Aiming for Oxford/Cambridge universities for my daughter

GoldenShadow

I am curious as to why Oxbridge?

It doesn't do as much for the CV as some might think, I know plenty of Oxbridge grads who haven't found great jobs, some no jobs at all. Despite supposedly taking the 'best', they do seem to take in a fair few who on paper look great yet don't actually have the ability to work well with others to a great degree. If they didn't do interviews I wouldn't be surprised, but they do, which is why it seems odd.

I would try and get her to think about career path first and what she wants to do, then see if it fits with Oxbridge. Really wouldn't put the uni above the subject matter though.

ETA: Unis also vary a lot on what they are top for. If she really likes, say, Geography, then I would look for the top 20 unis doing the course she likes and aim for those. She doesn't need to get A*'s to get into a top 20 uni. Definitely don't think she shouldn't aim that high, but it isn't the end of the world either. I dropped out of a very, very good uni and went to a rubbish one for personal reasons. Came out with a First and am on one of the top grad schemes in the country, so I'm a good example of going to a not so good uni and it doing no damage. Always good to plan, though.

persa

I wonder how many people slagging off Oxbridge in this thread have any experience of either university?

OP, my advice would be to encourage your DD to get the best grades she can, and to attend as many extracurricular activities as she can be bothered with. When she comes to decide if she wants to go to university and which ones she wants to apply for, she'll have more options open to her.

You can't live her life for her, and you can't push her into going to a particular university, but you can subtly help her not slam doors shut before she's even considered if she wants to peek through them.

I can honestly say that if mum hadn't pushed me into doing lots of outside activities and bribed me into getting good grades, I wouldn't be where I am today. There may have been pressure on me, but as a child, I didn't see it. There's a balance to be achieved between being encouraging and being overbearing. It can be done, and to great effect.

geek84

Hi Folks

Thanks very much indeed for your responses.

Armchair23

I'd suggest you don't push, maybe not even encourage an application but if it's what you daughter want's support her to the max, in the ways SHE asks for.

Oxbridge really doesn't suit everyone no matter how academic they are and lots of the barriers to entry are more to do with perceived expectations than actuality.

In my work life I'm surrounded by people with PHD's (and the rest) from world class Uni's . Not necessarily happier, wealthier or with a grain of common sense.

Outstanding achievements in life are so much more than what Uni you went to. Enable her happiness much more worthwhile IMHO.

amistupid

persa wrote: »

I can honestly say that if mum hadn't pushed me into doing lots of outside activities and bribed me into getting good grades, I wouldn't be where I am today.

My sons, now in their thirties, often thank me for 'pushing' them to do well at school. Their degrees/doctorate helped them secure, enjoyable, well paid jobs.

I don't think I was too overbearing when they were children, I just ensured that homework was a priority, not to be rushed, but done to the best of their ability.

onlyroz

I'm one who was rejected by Cambridge despite getting top GCSE and A Level grades. I do know other people from state school who went and did very well there. As for your daughter I'd encourage her to do well but year 9 is a bit early to start thinking about universities - she probably only has the vaguest notion of what she might want to study at A level, let alone at uni. And depending on what she wants to study, Oxbridge might not be the best place anyway.

ashtray_heart

I never had one comment about my clothes and I openly admitted buying ball gowns etc from charity shops. My dress sense is alternative and one of my best friends was a cross-dressing guy with purple hair. One of the biggest problems is that Alevel students believe that you need to be a certain type of person to go to Oxford and it simply isn't true. However it isn't the university for everyone and it doesn't offer every course. If your daughter is intetested I suggest that she looks round colleges when she is thinking about applying to get a feel for the place. If she already knows what she really wants to study I don't think year 9 is too young to encourage it e.g. if she is intetested in history encourage her to read history books or take her to places of historical interest.

onomatopoeia99

First, as others have said, it's way too soon to think about which university or even what subject. Look at her GCSE grades and see where she sits. If she's in the top 5% of her year at her school then maybe think about it, if it's something she wants to do. But, your input should be to support her decision, whatever it is. Nothing more. It's her future and by the time she has to make that decision she will be 17 or 18, which is old enough to live with the consequences of her choices.

Second, despite the inverse snobbery displayed in this thread, people from any background can get in to both of them. I started the application process (this would be 1986, so when it was still the UCCA form) but in the end decided on the University of Bristol as the structure of the course there was more to my liking than at Cambridge. As it happened, my grades at A level and the S/STEP papers would have got me in to Cambridge. Dad worked in a factory and clocked on every day, no money, power and influence in my family. The reason a higher percentage of those privately educated get in is because they get a better education than the rest of us so realise more of their potential. There were a few from private schools on my course and they had covered subject areas in school that I hadn't touched, and I was at the top of my year in Maths and Physics, and took extra lunchtime lessons in those subjects for the S level papers.

Now obviously I'm 30 years out of date, but back then the reason they did those demanding interviews for all applicants was to sort out who showed real ability in their chosen subject, not whose daddy was a stockbroker.

theoretica

It is also worth saying that the colleges can have a very different feel from each other - some colleges may feel wrong, but others be a better fit.

Bluemeanie_2

I would focus on aiming for your daughter to be a kind, giving, balanced, well rounded individual, that for fils HER full, individual potential. That is capable of having a happy life and enriching her life in a lot of other ways. I'd also teach her good budgeting skills so she is not spending her life in debt.
That is what I'm aiming for with my children.
Anything else is a bonus.