we think our flatmate is stealing from us....(long)

NekoZombie

TBH, I doubt the police would be interested in a £40 theft. Of course, nothing should be too big or too small for their attention, but you know how it is.

smudgemanc26

NekoZombie wrote: »

TBH, I doubt the police would be interested in a £40 theft. Of course, nothing should be too big or too small for their attention, but you know how it is.

Yes but if they caught him doing it and had proof it would be for their own peace of mind as you wouldnt want to falsely accuse someone of something even though you have that niggling doubt in your mind, i think it would be best to be 100% sure first.

MABLE

Because the situation is very delicate and you have a good rapport with the alleged thief I would not leave money lying about. Better to buy a strong box and then it will be difficult for him to steal from you.

spud30

I agree with the suggestion of a lockable money box.

Could you and OH stage a conversation for him to overhear? Discuss the fact money is going missing, maybe mention the police, and how skint it is leaving you.

A true friend wouldn't steal from you, but if it is him, and he has an ounce of decency, he would find a way of replacing the money.

melancholly

unfortunately, we had a similar situation recently. it started with money from the house kitty going down really fast, and we couldn't work out what we'd spent it on. then i had to pay a bill for someone who was away (we pay by cheque and it was the phone - we waited as long as we could but when it was cut off, had to pay!). he clearly had major financial problems which he hid from us very well. it escalated into things being stolen from people's rooms to be sold at pawn shops. we only found this out after he left because of all the paperwork left behind. i am never going to see the money, or some really personal items that he took while i was away and then he was gone. i'm uninsured (don't start anyone!) but it wouldn't have mattered as there was no 'forced entry' so i couldn't have got any money.

i hope that your situation doesn't get this bad (the police are now involved and the sense of betrayal of a 'friend' going through my room looking for things to sell). i would try and stop it now so that it can't get worse. we now have a bit of paper in the kitty so that you have to write down how much is in there, how much you are taking/adding and how much is left. little things like that make it much mroe obvious when money goes missing. similarly, you OH could put the money in an envelope and put their signature over the seal to make it more difficult to take without noticing.

there must be a reason that this guy is so desperate for money - and it may be that he simply can't pay. if that's the case, you want to get away from him asap before the amount of money he owes you for bills (not even counting the stealing) becomes ridiculous. i was far too trusting and was taken for a mug (the others in the house also had things taken or paid bills for him, but i am owed the most and it's awful and not a position i can really afford to be in).

good luck with whatever you decide to do

taxi97w

If the money jar is big enough, plant a mouse trap under a few fivers.
If your flatmate has bruised nuckles after the money goes missing, I'd say you've got your man.:D

ibleedred

NekoZombie wrote: »

TBH, I doubt the police would be interested in a £40 theft. Of course, nothing should be too big or too small for their attention, but you know how it is.

Actually, they will be.

if you walk into a police station with video proof and seriel numbers then the police will take immediate action.

Why? because all forces work on crime detection figures, and this is a tick in a box.

He may only get a caution, but if the OP doesn't stop this, then what happens to the next trusting couple who gets made homeless???

Little_Pickle

from my OH (he just emailed me)...

a few months ago the money for the boat was in the front room in a pile (roughly £200) on the ledge by the bay windows. i'm pretty sure it was at least £40-60 short, although there was a lot of cash floating around then for different things, so i may have my estimates wrong... but i'm fairly certain that there was more cash in the pile

so you know, this morning i put another twenty quid in the jar, so it looks like there's heaps in there again and i think we should leave it for a few weeks (ie: don't add or remove anything under any circumstances)

it's a bit s**t that we have to lay a trap, but i'd rather know for sure... i'm not saying that it was (flatmate), but there's been a few situations with question marks on them. for the jar that had four £10 notes in only two days ago to only have three £10 notes this morning is a bit more than a question mark

as a last resort, i've got a webcam (that we used for guarding business premises in the past) that can take footage each time that there is movement in the room, it might be worth thinking about installing that

either way, i'd like to get to the bottom of this

Looks like he's thinking the same as you guys... god, I hate this... I'll let you know what we decide to do... My dad suggested saying nothing and putting a lock on our door...

smudgemanc26

If you say nothing though he's got away with it and got away with your money at least if you catch him he has a chance to confess as to why he did it and maybe a chance of paying you the money back. He'll only suspect anyway when he notices a big lock on your door so why just turn a blind eye i say confront him when you have proof!

Lucy1982_2

I think either a small safe or a lock on the door wouldn't be a bad idea.

My Ex's Uncle had to get a safe to stop his son stealing the car keys (he had crashed 2 of their cars by the time he was 16!!) sometimes deperate measures are needed.