Aiming for Oxford/Cambridge universities for my daughter

Savvy_Sue

geek84 wrote: »

Over the last few weeks I was thinking if it would be a good idea to aim to get he in the top universities such as Oxford/Cambridge.

Surely, what we should be doing as parents for our teenage children is giving them the resources they need in order to grow into happy, well-rounded, resourceful adults.

It's got nothing to do with the parent aiming to get the child into a top university, or indeed any university.

It's got everything to do with the parent teaching the child how to work hard, even at things they don't enjoy, and how to deal with both success and failure. It's got everything to do with the parent teaching the child how to be a good friend to their peers, to stand up for what they believe in and not just follow the crowd.

IMO, academic success is just incidental to all that.

Beckyy

I think it depends what your daughter wants to do. University may not be something she wants. Although most schools naturally push it there are many great apprenticeship type schemes out there which can also be a good option. I would discuss the future and see where the conversation leads to.

I went to school with a lot of people who went to university and did very well but didn't end up working in the field that they studied (and paid) so hard for. Others who have worked their way up and studied via work based learning to degree level have done much better in some cases.

VfM4meplse

Why are the responses on this thread so discouraging? It's as if there is a huge jealousy of anyone who wants to apply.

If the OPs daughter is not a suitable candidate, her school tutors will be the first to make it plain.

FBaby

Also, money and privilege:

http://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2014/nov/24/oxford-cambridge-colleges-exclusively-state-school-pupils

I don't think that's what the article is saying at all.

One of my DH's friend's son got a place at Cambridge two years ago having gone to the local comprehensive, which is the school my two go to and frankly, is nothing more than average. Friend works for the local council and she's a social workerl! He is studying philosophy and economics there and is doing great.

Gigervamp

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Why are the responses on this thread so discouraging? It's as if there is a huge jealousy of anyone who wants to apply.

If the OPs daughter is not a suitable candidate, her school tutors will be the first to make it plain.

I don't think it's jealousy. It comes across that it's the OP who wants his/her child to go to Oxbridge. OP never mentions that their child has said she wants to go. It's the parents ambition, not the childs. It reminds me of the parents of those children who do the beauty pageants. It has nothing to do with what the child wants, but everything to do with what the parent wants.

SeduLOUs

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Why are the responses on this thread so discouraging? It's as if there is a huge jealousy of anyone who wants to apply.

If the OPs daughter is not a suitable candidate, her school tutors will be the first to make it plain.

It's not discouraging, it's advising not to put on pressure that may end up being counter productive. The general consensus is that it is probably a bit too early to start planning specifics of which university to attend. The daughter is highly unlikely to even know what subjects she'd like to study at that level yet and probably hasn't ever seriously considered (and researched) any career options.

Oxbridge won't be much use to her if she decides at 18 she wants to become a hairdresser or a mechanic...

gettingtheresometime

VfM4meplse wrote: »

Why are the responses on this thread so discouraging? It's as if there is a huge jealousy of anyone who wants to apply.

If the OPs daughter is not a suitable candidate, her school tutors will be the first to make it plain.

The tutors may make that plain but the OP gives me the impression that nothing less than Oxbridge will be good enough

In fact the OP reminds me of my father who regardless of how good MY results were, they were always compared to what others had achieved. Perhaps this is another reason why I cut off contact with him

SeduLOUs

gettingtheresometime wrote: »

The tutors may make that plain but the OP gives me the impression that nothing less than Oxbridge will be good enough

I probably wouldn't have interpreted the post to be that extreme, but there's a definite risk that it could appear like that to daughter if conversations aren't handled carefully.

Person_one

FBaby wrote: »

I don't think that's what the article is saying at all.

One of my DH's friend's son got a place at Cambridge two years ago having gone to the local comprehensive, which is the school my two go to and frankly, is nothing more than average. Friend works for the local council and she's a social workerl! He is studying philosophy and economics there and is doing great.

Its saying that the wealthy and the privileged are massively over-represented at Oxbridge. 7% of school pupils i the country go to private schools, but nearly half of Oxford students went to them! Personally, I don't believe the children of the well off are just that much more intelligent and talented than the other 93%. Do you?

pollypenny

As others have said, it's far too early to talk about Oxbridge.

Firstly,,just encourage your daughter to do her best. Secondly, consider what she wants to do with her life, as another university may well offer the best course.

DS had a low offer from King's, but chose to go to Salford, which is the best for his job, Environmental Health.