Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

AspiringButAnxious

Paid £70 off cc -- now £150

Had gastritis for over a week now, though it eased off at the weekend. It's horrible and gets worse when I eat anything vaguely healthy. Crisps are the only thing I can digest with no problems. Fizzy drinks help ease it a little. Feels like I'm having to go back to my bad habits just to get through the pain.

UncannyScot

A wee tip on the fizzy drinks... use sparkling (fizzy) water and fruit juice to make a healthier alternative and it saves money too

crazy_cat_lady

Hope you feel better soon ABA.

Dimps_123

Wow! I've just read your entire diary over the last couple of days. All I can say is what an inspiration you are. You have done so well. I am in awe of all the changes you have made over the last few years. You have been completely honest with your struggles and I think you should be extremely proud of your achievements.


xx

UncannyScot

Hope you're feeling better missus.

I am off on a weekends' YOMP with a few mates (and our dugs) early tomorrow morning 'til sometime Sunday afro...
Somewhere away up the North West Highlands... don't worry, we're prepared for Arctic conditions and even the dug has her own sleeping bag and kit

AspiringButAnxious

Thanks guys

Dimps -- wow back at you! I'm very touched (and impressed) that you read this whole diary. I sometimes look back at the first page, but find it difficult to read more, especially as so many things haven't turned out as I had hoped/assumed/planned -- though that's not necessarily bad, since I've done things I never thought I'd get around to actually achieving

I still feel awful, stomach-wise. Went to the doctor last night and he said there are 2 main possibilities, the first of which is gastritis. So I have a prescription for an antacid tablet to be taken daily for a month. If that doesn't work, it means the other possibility is most likely: gallstones. I think my symtoms align better with a severe case of gastritis, so I'm hoping that's the culprit.

My diet is atrocious in health terms, but I'm eating what I burn (on average), so shouldn't gain weight. The fizzy drinks don't bother me so much, because I always have no sugar versions, but the crisps amd pther processed food are frustrating. Every time I eat anything approaching "nitritious" my symptoms get worse, which is ridiculous. So on balance, I would rather have junk food and keep it down...

Gastritis is making life challenging, but my mood isn't too bad considering it usually gets worse in winter. Have made it back to gym classes on Friday and this week, exercising through the pain. The exercise doesn't make it worse; it just means I'm not sitting with my heat pads on my stomach. Certainly helps my mood though.

I'm doing NaNoWriMo and aiming to finish my novel draft by the end of this month. I got ahead in the first couple of days, but have fallen behind. Hopefully I can get into the groove and churn out loads of words -- they don't have to be good!

Submitted my first OU assignment 4 days early last week Got the first for the other module due on the 29th and have covered all the material, so am slowly getting started on that.

Had the first team meeting for AGES yesterday at the mental health organisation I volunteer for, which was good. I have missed seeing everyone and one of the staff has come back from maternity leave, so it was extra-fab to see her again. My paid role should be starting soon, because they had good news re one big funding application and the ball is starting to roll...

Feeling a bit sorry for myself this week and have very recently discovered Gilmore Girls, so I bought the complete DVD boxset to cheer myself up. Hence my cc balance, while less than it was, has only gone down £47 to £103. I also entered a short story comp last week, which was covered by £5 from GTM.

It feels very un-MSE to say so, but I'm not going to worry about my finances for the rest of the year. I'm not going to go crazy and spend loads, but neither am I going to deprive myself or pressure myself to pay more into savings/debt repayment. My sole aim is to clear the cc and keep it cleared at the end of each month. Well, that and repay recent spending borrowed from my parents.

Finance will be a priority next year, along with work in general (writing and new role in art project) and study. I also want to continue to lose weight and work on my fitness, especially strength. I'm not planning to do anything in particular next year, but it would be nice to boost my fun fund so I have some money available if I want to do something (I quite fancy ghost hunting and sometimes writing talks/workshops crop up). I might be tempted to do a race or two, if I can convince my mum... I think my 2019 goals will be about reinforcing good, healthy habits in all aspects of my life and leaving space for magic to happen

Lucifa73

Aha I found you! Uncanny sais you might be a fellow Wrimo-er! I'm way behind on words but I'll get there


I have read from the start of your diary. You have come so far! Your aims for the rest of 2018 and aspirations for 2019 sound great. I have subscribed and will be wishing you well!

AspiringButAnxious

Thanks, lucifa I'm also behind on word count, but hopefully it's salvageable!

Stomach still hurts, but have been able to drink a bit more for the past couple of days. Still overeating, but trying to stop now I've been taking medication for a week and things should be improving. Had a really bad day on Sunday, for no apparent reason, which seemed to strain my stomach even more. Missed gym classes this week, but hoping to go back tomorrow.

Paid all but £10 off cc, so that's under control and I can pay my mum for some recent spending (and rent arrears) next week.

Got 98 for my first OU assignment, which is a relief, but hyper-aware that the one due in 2 weeks is for s harder module and is a more challenging assignment in general (longer, more complex, etc).

Just trying to keep up with everything around/inbetween the worst episodes of stomach pain...

AspiringButAnxious

Cleared last £10 off cc, paid my mum rent for the past 4 weeks and £40 of recent spending. Now owe £170.50 from recent spending, plus my dog's annual vaccines, which he had last Thursday.

Found out that I will be working 24 hours a month from December to July. I'm glad it's happening now and feeling pretty excited, but I'm also nervous. I hope it will help me build some confidence so that I can find more work and improve my mental health so I can do more hours. It would be incredible not to have to rely on working tax credits.

My stomach still hurts, but I have been to gym classes on Friday and Monday. Also planning to go tonight. Got my eating under control since Sunday, so hope to lose the 6lb I have gained over the past 4 weeks of gastritis. Hoping at least half of it is down to bloating!

Struggling to get going this week, but need to buck up because I have an assignment due a week tomorrow. Also want to win NaNoWriMo, which is looking unlikely atm but is possible if I work hard.

I've realised that despite working towards/achieving some of my goals, I still feel stuck. Nothing seems to really change. Guess it's because I'm dissatisfied with a lot of things in my life and disappointed that I haven't seen more improvements, especially in work, finances and mental health-- which are obviously connected.

reality_check

Hey ABA, I'm back on MSE after not coming on here for about 6 months. Just caught up on your diary and oh my goodness you've achieved so much!! :T How amazing are you doing with your fitness and completing a half marathon! I couldn't help but laugh at the glasses/your mums awful navigation skills :rotfl: Hope you're enjoying the new little puppy, I love all dogs but we have always had cocker spaniels so I have a soft spot for spaniels. They are hard work though, I would say my dog especially as a puppy is as demanding as my baby!! Great news on the funding/new job opportunity, you will be great.

You should be so proud of all you have achieved this year, you've honestly done amazing. I really want to get back into some form of fitness routine, especially now I am back to work after maternity leave and in a routine again and reading your progress has inspired me!

Hope you feel better soon xxx