routinely late for everything. One particularly memorable day in Rome resulted in them being so late that we only got seven minutes in the Colloseum, which was the thing I was the most looking forward to seeing.

Another thing hat happened to me recently was in Halfords. I bought a bike for my daughter and was told that it would be ready to pick up in an hour. I returned a few hours later to find that they hadn't even started setting it up. And so I had to hang around in the shop for another 45 mins or so while they did the thing they told me would already have been done.

BigAunty

fierystormcloud wrote: »

I think it is attention seeking and narcissistic behavior. Like they think their time is more important than yours (as someone said earlier,) and so they can be the centre of attention when they do eventually arrive; blustering in loudly and arrogantly, with a fascinating story that they just HAVE to regale everyone with. *rollseyes*

.

Yes, I believe that at the extreme and persistent end of the spectrum, there is a 'performance' aspect to it where they become the centre of attention, like a child that's intentionally naughty because to them, any attention is better than being ignored.

The Wiki description of the psychological condition of 'passive aggressive' has the key word that chimes with me about 'self assertion'.

"Self-assertion is defined as the practice of looking out for your own interests ...the act of putting forth your own opinions in a boastful or inconsiderate manner that implies you feel superior to other..the act of expressing or defending your rights, claims, or opinions in a confident or forceful way...The confident and forceful expression or promotion of oneself, one's views, or one's desires."

The person who drags their feet, forgets things, turns up late, is always disorganised is somehow doing it to make a point, being forceful about it, even if they don't consciously know they are doing this.

Its perhaps because they feel its a way they can somehow become important - they negatively affect all those around them but at least they are making some kind of impact which matters to them. They work to their own timetable in their own way and others can go to hell or simply fit in with them.

It's a very independent state, quite ferociously anti team and anti social. But they do get their own way very often and don't seem to get punished for their selfishness, they always defend their behaviour.

Pollycat

onlyroz wrote: »

I once went on a two-week coach tour of Italy, and there was a couple that was routinely late for everything. One particularly memorable day in Rome resulted in them being so late that we only got seven minutes in the Colloseum, which was the thing I was the most looking forward to seeing.
.

I would have been furious with them.

I'm obsessive about not being late when I'm on any kind of trip with other people.
It's rude, rude, rude.

BigAunty

BarryBlue wrote: »

I have a cousin like that.
About 3 years ago we went to visit them for the day, a 2-hour drive away. We were invited for Sunday lunch but inevitably it would be 6pm by the time we ate so we suggested going to a restaurant. We arrived about 12 so hoped we might get to the restaurant by about 2. It was nearer 5 by the time she had sorted herself out and there was nothing left so we ended up trying to find a curry house that opened early. We hadn't eaten since 9am.

Just had a flashback to my ex friend about how they would fly in the face of requests to string things out to suit them.

There were about half a dozen of us invited round for dinner. As the first course (lentil soup) was now ready (albeit at least an hour past most people's dinner time) she suddenly decided her soup must have carrots in it. MUST. She made a big thing of tasting it and pulling faces - it couldn't be served without this particular vegetable in it.

Despite all of us telling her it was late, we were hungry and we were happy to have the soup as is, she ignored all of us to slowly chop up carrots, add it to the soup and string out its serving time by another phenomenal stretch of time.

Hindsight is a wonderful thing because then it was just seen as her usual slow and frustrating behaviour and was just shrugged off as a typically odd thing she'd do.

To me now, that examples shows how the prevarication was really an act of aggression, somehow she needed to punish her guests and show who is boss, so the carrot thing was a big performance for her.

onlyroz

Pollycat wrote: »

I would have been furious with them.

I'm obsessive about not being late when I'm on any kind of trip with other people.
It's rude, rude, rude.

Well being British all we did was glare at them and hope they picked up our negative telepathic vibes

The guide kept telling them off but it made no difference. If I was the guide I would have been tempted to leave them behind, but I guess they wouldn't be allowed to do that...

starrystarry

onlyroz wrote: »

I once went on a two-week coach tour of Italy, and there was a couple that was routinely late for everything. One particularly memorable day in Rome resulted in them being so late that we only got seven minutes in the Colloseum, which was the thing I was the most looking forward to seeing.

For the sake of my blood pressure, I fear I must stop reading this thread. I'd have fed them to the lions.

Pollycat

starrystarry wrote: »

For the sake of my blood pressure, I fear I must stop reading this thread. I'd have fed them to the lions.

You'd have been behind me in the queue. :rotfl:

ttoli

I live on a Holiday Island , but it infuriates me when Holiday makers and swallows drive as if they haven't a care in the world, letting all and sundry out at junctions and pootling along at 40 kph, pointing at the scenery, when some of us have to get to work :wall::wall::wall:

fierystormcloud

Cycrow wrote: »

When i used to work at Tesco, had a regular customer who used to deliberately go as slow as possible. He would put 1 item at a time on the belt, wait for it to be scanned, then pack away before putting the next one. And would be very slow at packing.

His reasoning was to stop Tesco getting his money to quickly, because he hated large companies. Not that it would make a difference, and the only people it actually effected were the customers waiting for him to finish

Wow! Why go to ruddy flippin' Tesco then? LOL! Go to the local Spar!

Pollycat wrote: »

TBH, I don't really care what the reason is.
It annoys me.
As FBaby says, it's common practice nowadays.

And another thing:
If you are in somewhere like the doctor, dentist, libarary etc and are being attended to and the phone rings and the person serving you immediately picks the phone up. :mad:

"Er, excuse me, I was here first. Why is the person on the other end of the phone more important than me?"

:mad: This annoys me too!

onlyroz wrote: »

I once went on a two-week coach tour of Italy, and there was a couple that was routinely late for everything. One particularly memorable day in Rome resulted in them being so late that we only got seven minutes in the Colloseum, which was the thing I was the most looking forward to seeing.

Another thing hat happened to me recently was in Halfords. I bought a bike for my daughter and was told that it would be ready to pick up in an hour. I returned a few hours later to find that they hadn't even started setting it up. And so I had to hang around in the shop for another 45 mins or so while they did the thing they told me would already have been done.

Re your first paragraph... Wow how flamin' annoying! These coach companies need to make it a rule that if anyone is more than 30 minutes late, they will get left behind and have to make their way back to the hotel.

And your second paragraph...also very annoying. Puts me in mind of BOOTS. Whenever I put a prescription in, every single time they tell me to come back in 10-15 minutes, and I do so (sometimes I leave it 20!) and the damn thing is still not done. :mad: So I am kept hanging around waiting, often being ignored by pharmacy and counter staff like I am invisible, and often I end up waiting another 5-7 minutes for my prescription. Thing is, it's the only pharmacy near me for 5 miles.

vacationgirl

roses wrote: »

I do this but that's only because surely by switching on your engine. moving it 5m across the forecourt, parking, getting out, going in the shop etc takes the person paying longer plus it's not great for the car plus not particularly environmentally friendly?

The management of a local petrol station have put notices on the petrol pumps stating that customers intending to make purchases in the shop must move their vehicle into a parking bay after using the petrol pump.
I think it is quite rude and thoughtless to leave other motorists waiting whilst others do their shopping.