Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

crazy_cat_lady

I agree - you've done loads... I spent about 5 hours with a young dog yesterday and that was way more than I could manage. Look where you are compared to this time last year, and big things are coming with the OU course as well.

Joannaswan

Hi
I’m new to this site 👍 but almost certainly not new to debt sadly and mental health. I would be very grateful for any advice
My Husband has type 2 Bipolar and was very unwell 2016- end of 2017..after juggling 15 payday loans in a period of mania, a stressful job as a fire officer (seeing much death and loss) 3 kids and 1 wife with disabilities, after 2 suicide attempts he had a nervous breakdown and 6 months off work.. within the time he was poorly he decided to purchase a brand spanking new caravan with finance from Black Horse borrowed 5k to pay a deposit on the caravan (it gets worse) then was approved for finance to The tune of £45k (head in hands) I didn’t know the deal and we have been paying 1k a month solely on a caravan this repayment we barely kept up with we paid in full for 6 months the. We started to fall behind.. his vision for a nice holiday home by the sea was honourable but he wasn’t mentally stable when he took this finance agreement (he was under the crisis team and consultant psych) if I had of known I would never have let him sign.. anyways The van was Reposessed last week sold back to holiday park for 7k less than the asking price.. after paying the HP agreement for 8 months in full out a 5 k deposit down and it’s alresdy been sold we have been told we still owe 21,000 🙈😳 I am seriously in shock.. we even rented it out to make some revenue and that has been swallowed. Don’t know where?? How did my sick husband who had just had 15 payday loans even get credit for £45k anyway.. ?? The Black Horse are irresponsible lenders and I’m worried my husband will get sick again (hebwent back to work in Jan and is now doing so well) thankyou xxx

SuperMoose

Joannaswan wrote: »

Hi
I’m new to this site 👍 but almost certainly not new to debt sadly and mental health. I would be very grateful for any advice
My Husband has type 2 Bipolar and was very unwell 2016- end of 2017..after juggling 15 payday loans in a period of mania, a stressful job as a fire officer (seeing much death and loss) 3 kids and 1 wife with disabilities, after 2 suicide attempts he had a nervous breakdown and 6 months off work.. within the time he was poorly he decided to purchase a brand spanking new caravan with finance from Black Horse borrowed 5k to pay a deposit on the caravan (it gets worse) then was approved for finance to The tune of £45k (head in hands) I didn’t know the deal and we have been paying 1k a month solely on a caravan this repayment we barely kept up with we paid in full for 6 months the. We started to fall behind.. his vision for a nice holiday home by the sea was honourable but he wasn’t mentally stable when he took this finance agreement (he was under the crisis team and consultant psych) if I had of known I would never have let him sign.. anyways The van was Reposessed last week sold back to holiday park for 7k less than the asking price.. after paying the HP agreement for 8 months in full out a 5 k deposit down and it’s alresdy been sold we have been told we still owe 21,000 🙈😳 I am seriously in shock.. we even rented it out to make some revenue and that has been swallowed. Don’t know where?? How did my sick husband who had just had 15 payday loans even get credit for £45k anyway.. ?? The Black Horse are irresponsible lenders and I’m worried my husband will get sick again (hebwent back to work in Jan and is now doing so well) thankyou xxx

Hello and welcome to MSE :hello:

If you post your own thread on the main Debt Free Wannabe board I'm sure people will be along to help

Post here:
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?f=76

Click on to start your own thread.

You might also want to read this:
https://www.moneysavingexpert.com/credit-cards/mental-health-guide/

AspiringButAnxious

Joannaswan -- I can't really advise you on your debt, because I'm no expert and have zero experience of the type of debt your husband has incurred. I originally owed money on a student overdraft and credit card, plus my parents. As SuperMoose says, you will get much better advice by posting in the forum and reading material on this website. All I can say is that it's possible to get through this. It's not easy and goodness knows I have made hundreds of mistakes and am repaying my debt at a glacial pace, but it's possible. Your lives are so much more than your finances, though it's hard to appreciate this -- especially at the outset, before you have plans and strategies in place.

Thanks scuba and ccl You're absolutely right! I keep reminding myself that the first weeks are bound to be the hardest. We are getting into more of a routine and I'm more relaxed, so things are already better. Managing to get stuff done when pup has her sleepy times Still, I'm very glad my parents are off work next week so they can take over!

I'm doing the Great West Run in Exeter, chosen solely because it's close to me and late in the year! Did 12km at the weekend (with a fair amount of walking, but no stopping),so feeling more able. The plan is to increase distance over the next 2 weekends and then focus on consistency and running more (as opposed to walking). My goal is to complete the race, not to run all of it, so as long as I cross the finish line I will be satisfied.

Lost another 1.5lb so down to 182lb, which is 13st. It's been over 13 years since I last saw that number! The weight loss os excruciatingly slow atm, but I'm relieved to see some progress. Being stricter with my diet this month, because I need to get rid of as much weight as I can (healthily) before the half marathon.

The rest of my OU materials arrived and both websites say my student loan will cover both modules, so hopefully I was stressing for no reason. The module websites open next week and I want to get ahead a little before the official start in October.

Paid my mum rent plus £57.50 today, so owe her £66 from recent spending. Will be able to pay it off next Wednesday and then can put some money back in my rdf.

The puppy is now sleeping against my leg/arm, so I'm currently thinking she's adorable enough to be worth the time and stress!

