I WILL get there!!

lincs1205

With your determination kirsty I'm sure that you'll smash your target, when's your birthday?. I'm being nosy I have to admit . Good luck

kirtsypoos

Thanks Tink! I'm on day 6 of no smoking and day 3 of no eating so better than I expected if I'm honest!

Although cooking BBQ pulled pork for a groups of friends who are coning over tonight will be fun. The strange thing is I love cooking and really miss it when I'm doing Cambridge so although sometimes it's heard not to eat it when it smells so good, I relish doing it! In fact I've been planning it since I had my first shake on Monday morning :rotfl:
BBQ pulled pork with rosemary roasted sweet potato, hasselback potatoes for those who don't like sweet potato, broccoli and crusty bread. Plus a chicken, onion and red pepper curry for OHs lunches next week. Yum! I just hope I can be strong enough not to taste test

Thanks lincs, it's the end of March. It's actually falling on Good Friday this year which is fab as I get a whole long weekend off to celebrate my 30th :beer:

Kitten868

Hello! I don't know how I haven't found you sooner - we had our lbm sat the same time!
I've just read your whole diary. Congratulations on the house! Really glad you were just stressing about your relationship being 'too soon'. He's made your home buying dreams come true!
I also suffer from endo and its horrid!! What pain relief are you on? I've found that diclofenac is the only pain relief that can touch it - I can't do feeling out of it either so these are good... Well stop me screaming. Now I'm going to throw something odd in the mix. The only relief I've had was after my first and during my second pregnancy and now (dd2 is 6 months). Don't get me wrong it doesn't vanish but I have so many days where I'm not in pain! Months even!!!! I am different to you in that I was told I could never have children and that 'I might as well try before my hysterectomy' and so became pregnant at 22. So I didn't get a time frame or anything so it was an easy decision but it could help with your pain and bring everything you wanted all at once my lbm was what I had instead of nesting bizarrely but it has stuck and despite being on SMP I have been doing well paying off debt (those reading my diary may disagree lol) and nowhere near as much as you but enough that I can sleep at night
Well done on your amazing debt busting x

kirtsypoos

Hi Kitten! Gosh that's a lot of patience to read through 19 pages of my ramblings, thanks!

I'm on tramadol 100mg and amitryptiline and I've got the mirena in to try and slow endometrial growth. I had prostap a few years ago but I couldn't bear the hot flushes and the risks of osteoporosis attached to chemical menopause. I can't take diclofenac or naproxen anymore because I have stomach problems (probably caused by taking so many NSAIDS in the past to try and combat the pain )

A few people have said that to me, in fact after my last surgery the Consultant told OH that we should start trying immediately....given that we had only been together 6 months and he hadn't long been in the Country it completely shocked and freaked him out!
It's something that I think about all the time but I panic at the thought of not being debt free before it happens as I'm not sure I'd even be able to do minimum payments with SMP and it wouldn't be fair for OH to take on my debts, especially as some of them stem from a previous boyfriend.
I definitely want to try sooner rather than later though, especially now we have the house sorted I think my aim is to get my debt under £10,000 before we try as then if it happens straight away I won't be up **** creek in terms of payments but if it takes a while I'll still have another focus rather than concentrating on 'that time of the month'. I just cross my fingers it does happen. A very close friend of mine has never had any issues but is currently going through IVF as they've been TTC for 5 years...I try not to think about that as it stresses me out!

Thanks for giving me hope that the docs are wrong! I love hearing stories like yours, it gives me something to aim towards

Thanks for stopping in! I'm off to find your diary now!

lincs1205

Kirsty your menu sounds absolutely delicious, I'm sitting here with my mouth watering lol. Have you got anything planned for your 30th birthday?.

Kitten868

Well, the 'average, normal' couple (ie no issues) takes about 2 years to conceive and at the rate you're going you'll have paid it all off by then! I was told both times I had no chance of conceiving for different reasons. I fell for dd1 in the first month of trying!
I have those tablets but I'm too wimpy to take them. I hate feeling out of it. I would rather be in pain and know what day it is than be in pain and completely loopy. Plus you get full pay while pregnant. I'm not nagging I just don't want you to think I missed out so I could pay off debt. I know that is the worst thing ever but I want you to see that it's ok to put yourself first in this. My sister likes to make me feel bad about the fact that I fell pregnant with debt, with a flat (not a house) and before I was married. I am a Jezebel and a moron, obviously. But I would never change that as the most important thing I wanted to do with my life is be a mum. Others have other priorities and that's fine but this is mine.
I promise I'm really not trying to pressure you, I'm just trying to put to you that it is ok to make it a priority if you want it to be.
Have you decorated the whole house now? Hubby says I can't paint mine x

kirtsypoos

Thanks lincs, it looked and smelled amazing if I do say so myself, but I was strong and didn't have any, even a little taste! I even did chocolate brownies for dessert, I really was testing myself :rotfl:
Myself and a friend are doing a joint celebration weekend away, just to a caravan park/large house for about 20 of us. It's the weekend after my birthday so I think for the day I'll just spend time with OH and my parents and mope about turning 30

