Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

Bobarella

It sounds to me like you are doing things. But maybe you feel you aren't doing them quickly enough?

crazy_cat_lady

Well, fingers crossed - and small steps. Having seen my DH literally housebound with anxiety I know how difficult it can be sometimes.
Someone once told me that confidence is all an act anyway. I worked out that I didn't have any because I was too busy worrying that other people would reject me. It's taken me a long time to live a bit more and care a bit less about what others are concerned with.

12_month_challenge

crazy_cat_lady wrote: »

Well, fingers crossed - and small steps. Having seen my DH literally housebound with anxiety I know how difficult it can be sometimes.
Someone once told me that confidence is all an act anyway. I worked out that I didn't have any because I was too busy worrying that other people would reject me. It's taken me a long time to live a bit more and care a bit less about what others are concerned with.

I totally agree

People that mind dont matter. And people that matter dont mind

AspiringButAnxious

Thank you folks It feels great to have your support. I need to appreciate how much my anxiety has improved — I was also housebound at its worst points — and to be easier on myself.

Bob — perhaps a bit of both not doing enough and not doing things quickly enough! I suppose any action is progress and I'm doing *something* to improve my situation at least every few days, so it could be worse, but I did b****r-all on Monday except blog! I have so much I should be getting on with and it's frustrating when I let myself down.

I feel much better today though The appointment went well and the counsellor gave me some great advice. She taught me a technique that should help me get more done: I need to separate m work into:
1. Generating ideas
2. Planning how to implement those ideas
3. Critiquing those plans
Hitherto, I have tended to criticise the ideas and myself more than anything. Even when I've tried to plan, I criticise them as I'm thinking of plans. That has to stop.

My next appointment with the counsellor is in 3 weeks. I want to make some real progress before then. In some ways, the main limits put on me are from myself — while I can't control whether anyone gives me work/accepts my work, I can certainly submit work and pitches a LOT more. I need to put my business head on during non-creative tasks, like submitting, so that I don't get caught up in self-doubt.

So, I've got to get on with making plans...

Added £8 to savings pot today :j It's mileage expenses from Working Links, but I pay for petrol from my bank account to my mum (who owns the car) at the end of each month. It's handy to have some cash though

Bobarella

Hello

It sounds like the councelling session went really well. Glad to hear that.

Bob

AspiringButAnxious

Thanks Bob It's definitely given me a lot to think about! Having another appointment lined up helps, too. I want to be further along my "path" by then, so that I can get advice for the next stage — if that makes sense. I don't want to go back to the counsellor with the same problems because I haven't worked through them and applied her advice.

AspiringButAnxious

Grrrrrr! :mad: The Client has really messed me around today, first cancelling an assignment I had already completed one article for, then saying I could submit the one I did and leave the others, then asking for all three articles, then saying I could submit just one after I complained about how I'm being treated.... Can't wait to get some clients who actually pay decent money so I can ditch this one. They are getting a b****y good deal, paying me $2 an article and are taking the p***

On the bright side, I have started the intro for my ebook! Hope to get it drafted by Monday and then edited ready to publish on Friday. I also want to make some plans re freelancing this afternoon, putting what the counsellor said into action.

AspiringButAnxious

Wow! Wow wow wow! I got an email from a woman I previously did some pro bono work for (it's a nonprofit organisation): they are looking for a someone to edit down information in a report, add in some interesting stuff and phots and produce a leaflet. I have an interview with her and the chief officer next Thursday, which is a little scary but VERY exciting! The project is right up my street and they are willing to pay up to £300. So please wish me luck

Amazing how quickly a day can go from s*** to fabulous, isn't it?

safehouse

Wonderful, wonderful, wonderful news....Good luck :j

12_month_challenge

:)Good luck aba:)

Its so what you need