I WILL get there!!

enthusiasticsaver

I have always been a saver due to the fact my dad was careful with money although he wasn’t tight, he just knew where and what he was spending on. My careful money habits came from him and the fact when I worked in a bank in the 70s and early 80s staff had to demonstrate good financial acumen. Overdrafts were a disciplinary offence and loans and mortgages were scored tighter for staff than normal customers. When I did arrears counselling and counselled a lot of people in heavy debt it tipped me even further towards being a saver rather than a borrower.

Consequently I don’t think it is bad you are now careful with money. I think in the back of your mind you know the next year will be expensive and are stockpiling for that reason. As for judging others you can get over that by thinking, as I do many times on here that you can advise but ultimately you are not responsible how others are with money. If your parents are awful with money it may be best not to mention it at all as I would be worried about you being called on to bail them out. That is not your job. If they ask for help suggest budgeting tips and leave it at that. Re loosening the purse strings enough to have fun I think so long as you have a budgeted amount for trips, holidays, entertainment or clothes etc then you can tell yourself you are spending in budget. It is uncontrolled spending which is bad. I love spending on meals out and theatre trips and my budget is tightly controlled to allow for that. You will find it easier as you move from paying off debt to saving for the future.

enthusiasticsaver

A word or two about your savings accounts. I thoroughly agree with having separate pots and we do the same. The FD regular saver is a good choice and saving for things to be done to the house in a separate account is also wise.

I do seem to recall you mentioning the Scottish Friendly S and S ISA and the performance/charges for it. I am not convinced it is worth you investing a relatively small amount into stocks and shares especially if the charges are quite high. I just googled the moneybuilder ISA which is invested in a unitised profit fund and is very cautious and consequently low reward. This may be why the performance is fairly poor. In your situation you may be better off using regular savers or extra payments into your pension if you are saving long term but I know there is a financial penalty if you withdraw within 5 years. At the very least it gets you used to saving a small amount each month but I would not expect it to perform outstandingly.

The reason you find it harder to spend cash than withdrawing other money from accounts is that it is always harder to part with physical cash and hence the reason I always suggest someone new to budgeting use cash for weekly spends rather than cards. Most of us think more about what the money is being used for when parting with notes than handing over a debit card.

kirtsypoos

Thanks es - I often wonder where I'd be now if my current ideas about spending had been my thoughts from a young age, but all I can do is appreciate that I am no longer in a terrible position and there is no point wondering what if.

I agree about the Scottish friendly fund, the only draw to it was a large amount of cashback which is more than covering the current loss of £15, but also the fact I can't access it makes me happy - it is due to mature around the time of the remortgage so I'm hoping that will go towards any mortgage arrangement fees. I want to get used to thinking that I can't access money, rather than I won't if that makes any sense?

I've upped my pension contributions from April - pointless whilst I'm on mat leave, but I planned to do it last year so I knew if I left it until after mat leave, I wouldn't be able to factor it in to my workings. This way I have no choice but to factor it in, because it's already done if that makes sense?

I do enjoy hoarding cash and I actually hate putting it into the bank - I've made a couple of FB sales this week and whilst it's no great amount, I love the fact I have a bit of extra cash in the house. It's covering our carpet fitter today with a bit spare so that makes me very happy as the carpet fitter money was allocated in the house fund, so that is now a little more than the budget says it would be - lucky as OH had to fill the other car yesterday so this will cover that shortfall.

I had planned to go to IKEA today to get some shelving for the nursery but honestly I can't be bothered so am going to go once my half days start properly at work. It's crowds that drive me mad at the moment so hopefully during the week I will have a better chance of it being quieter. Todays plan is to declutter the spare bedroom as all the baby stuff is arriving from my parents (where it's been stored) next weekend and we need somewhere to store it while we decide what goes where.

Have a lovely Saturday everyone! xx

sashybo

Hi Kirsty,

Sorry to hear the tablets are giving you more discomfort, not really what you need on top of everything else.

