Battling Debt and Mental Illness — and (hopefully) Winning!

crazy_cat_lady

Sounds great ABA - things are on the up!

AspiringButAnxious

Thanks ccl

I have posted on my blog this week, so that's one goal reached. I'm stuck on where to send my stories — there are some competition deadlines coming up, but I don't know if these stories are worth entering. Need to figure it out...

My volunteering has been taken up a notch: she wants me to research and contact as many local publications as I can. It's out of my comfort zone, but something I should be doing with my own work. It's easier to be able to say I'm doing it on behalf of a nonprofit though, so that will help me bite the bullet. I have emailed one person so far, who the lady (henceforth known as H) has contacted and said he sounds keen to help. I cc-ed H into the email and she seemed happy with what I wrote.

Received £5 from SB today, which has gone into my fun fund. I think I've lost sight of the importance of having fun lately, but it feels weird not to be bolstering my rainy day fund. If I'm awarded a grant which would allow me to do the Arvon course I want, I will have to raid my fun fund for the rest of the money! Hope I get the grant I asked for; I can cope if I get awarded one for a little less, but anything below that I would not be able to afford. It will be painful if I get a grant which isn't large enough — I'm afraid I'll be tempted to overstretch my finances so I can attend the course. I should find out if I get a grant and how much within the next week. I'm nervous, but I can't control anythig now — I did the best job I could with my application and just hope it does its job.

crazy_cat_lady

Well it sounds all positive to me. As for entering the competition - if you don't enter then you'll never know if they're good enough will you? And if you don't win, that doesn't mean that they aren't good. Good that you're getting out of your comfort zone.
And fun is SO important (says me :rotfl:)

scubaangel

Fingers crossed for the grant.

And get the comps entered, it might just motivate you to write more often and you never know if you don't enter you can't win.

Sounds like the volunteering task might just help you gain confidence for when you need to do it for yourself which is good.

Last but not least - you definitely need to allow yourself some fun! Thats why although I'm pretty skint am going to drive down to Southampton tomorrow (possibly with a friend) to visit Ikea for some bits for my new place and then going to an art exhibition at a National Trust place.

AspiringButAnxious

Thanks guys Haven't heard about grant yet — it says "awaiting documentation" on the website, which I guess just means it's being processed, since I sent the application and supporting documents via recorded delivery and it arrived on Wednesday. Trying hard not to panic/worry about it.

I'm working on redrafting one of my short stories, so that I can enter it in a particular competition — it involves shaving over 2000 words off, but I have 250 to go and it's much better for being more economical. I think I will enter the other story in a competition with a deadline coming up. Entering both comps will cost me £16, but I suppose I 've got to be in it to win it. Entry fees are a business expense, which would be great if I earnt enough to pay tax... It doesn't help that all the comps I most want to enter have deadlines a few months apart: the expense would seem less painful spread out over a year!

I'm feeling a bit blah this week. The house is upside down, because we are having a new boiler (after 3 weeks of no central heating!) and I haven't made as much progress as I would like (I know, what's new?). Nothing much has happened on the money front — just another £4 Pp from surveys, which I have plonked in my fun fund.

I know it's part of anxiety and depression, but I feel rather useless. I'm slowly working my way through my to-do list, but it seems like so little compared to what I want to do.

AspiringButAnxious

A £15 Amazon voucher from ValOp has cheered me up a little

I managed to fire off loads of emails for my voluntary work — gotten 1 straight no, 1 probably no and 1 "I'll look into it". Hopefully H will be pleased!

Today's plan is to post something on my blog, enter the story that's ready to go in a writing comp (parting with £6 in the process...) and work on the story I'm paring down for another comp.

AspiringButAnxious

Spent most of my Amazon voucher — £13 on ebooks! I will enjoy them and hopefully will be inspired by and learn from the short stories in them. It's been an expensive couple of days: forgot to mention that I bought 3 pairs of socks for £6.50 and a £2.50 bar of chocolate in Waitrose yesterday, after a long walk in leaking trainers. My aunt gave me a pair of my late uncle's walking shoes though, which are a size or so too big but will replace my trainers when they finally fall apart (I will have to stuff something in the toes or wear an extra pair of socks!).

Then today, I entered my short story into the competition I intended to enter, which cost £6 but is worth celebrating because I need to submit my stories more often. I haven't heard about the grant yet; if I haven't heard anything by the end of tomorrow, I suppose I'll email them and see what's happening. Not knowing is horrible — I'd rather just know where I stand, even if it's not the outcome I'm hoping for.

misstara

Yay for submitting your story :T good luck with it and the grant. Hope you hear something back about it soon.

AspiringButAnxious

Thanks tara

Had an appointment with a new advisor, S, at Working Links. In one 30min session, she has been more helpful and encouraging than my last advisor was over the course of several months. She is keen to help me turn my permitted work into permanent self-employment, which is great. She is so supportive — if she had been my advisor from the start, I doubt my anxiety and depression would have gotten so bad. My last advisor just couldn't be bothered. He couldn't be bothered to acknowledge my emails or help me with my work goals, which is what WL is supposed to be all about.

Anyhoo, seeing someone new was stressful, but my mum came with me and S is very nice. Plus my parents let me keep the travel expenses, which is just as well considering my dog has just gotten worming tablets. I'm saving the cash for when I go to London in March, with 2 friends (one of whom has a dad who is a train driver, so we can go for £6 each!) and meeting up with our friend who lives in London.

I'm feeling more motivated now, which is great. My counselling session this morning helped, too. I need to start making definite plans for my career — my permitted work ends in 3 and a half months, so I need to be earning at least £80 a week at that point to cover my basic expenses. Just got to stay positive...

crazy_cat_lady

That sounds brilliant. Well done on entering the competition (fingers crossed for you )
And great news about your new advisor as well.
Onwards and upwards!