Aiming for Oxford/Cambridge universities for my daughter

Savvy_Sue

BritishBibliophile wrote: »

Once she's a bit older and has worked out what she wants to study at university, then look at what universities are coming out as top for that course and go to their open days.

That's good advice, because sometimes you like what you see, and sometimes you don't. (the 'you' in that sentence refers to the OP's daughter, NOT the OP herself!)

BritishBibliophile wrote: »

Yes, chances are that Oxford and Cambridge will be the top of any list, but frankly any in the top 10 will be good options to look at, without the same amount of pressure she would get at those two.

I'm not sure Oxbridge are always at the top, it depends on the subject. They don't offer all subjects either, so may not even be an option!

pinkshoes

Ability is not fixed.

Just because she isn't A* now, doesn't mean she couldn't be.

I certainly wasn't top of the odds to finish with the top GCSE grades in my year group. I was bright, but not one of the 'gifted and talented' ones. Nevertheless, I finished with straight As and got my name on a plaque!

I would just encourage her to do her best rather than aim high.

SeduLOUs

My college attempted to pressure me into applying to Oxbridge as I was a 'straight A' student, and they wanted to be able to say they sent X students there.

It absolutely wasn't for me though, and I'm extremely thankful that my parents let me decide what I wanted and didn't try to push me into a club I didn't want to join.

I probably wouldn't have passed the interviews anyway...

bouicca21

As others have said now is not the time to be setting sights on any particular uni. Now is the time to ensure that there is a broad range of subjects so that no options are closed off. As and when in 6th form, then look at the best places for whatever subject the child is interested in - assuming they are interested in going to uni. And if they do want to go to uni, it's up to them to choose which one.

Oxbridge is right for some people. They are keen on state school pupils and contrary to what some have posted it can actually be easier to get into Oxbridge for this reason than some high ranking redbricks who don't face the same pressure. It is true that both of them are awash with moneyed posh g!ts. My own DD just laughed at friends who were worried about marijuana use at their children's unis. Here, she said, they have more than enough money to stuff large quantities of the white stuff up their noses.

fed_up_and_stressed

SeduLOUs wrote: »

My college attempted to pressure me into applying to Oxbridge as I was a 'straight A' student, and they wanted to be able to say they sent X students there.

It absolutely wasn't for me though, and I'm extremely thankful that my parents let me decide what I wanted and didn't try to push me into a club I didn't want to join.

I probably wouldn't have passed the interviews anyway...

Yeah I actually had an interview without even applying ... Funny that.

I had been cherry picked as was a ruthless political debator and student activist in my youth regularly going toe to toe with mp's.

However after spending a couple of days at the college at their expense I realised I was too forthright and working class rebel so I couldn't be arsed attending the interview so went to the pub instead.

barbarawright

Why do you want her to go to Oxbridge?

lostinrates

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

That's good advice, because sometimes you like what you see, and sometimes you don't. (the 'you' in that sentence refers to the OP's daughter, NOT the OP herself!)

I'm not sure Oxbridge are always at the top, it depends on the subject. They don't offer all subjects either, so may not even be an option!

Absolutely, the subject I wanted to study was not offered there, so as far as I was concerned neither was a possibility. My husband and both his siblings went though and I do not recognise the 'high stress' situation for them, perhaps because they were not push or over boiled to get there? ( all had state education though, albeit with lots of other input and from a highly academic family.). They enjoyed their time tremendously, had good social life and yes, did some work...what its meant to be about! fwiw my DH says he found his undergrad course at Oxford far less 'demanding' in terms of procedure than one of his post post grad courses at a former poly.

Missyhenry

pinkshoes wrote: »

Ability is not fixed.

Just because she isn't A* now, doesn't mean she couldn't be.

I certainly wasn't top of the odds to finish with the top GCSE grades in my year group. I was bright, but not one of the 'gifted and talented' ones. Nevertheless, I finished with straight As and got my name on a plaque!

I would just encourage her to do her best rather than aim high.

I don't think there's anything wrong with aiming high - even if you don't achieve your aim you're likely to manage something pretty good.

DomRavioli

Hi OP,

Firstly, you are putting undue pressure on your daughter. She's 13/14, its not time to decide which uni you're going to yet.

As someone who had an unconditional offer to Cambridge back in 2003, I chose to study at UMIST for a number of reasons, mostly because I don't feel like I belong with those kind of people.

It is for your daughter to decide, not you; it seems that because maybe you didn't get what you wanted out of life you're trying to shove your daughter into making decisions that don't need to be made for 3-4 years.

Just stop. No need.

amistupid

geek84 wrote: »

Over the last few weeks I was thinking if it would be a good idea to aim to get he in the top universities such as Oxford/Cambridge.

Encouraging your child to work hard at school is commendable but academic aspirations must be realistically achievable, pressurising them too much and setting your sights too high may be counter productive.