Try not to stress too much about how to teach the baby how to deal with money - it will a long time before you need to do it really. I think it’s mostly an example thing, so if he sees you being sensible with money then that’s what he’ll think is normal. Saving money for things you want/need and not being scared to spend money at all. You can teach him about budgeting etc when he’s old enough but I don’t think I really had a clue until I left home!

We have a savings account for our DS in his name & we put any money he’s gifted in there for future use for things like swimming lessons etc. When he’s old enough he can decide if he wants to save or spend any Christmas/birthday money he then receives. DH’s parents were always over the top about not spending money/you must save etc and that pushed him in completely the opposite direction towards the spend, spend, spend mindset when he left home. :eek: So it’s a difficult thing & also depends on your DS’s character - he might be a natural saver!

enthusiasticsaver

kirtsypoos wrote: »

Thanks es - I often wonder where I'd be now if my current ideas about spending had been my thoughts from a young age, but all I can do is appreciate that I am no longer in a terrible position and there is no point wondering what if.

I agree about the Scottish friendly fund, the only draw to it was a large amount of cashback which is more than covering the current loss of £15, but also the fact I can't access it makes me happy - it is due to mature around the time of the remortgage so I'm hoping that will go towards any mortgage arrangement fees. I want to get used to thinking that I can't access money, rather than I won't if that makes any sense?

I've upped my pension contributions from April - pointless whilst I'm on mat leave, but I planned to do it last year so I knew if I left it until after mat leave, I wouldn't be able to factor it in to my workings. This way I have no choice but to factor it in, because it's already done if that makes sense?

I don't think it matters that it took you a while to recognise the benefits of good money management. You are virtually debt free, you have a home and are overpaying the mortgage, you have a pension and savings so you are in a good position.

I think putting money away for the future so you cannot easily access it is a good idea so long as you have emergency savings which you obviously do. The next few years will be expensive in terms of reduced pay if you go to part time and child care is expensive so unless your OH is a high earner realistically there won't be lots spare until your DC is older.

Once they are though and you have spare money I would suggest you look into investing in a highly diversified fund which minimises risk of loss and perhaps choose a multi asset fund with low charges (like one of the Vanguard lifestrategy funds). It is very easy to DIY invest these days and the returns are so much better than savings accounts but of course not guaranteed so you need to be aware of the risks.

What I would say is that I would not have been able to retire early on my pension alone especially as I took it 8 years early. My pension planning involved not only overpaying into a pension but also investing in a stocks and shares isa (Vanguard lifestrategy) regular savers and term deposits and clearing the mortgage early.

Personally though I would not consider it until you can easily afford a minimum of £50 per month but that is just me. When you get to a point of thinking about it post on the savings and investing board.

kirtsypoos

I'll definitely have a wander over the the savings and investments board when I have a bit more spare money (does that ever happen after children?!) as it's something I'm keen to look into. My grandparents have always been very into shares and investing well so it's something I may discuss with them too. They will be thrilled that I'm taking their financial views into account and it will be good to spend more time with them

Sashy I think that's my worry - my grandparents can be a bit OTT about not spending and I think it sent my mom the other way, so I want to be careful of that without just encouraging him to spend willy nilly! Once he is born I will open a bank account in his name, at the moment his money is just in one of my savings accounts.

We have agreed that we will set a limit on grandparents for presents, anything they want to spend over the limit will need to be in money for his bank account - I don't want a house full of rubbish that he never uses and it's such a waste of money! We will see how my parents feel about that, I can sense a few heated discussions :cool:

Back at work full time this week - already not feeling it :rotfl: Roll on half days - 5th Feb can't come quick enough for me.

Baby seems to be having a daily growth spurt and I'm dreading the appearance of noticeable stretch marks - at the moment they are silver as I'm just re-stretching old ones from the days of extreme overweightness :rotfl:

Medication seems to be bringing my sugars down though, which is a bonus as I really don't fancy injecting insulin for any longer than necessary - hoping to keep to the tablets for as long as I can. Let's just hope little one plays ball and comes a couple of weeks early, that would help with controlling sugars!

