Financially helping MIL

Counting_Pennies_2

The problem is that a huge amount of people who work in this country but are from developing countries do seem to send back money to home, so it is seen the norm for many.


I know someone who lives in a bedsit so they can afford to send money back to home to enable the entire family to live.


So the perception from many is this is the norm and to be expected.


However it doesn't need to be that way for your family.


My family are all UK born and bred, but it didn't stop them keep begging for money. Just because DH and I have worked hard, studied for extra degrees specific to our careers while working full time in order to better ourselves and started to reap the rewards by affording to buy a new car or a bigger house we were then expected to give money to our family.


My parents would plead poverty to go on holiday, to have spending money at certain points of the year. I would then discover she used my money to buy gifts for my sisters children. It was the end of the line for me.


I started to refuse them any money and ignore their requests, and I pulled back from them. I have been seen as the bad person, however I don't think about it often.


You have to do what is right by your family unit, and if there is extra and you are happy to then the clothes parcels sound a fantastic idea.


Good luck holding firm

Ms_Chocaholic

Although both my OH and I are from the UK, when we got together we had a similar experience with OH's mother. She lived alone but spent money like water, had 3 dogs, spent over £150 per week at the local supermarket but would spend, spend, spend. For example, she once bought a table and chairs that seated 8 (she lived on her own remember) on credit and gave my OH the payment book so he could pay it back each month. We had to put a stop to it, my OH felt obliged to help his mum out though as she had brought him up etc. He used to say things such as she'll end up in jail for not paying back what she owes, which sounds a ridiculous thing to say now, but that's how he felt at the time. We agreed we had to stop and we just did, my OH felt extremely guilty but several months/years later he looked back and realised how she had preyed on his vulnerabilities. His mother never did like me though and I can guess why!