UncannyScot

Hi :hello:

You are making progress

Good luck with your run.
I think you're doing well with your weight loss. I worked with a lad who lost a load of weight but he lost it very quickly (too quickly actually) and as a result needed an operation to remove excess skin.
It's best to lose it gradually via excercise and diet, as you are doing as it gives your skin the chance to catch up and reduces the risks of stretch marks and excess skin. You are doing great, I'm fairly fit but even I would struggle with a 12km YOMP these days
BTW the puppy is GORGEOUS
(((((HUGS)))))
:A

scubaangel

I have a feeling I've said this before but before my first half marathon last year my training consisted of a 5k "race" two weeks before and a 10k "race" the week before. I still despite years of trying to can't run even 5k without walking, but on the day you'll find that the atmosphere will get you round even if the last few k are torture - I did my first in 2.45, it was a lapped course and I was surprised at how consistant my pace had been since I felt like I was going to keel over in the last lap. I'd like to say I'll do better/train more for this years but its 6 (ish) weeks away and my last run was a 10k trail in June (unless you count the 5k mud runs, which I don't as you can't run those even if you wanted to unless you're super quick). I also just booked tickets for Oktoberfest at the Olympic Park the night before. :beer:

AspiringButAnxious

Aw, thanks guys You've both helped me feel more confident and reassured!

Scuba - it's such a relief to know that not everyone does loads and loads of training. Trouble is, it's easier to find info from more serious runners who have time targets, whereas I just want to get around in one piece I'm pretty sure I could walk it if needed, though I would like to run as much as I/my mum can.

Uncanny - lucky the puppy is gorgeous, otherwise I'm not sure she'd be worth the hassle :rotfl: Already love her to bits; with all our dogs, as soon as I met them they became part of the family. Even my dad's old dog, who was very difficult (rescue dog with "issues"), was immediately one of us and I'd have done anything for him.

The ship has already sailed on stretchmarks... Looking back, I must have gone from a size 20 to a 26 really quickly because it happened during the last year of my Film Studies BA. I then dropped down to size 22 in a few months. I'm hoping having spent less than 6 months at my biggest will help me avoid loose skin, but I just have to wait and see. I see loads of pics on Instagram of people with loose skin which looks fine to me -- just puckering or invisible in clothes. I want to avoid an operation if I can, because apart from the cost, general anaesthetic makes me feel awful for a few weeks and the recovery time without exercise would impact my mental health. Been using firming lotion (just cheap Nivea stuff) in the hopes of minimising problems, along with goid nutrition and exercise. A lot of accounts I've read say weight training is the key factor in avoiding loose skin, so I've got that going for me!

I have a short story, Subsidence, published in Toasted Cheese literary journal this month, so I'm feeling pretty good It's the first fiction success I've had in nearly 2 years, so very encouraging. Also managed to post on my blog and had very kind comments from an old university friend, which was touching.

I know this isn't a very "mse" thing to say, but I feel as though my life generally goes better when I focus on the stuff which is most important to me, like fiction and mental health blogs. The decision is partly made for me, because there haven't been any suitable assignments on Copify for ages (except one which got taken before I could accept it!), but even if I spend all 16 hours working on Copify orders, the maximum I can earn is £4 an hour, based on what I have done already. Less if I took on unsuitable assignments.

Doing unpaid work for myself is a risk, but the potential rewards are much higher: I'm building a reputation and producing a catalogue of work which could be published in future. In the meantime, there's a chance of getting paid through placing in competitions and getting published in one of the (few) paying literary journals. I also seem to spend less when I'm feeling better and more stable.

Of course, the art project should bring me some paid work which I also enjoy and find important. Not sure when it will start though, as they're waiting to hear about a couple of big funding applications first. In the meantime, I will keep writing and submitting stories and stop stressing. In theory.

UncannyScot

I have quite a few friends who are currently serving military or veterans and we will sometimes go on long distance hikes (20 miles or more) and we do these in YOMP (Your Own Marching Pace) or TAB (Tactical Advance into Battle) fashion carrying roughly the same weight as per a "patrol" kit.

The hike is a mix of jogging and walking and we arrange to have a vehicle or vehicles at a pick up point at the end destination to transport us back to where the rest of the cars are (which is usually but not always a pub car park... ). We have been thinking of doing a charity marathon in kit... so, if you ever see a bunch of guys in marathon news in military kit doing a charity run, it might be us lol

The point is reaching your destination without being utterly drained and if properly paced we reach our destination just a wee bit out of breath but still firing on all cylinders IYKWIM

Weight / Circuit Training is superb for toning skin and muscle so you're defo on the right track there
Also, you're still a youngster so you have the elasticity in your skin that's needed for it to reshape again.

I'll say it again, you are doing great, so keep it going

crazy_cat_lady

Congratulations on the publication - great news! As well as the fantastic weightloss. It sounds as though things are good at the moment - long may it continue.

AspiringButAnxious

Thanks guys I will now refer to our run/walks as yomping! Did 17km/10.5 miles on Sunday, so feeling like we can actually do this. Aiming for 20km next time, before tapering off.

Paid my mum for the backlog of recent spending today, so feeling like I'm back on track. I suppose it's good that I haven't added to my debt, but it does feel like I've been struggling because of the clothes/Arvon expenses. Not to mention buying stuff when grocery shopping... although I no longer spend £10+ per week on Pepsi Max, so I suppose that's an improvement!

Also paid £35 writing group subs Had our first meeting on Saturday and I entered the informal short story comp we set before summer, along with one other person. I lost by one vote, but the winner wanted to split the £50 prize with me! I intend to use this small windfall to enter a couple of short story comps I wouldn't otherwise be able to afford.

Struggling a bit depression-wise this week, because today is the 5th anniversary of my old dog dying suddenly and unexpectedly. Trying to focus on the positives and to be grateful for my current dog and my mum's puppy. After all, I would rather have pets than to not have them at all. They're worth the pain when they die.