Really well meaning friends keep giving me lists of things to take to the hospital - they all include haribo or chocolate and lucozade - I know they mean well but I'm not allowed any of that because of the diabetes, it could be dangerous for the baby if my sugars are uncontrolled during labour and I don't want him to have to go to special care unless absolutely necessary - and certainly not because I wasn't disciplined enough with my snacks during labour, but one in particular keeps insisting that it will be fine and just to drink the lucozade :mad:

sashybo

I don’t think I got any stretch marks until about 4 weeks before my due date Kirsty. I was quite shocked at how red they were but they have faded a lot now DS is nearly 8 months old and hopefully they’ll fade even more.

Yes the money thing is difficult but I think as long as you’re open with DS about money & not dictating to him about what to do with it when he’s older then it should be ok. In the end we all have to learn through experience.

A bit annoying about the friend who keeps insisting on the lucozade - I take it telling her that the midwives/consultant doesn’t recommend it due to the gestational diabetes hasn’t helped? Just tell her you’ll take what the midwives/doctors advise? When I was in labour in the midwife unit they supplied me with food (tea, toast, biscuits, lucozade & chocolate pudding), DH even got sandwiches, he was chuffed. :rotfl: So we didn’t need to take any food in with us. I didn’t have anything in the consultant led unit though so not sure what the usual is there.

I don’t know that I used half the stuff I was told to take to hospital. I know I didn’t take enough nighties or maternity pads for myself but at least DH could get them from home afterwards. Disposable pants were definitely the best thing I had for the first few days whilst in hospital. I didn’t know they existed until someone told me. :rotfl: one thing that annoyed me was that my dressing gown didn’t have any pockets. I’m also taking a small pull along suitcase if there’s a next time - much easier for DH than carrying 3 bags (mine, his & baby’s) plus a bag of nappies.

enthusiasticsaver

We ended up taking in lots of spare flannels for my DD after she had her first baby and plenty of maternity pads.

Just tell your friend you have gestational diabetes so cannot take in sweet stuff. I think you do need to eat regularly so I guess maybe protein bars and water or squash would be useful.

My DD will be having a C section after having pre eclampsia, breech and Emergency C Section with her first but I think she is pleased she wont be made to go through 30 hours of labour first.

It sounds like you are more like your grandparents than your parents with money and getting advice off them is sensible when perhaps looking at investing for your little one and the future is on the cards. It is difficult to find spare money for savings when you have children but not impossible and you soon get used to doing without it. My OH was putting 10% into his pension from his mid twenties and it was hard seeing that go out of his salary initially but we adjusted and that was the prime reason why we retired early as that forms the cornerstone of our early retirement plan. I think with money there needs to be a balance between saving for the medium term and long term and keeping some fun money back too for the present.

Re setting limits on presents, that is something I would not worry about until it happens. No sense in pre-empting problems but maybe some suggestions would be better when it comes to parents either buying bits for baby before or after birth and birthdays/Christmas. I put £10 a month into a junior isa for my granddaughter and my daughter and son in law match it. I will do the same for the next granddaughter due in May. My daughter is not keen for any more to go into it as they will have access to it at 18 and she doesn't think a large amount of money should be in their control at that age. I respect that and any more we wish to give we will give to my daughter and son in law. Hopefully your parents will respect your wishes.

kirtsypoos

Woke up with a terrible migraine yesterday so didn't make it into work, and I still feel a bit ropey today so am having a duvet day - headache just doesn't seem to be shifting. Blood pressure etc is fine so it's probably stress. Things aren't great at home at the moment which can't be helping. I'll be fine though. I always am eventually

I will do a proper update at some point but I'm off to have a lie down while listening to sleep affirmations and hope I can actually get some rest!

abba1772

Hope you get some sleep Kirsty xx