Help but don't judge please

brokennotbent

OK I don't know if this is the right forum, if not please move appropriately. I don't know where to being and type as if I was speaking aloud, so its going to be totally jumbled. I don't expect you to magically solve my problems and, I know some of you will be intrigued?curious? nosey? and ask for more details on some of the deeper, painful, personal stuff - believe me its hard to explain in writing to strangers and trust me its complicated and I just want to keep to the matter in hand.
OK, so I live with my parents and, hands up, led a pretty sheltered life blighted by anorexia (don't lets go there) which has screwed up my life and, today I realised why so many people end up killing themselves - I cant keep telling myself, and my two dogs who are the only reason I get up in the mornings, that things are going to get better. Home is hell, cheap hell yes but I pay in other ways! We need to get out but I'm unemployable, the look of me will put people off, but I need to break out. But I cant afford to so what help is there. I hate the area we live in but can I move and get rent paid, I'm single, 35 just me and the dogs who are perfectly trained, thats my dream to work with dogs, my two are my CV! I get DLA (until the PIP comes I guess) and ESA so I figure I could pay our food bills etc petrol but need help with the rent and bills but don't how to start. Before anyone says Im ungrateful, it will destroy my parents for me to leave etc, spend a day in my house being told how useless and worthless I am and the sooner I get out the better. Non-doggy people won't get it but its affecting them, hearing the shouting and the atmosphere, and I just want them to be happy but I cant let them go, but thats digressing. OK, lets have it.

pmlindyloo

If you moved out into private accommodation you would be eligible for the one bed rate of local housing allowance. You can look up the amount on your local council website.

If you are on income based ESA then you would get your rent paid up to the maximum of your local housing allowance. You would also be eligible for council tax reduction.

You may have difficulty finding somewhere to rent because you are not employed. You would probably have to pay a deposit and one month's rent in advance. The council may help you if they have a Rent Deposit Scheme where they guarantee the deposit to the landord ( no money changes hand)

You best option is to go to your local CAB where they can give you some advice.

brokennotbent

But I can't stay in this area, hate it here and I don't want them knowing where we are. IF and it is a big, scary if, we go then we go away. But I don't know where or how to begin, and have no one I can go to. I'm trapped.

brokennotbent

And I'm unemployable so even if get my rent pedi, I can't pay council tax, bills etc. any ideas where's a good place to move to that will have rents in the benefit bracket and jobs that will take even me.

xylophone

It would help to make an appointment at the CAB - it is possible that the adviser would be prepared to contact the CAB in the area of your choice and check availability of housing available to someone on DLA/ESA with pets.

brokennotbent

Thank you, I'm sorry for seeming to sound as if you all will know what area we should go to etc, I just feel so alone.

seven-day-weekend

I also would try your local Housing Department at the Council. With the problems you have you might be classed as a vulnerable person and helped to get social housing,. You might even get most of your rent and Council Tax paid depending upon your circumstances. They would help you with this.

It's worth a try, surely?

LocoLoco

Brokennotbent, I find big changes like this need to be broken down into small areas as they can be so overwhelming. Are you unable to work at all or just haven't got a job at the mo? I only ask because my first thought when reading your post was self employed dog walker/pet sitter/ trainer etc. Voluntary if actual work isn't possible because of health problems, paid if you're well enough to work. Perhaps sit down and make a list of all the different things you find are difficult or not going the way that you would like and then take each item and find out as much as you can about that specific thing. Start small to build your confidence up. Often I find it's the great unknown that's so scary, once you break it all down it becomes easier. Re places to live, renting is difficult, especially with pets, it might be worth looking into things like farm work/large estates/riding stables etc, all the sort of outdoorsie places that sometimes provide accommodation with the job and won't mind your well behaved pooches. Even campsites sometimes, some people can live in a caravan onsite in exchange for working around the place and so on. It's not easy to find these sorts of things but in your situation I'd be inclined to look in that direction but as I say, start with little things and work your way through.

Caz3121

brokennotbent wrote: »

I get DLA (until the PIP comes I guess) and ESA so I figure I could pay our food bills etc petrol but need help with the rent and bills but don't how to start.

brokennotbent wrote: »

And I'm unemployable so even if get my rent pedi, I can't pay council tax, bills etc. any ideas where's a good place to move to that will have rents in the benefit bracket and jobs that will take even me.

Apart from help with the rent and a reduction in Council Tax (each council has their own rules) there is no separate help for bills, You would be expected to pay your gas, electric, phone, tv licence, water, insurances, food, car costs etc from your ESA/DLA
The LHA rate would cover the lowest 30% of rentals so if you do find somewhere that is higher than the LHA you would need to pay the rent topup also from your other benefits

Many private landlords will not accept those on benefits - this may be due to the conditions of their mortgage or conditions of their buildings insurance. Your council may have a list of private landlords that do accept tenants on benefits but note that many landlords also choose not to allow pets so it may not be easy

giddypenguin

Hi Brokennotbent,

I just wanted to say that there is a way out of anorexia - believe me! What is the help like in the area you are in? In my area there are residential placements where you can work at supporting yourself, is that something you could look into for a few weeks to give you a leg up? I too lived with my parents during my illness, but also like you, felt like I had to get out of there during my [long] recovery. Moving out was probably the best thing I did, as I was ready for a new challenge and to get on with the rest of my life. I was extremely lucky that my former employers were good friends who gave me a little part time job, which helped me get 'back into the swing of things' - you say you are unemployable, have you taken the plunge and applied for some jobs? In the first instance it might be helpful to apply for some zero-hour jobs so that you aren't committed to set shifts, and as you build your confidence then look for something more permanent? Possibly you could also look at a short college course to keep your mind active?

My advice is to take baby steps, break this down into smaller steps and take them one at a time, eventually leading to you moving out. But I am a big advocate of 'getting out there' and doing stuff - the bit of my illness that made me feel worst is sitting on my !!!! all day not being able to do anything.

merlin68

Even the council are quiet strict on animals now. You have to have a flat with its own garden. I have been a tenant for years and its only my last 2 properties that allowed dogs with permission.
Very few one beds would have their own garden i imagine.