Forgiveness?

Jagraf

I can forgive if I can see a reason, looking hard, for an action. If I can't find a reason, I can't forgive.

I would try if it makes me feel better, but I won't forgive for the other persons benefit.

I forgive quickly if I can find a reason to forgive.

LameWolf

It depends on the nature of the offense. To me, some things are just not possible to forgive.

DigForVictory

If this is dividing the family, then it isn't your behaviour/decision alone.

If they aren't willing to be honest with the rest of the family, all you can do is withhold your forgiveness?

Silence ever after is corrosive & teaches the young that secrets are OK - the first step down a primrose path that can have multiple dubious destinations.

FBaby

To me, there is only one recipe for forgiveness and that's time. Time for them to show that they really have changed their ways, or mean the promises they have made.

calleyw

Forgiveness does not mean you condone or forget what they have done.

Only you can choose to forgive. No one can make you. They can ask for it does not mean you will give it.

It really depends on what they have done. But life is short.

If you don't want to have this person in your life then don't. What other family members do is up to them.

All the best what ever your choose to do.

Yours

Calley

Artytarty

Do it if you can. It is a gift to yourself, not for their sake. harbouring resentment is a drain on you. Let it go.

PasturesNew

AnnieO1234 wrote: »

... many ..

Keyword there.

Sorry is as sorry does .... and they've not been sorry before have they. Nor will they ever be sorry.

You don't need this !!!!, let them find some other sucker.

sammyjammy

Artytarty wrote: »

Do it if you can. It is a gift to yourself, not for their sake. harbouring resentment is a drain on you. Let it go.

Its not as simple as a choice between forgiveness and resentment.

I heard something the other day which really resonated with me "I forgot what you said to me, I forgot the way you said it but I'll never forget the way it made me feel"

dandelionclock30

If it was me, it would also depend on what they had done and why they had done it and their state of mind. If they have no insight because say they have a severe mental health problem etc then I would view that differently to if they just didnt want to discuss things or look at themselves.
It would also depend upon who the person was within the family, if its your child then its different to a second cousin or something.
I think only you know if you can or cant forgive them and I think different people have different standards and some people are more easy going than others.
If you cant do it then for family things you can always be just polite like with an aquaintance or work colleague. I personally have never been able to forgive for very serious slights I just get rid of the person.

sammyjammy

dandelionclock30 wrote: »

I personally have never been able to forgive for very serious slights I just get rid of the person.

Absolutely agree, for me its about never being able to trust that person again, life's too short to surround yourself with people you don't love and trust.