Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

belleandthebudget

You're doing fantastically, ABA! Especially excited to see you putting in proposals for work alongside all the writing you're doing with the blog and short story!

AspiringButAnxious

Thanks, Belle

Yesterday was a bit of a disaster. I felt really low and couldn't motivate myself to do anything productive. That's one of the most frustrating and least understood aspects of mental illness: I can feel great one day and awful the next, for no apparent reason.

On the bright side, I received a £5 Amazon card from SB and my new balance is £10.40 so not much longer and I can get the next present

belleandthebudget

You're on a present roll!

It's tough, especially when you don't know which days are going to be the good ones and which will be hard, but you're doing all the right things to put yourself in the best position to help yourself through those.

Keep fighting the good fight! There are lots of us who understand, even if we're not struggling today. You're not there by yourself, even when it feels like you are.

AspiringButAnxious

To add to the frustration and disappointment of this week, I have a cold. My dad decided to infect everyone else in the household. I submitted 3 more proposals on Upwork yesterday and got a message from one of them, but got another message today saying someone else has the job

I shouldn't feel down about it, because it was appallingly low paid — $50 for 10 blog articles, which would have taken me anywahere from 10-20 hours — but from what I hear, getting a foot in the door is half the battle. It's their loss anyway; I would have done a brilliant job because the subject was close to my heart. From what I've read, I should focus on pitching to newspapers, websites and magazines — but the idea is terrifying. I will continue to work on spec articles and build up my skills and confidence.

I also need to get a move on with my next ebook. It's hard to stay motivated when I don't get many sales, but I can do marketing after I have a small stable of ebook lifestyle guides to actually market.

AspiringButAnxious

Forgot to say: one bit of good news is that I've ordered another £5 Amazon card from SB. When it comes through, I can order the train set for my friends' little girl!

Then my next present goal will be birthday presents for my other friends' two little girls. Their birthdays are in December (awkward!) whereas my dad's is in November, but I've no idea what to get my dad yet and his present can be bought offline if needed. I'd rather sort out all the kids first. It's weird to think I'll be buying Xmas presents for 4 kids, since one isn't born yet...

crazy_cat_lady

Keep fighting. Not giving up is the most important thing... Some days will be good - others will be rubbish. Hang on in there, you'll get it x

belleandthebudget

AspiringButAnxious wrote: »

It's their loss anyway; I would have done a brilliant job because the subject was close to my heart.

That's exactly the attitude to take! Maybe the subject can be used as one of your spec articles and then you've got the bonus of stealing a little inspiration from them.

I'm in awe of your SBing. I get bored of it after a couple days. I just don't seem to have the patience. Now I'm thinking maybe if I look at it as working off a book I like or a pressie for someone at Christmas -- thinking of the end goals, not how bored I am! -- then it might be easier to stick to.

Orange_Ena

belleandthebudget wrote: »

That's exactly the attitude to take! Maybe the subject can be used as one of your spec articles and then you've got the bonus of stealing a little inspiration from them.

I'm in awe of your SBing. I get bored of it after a couple days. I just don't seem to have the patience. Now I'm thinking maybe if I look at it as working off a book I like or a pressie for someone at Christmas -- thinking of the end goals, not how bored I am! -- then it might be easier to stick to.

Brilliant sw@gbucking ABA, soon mounts up doesn't it.

Belle - I could never get on with Sw@gbucks when I did it before, and I was going to crawl my way up to the £5 cash out then leave it. But in the last week or 2, I've got up to a £10 voucher and I'm half way to £15. It is time consuming and I only do the surveys if i'm sitting watching telly or listening to the radio anyway. I do the daily goal thing so I've got an aim, the daily poll, the daily survey and any of the other surveys. Occasionally I'll play the games, do a search (and hope I get lucky) or have the videos playing in the background with it on mute! It endlessly asks the same basic questions but I treat it like a game. I'm determined to get enough Am@zon vouchers to buy a fitbit which is about £70. Got nearly £16 :rotfl:

AspiringButAnxious

Got my £5 Amazon voucher today and train set is ordered! I've taken a few days' break from SBing, after reaching the 21 day bonus, but will start again in earnest tomorrow... I wouldn't say I enjoy it, but I do it when watching TV so it's bearable. I think it also helps knowing what presents I want to buy with the vouchers and getting them in £5 increments, so that I can get them fairly often and see my Amazon balance boosted, keeps me motivated.

A couple of pieces of luck today:
• Got my first Lucky Phone points — 70!
• Sold my guitar! My cousin offered me £20 for it, which is what I was hoping for. (And why I delayed reducing the price, cos I know people tend to offer under). He lives in Southampton, so my aunt will be delivering. His oldest son wants to play, so hope he's better than me — I liked the idea of playing guitar, but have sp little coordination and musical ability that I was doomed from the start...

That's perked me up a bit, which is good because I feel like I've lost my mojo. My single achievement of the weekend was to swap my cumbersome wardrobe for an old, smaller one that has been living in the shed for several years. My hands smelled of bleach all day yesterday, after I gave it a good clean! Also moved my bedroom furniture around, so the room is a lot lighter now and feels more spacious. In the past, I would have been tempted to buy new furniture — probably on Very acc — but I realised I'd much rather have the money in my bank or off my debt. Guess that's progress!

I feel a bit weird; might be the autumnal weather, but it feels like the year is almost over and I've done so little. Had to shake myself and remind myself that there's still a third of the year left!

So here are some goals for the next 4 months:
• Save £300 in emergency fund (after I pay off Very)
• Rewrite my novel to a good standard
• Draft a novel (during NaNoWriMo in November — but keeping the idea in the back of my mind)
• Consistently earn £50 a week through freelance work
• Lose 50lbs — I'm very overweight, so this would take me down to 200lbs. The scary thing is, I was a size 26 when I graduated 4 years ago and am now a (big) size 18. I will focus on eating healthily because I know from experience that diets don't work and I need to change my lifestyle. I've also had eating disorders in the past, so being strict causes more problems than anything else.
• Do yoga regularly. I used to feel so much better when I did, so it makes no sense not to get back into yoga. I'm prone to backache and it really helps.

So my focus for the remainder of the year can be summed up thusly:
Health, work/writing and money!

Bobarella

Brilliant goals for the final quarter. They all sound achievable which should mean less pressure trying to do difficult tasks that make you too stressed.