Thanks Kitten, that's what I keep telling myself but I have to remind myself it's up to OH as well. If it was down to just me I would probably start trying after my birthday but he wants to get home to see his parents and ship the rest of his stuff over before we start a family, so we are trying to budget and save for that beforehand. It seems like there's so much to do before I can have what I've always wanted but I don't want to leave it too late. I'm so torn!

To be honest my debt has always played on my mind and I don't know why I never had an LBM when I was younger but it's too late for shoulda, woulda, coulda.

Ignore your sister, I can't bear it when people judge the decisions of others, particularly knowing the circumstances you were going through! My grandparents are very old fashioned and very much believe in marriage before babies (way more than I am, to me it's a bonus but not a necessity) but even my grandma said that if that's the way it has to happen to allow me to be a mom she is behind me every step of the way. She made me cry a lot with that!

We have only decorated the bathroom and hall, stairs and landing at the moment. Still the kitchen to do, freshen up the living room and eventually our bedroom but it's going to be slow going...paint is way more expensive than I imagined! How come hubby doesn't want you to paint?

Kitten868

I was so worried I was going to upset you but I just couldn't let you think that something so important to you wasn't a priority. I think I just see people go through it and I hate it for them. I don't think he's being too unreasonable and I think it's really sweet that he wants to do this symbolic thing (bring all his stuff to England) so that he can start his life with you in England. Like he's drawing a line on that chapter to start the next one with you. But I would say come off contraception ahead of trying to give it a chance to leave your system so when you start trying your body can go for it i would go with him as I think it means a lot to him.
You're doing a brilliant job painting! The hall/staircase is the worst by far! Well done you!
Don't get yourself upset with the shoulda woulda coulda. It's done and it's taught you lots of lessons. X

kirtsypoos

Thanks Kitten, not upsetting at all! I completely agree in some ways - if I miss out on being a Mom because I was too scared to go for it when I had some outstanding debt I'll kick myself for the rest of my life but I need to be in a place mentally where I'm comfortable with the level of debt that I can pay off whilst adequately looking after a child (or 3 haha)
OH isn't in the best paid job, I earn a fair bit per year more so it's not financially viable for him to pay all the bills and my debts, he simply doesn't earn enough, which is one of the reasons I want to get it to as low as possible before we start a family. If we are only paying actual bills we will be comfortable, but £600 per month in debt payments will cripple us!
I'll be having the coil removed in the next year anyway as my body eats them! (supposed to last 5 years but mine only last 2.5 no wonder I'm always emotional!) so we can re-look at it then fingers crossed!

kirtsypoos

After your posts Kitten, I realised I had not been entirely honest with myself or OH about when I wanted to start trying. I've been very vague in case it freaks him out (we both had some pretty significant commitmentphobia when we got together...not that you'd know it these days - buying a house is a pretty big commitment!) but occasionally it hits one or both of us and we have a bit of a freak out.

It's been my turn this week, and I haven't been very easy to live with for the past week so last night we sat down and had a 3 hour talk about what's going on in my head and what we can do to make it easier...and lastly talked about children.

OH said that my newest goddaughter has been a godsend. He isn't generally a kiddie person and was not happy around them, but since she has come along he's very fond of her and loves it if he's the one that cheers her up or stops her crying. On Wednesday he had her squealing and giggling for ages doing silly dances so I videoed it and he's watched the video about 5 times :rotfl: I think he just needs some confidence around kids.

He asked if I would keep him fully informed after my next appt if he can't come with me, and not worry about how it affects him as how it affects me is the most important thing. We discussed how devastated I would be if we left it too late, but how I want to balance that with clearing my debt. I think we are on the same page now, and we are both working on how to communicate better.

I really need to work on a plan to save for NZ as well. Even if I can't go, I can't ask him not to, this is as important to him as not missing the fertility boat is to me, so time to knuckle down and do a budget with him so he can see what he needs to do.

I'm working today as I'm so behind due to a massive workload and far too many contracts coming in all at once, so tomorrow will be cleaning and sorting out some more boxes. I feel quite embarrassed that we've been in for 8 weeks and still can't get to the spare bed