I WILL get there!!

kirtsypoos

I've been wondering how you're getting on Kitten How's the house?

Please don't think I'm being rude by saying this, but the biggest annoyance I have at the moment is people telling me to relax - I am doing temping and OPKs - as advised by the doctor and to be honest doing them have been a godsend - I know exactly where I am - which months my body is doing what it's supposed to and which it's decided to act up for whatever reason.
When we first started trying (before we even said out loud that's what we were doing ) we were chilled out but now I wish I'd started tracking sooner as my system wasn't doing what it was supposed to and that alone stressed me out. I feel much calmer now I can pinpoint what is happening. It's definitely what is right for me, at the moment.

crazy_cat_lady

Kirsty - come and decorate my house once you've done yours. I just really can't be bothered

Bobarella

Kirsty - I know it's not the same, but it took us a year to conceive DD after literally coming off the pill and being pg in 1 month with DS. I felt so alone for that whole time. I couldn't tell anyone IRL and don't think I mentioned it here either. I got as far as having a scan to check my ovaries were ok and the next step would have been to get DH checked. And a month later we were off.
I haven't forgotten that feeling at all. Even though the doctor was very reassuring saying that up to 18 months is considered normal, I felt so bad. So I do know what you are saying and I know you have had much more cause for worry than that too.
Do whatever makes you feel best.

kirtsypoos

Thank you Bob - I suppose I need to remember that 12-18 months is normal under 'normal' circumstances - I think I'm over-worrying because when the gynae originally said within 2 years, that was almost 2 years ago and I'm paranoid I missed my chance.
I'm so sorry you felt so alone though. It is such a difficult time. I kept it to myself for the first 5 months, then I joined the TTC thread on here but I was so paranoid that someone might see my posts and figure out from my username that it was me, I didn't even admit to the lovely ladies on there that we'd been trying already, just that we were about to start paranoia central!

I spoke to a friend about it in March and since then I've just found it easier to talk about it rather than worry about it myself. Plus OH finds the ins and outs of my cycle off putting to say the least :rotfl: and I need to talk about it - I'm very much a talker when it comes to problems.

There are people I regret telling. My dad is one but he and my mom turned up to visit just as I found out another month hadn't worked and I was in a bit of a state so I couldn't hold it in - far too emotional for my own good.

Speaking of, I have been in since stupidly early this morning just watching the news and reading online articles about this latest terror attack. They are always devastating but this one seems particularly cruel - to target a place which will be largely filled with kids is beyond comprehension.

monz

keep your chin up love it will happen xxxx

kirtsypoos

Thanks Monz just having a bit of an emotional day with everything going on x

XSpender

Hi Kirstypoos

I have spent the last few days reading your diary and am amazed and so impressed with what you have achieved while buying a house, twice!

DH and I merged finance quite quickly but we were both up to our eyeballs in debt so it didn't matter much. He has never had anything to do with the account (his choice) and I would rather he was more involved so that when he wants to buy something for the house or spend more than our personal spends he can see it is not in the budget (I am a YNAB obsessive ) and I don't have to say no like a parent to a child which sometimes means I say yes and mess up the budget.

Good luck with the baby making. I have 1 child conceived through IVF after one attempt. We tried for nearly 3 years but time was running out for us as I was 39 when we conceived. We were diagnosed with unexplained infertility although a few years later I was diagnosed with Coeliac disease which can cause infertility if not treated. What used to wind me up along with the 'it will happen if you forget about it' comments were the anecdotes about people who had kids later, in their forties, but they had already had a family naturally when they were younger so obviously didn't have fertility problems. :mad: Getting preggers is such an easy thing for most people that they don't know what to say when others struggle.

I should mention that DH says that the reason we got pregnant on our first IVF attempt was that I had just ran a marathon a few weeks before we started treatment so was as fit as a lop but I wouldn't recommend that as a strategy :rotfl:

kirtsypoos

Wow XSpender - thank you so much for reading my ramblings! I hope it wasn't too much of a trawl for you.

I know exactly what you mean about saying no like a parent - that's how I feel with OH sometimes and how wonderful that the IVF worked on your first attempt, I'm sure it didn't hurt that you were so fit, but I'm not convinced I'd ever have it in me to run a marathon - I struggle getting my daily steps in most days :rotfl:

Unexplained infertility always strikes me as a strange one - most people I have spoken to who were diagnosed as unexplained later found they had a non reproductive disease which had or could affect fertility - you would think more research would be done into other areas before a 'diagnosis' is given.

Tinkerbelle2000

Wow, wow and wow Kirsty. I've only been gone a month and look at everything that has happened, I'm in shock but I am soooo pleased for you. Nearly DF and all those lovely holidays booked.

I'm going to keep everything crossed for the baby making, you deserve this so much.

So, I'm back, hopefully to stay. I'll catch up with my diary tonight as I have lots to tell, some good some not so good but for the best.

How are the little ones? I bet you are still having lots of cuddles thought and I bet they aren't so small anymore.

Take care.

Tink xx

kirtsypoos

Tink I'm so pleased to hear from you - I hope you are in a good place now, even with the not so good stuff going on.

They are amazing. The niece is still a little dot - she's 8 months and 1 week and weighs about 15.5lbs. She's back in the Doctors this week as they are concerned by how small she is *lots of eyerolling going on here* she is as bright as a button and every baby is different - I don't see why they insist on stressing parents out by saying they are too big or too small.
Little man is a bruisers! Total other end of the percentiles, he's lovely and very smiley. He came for a sleepover (with his mom and dad) last week and it was lovely to have a happy gurgly baby in the house

There's a new little one too, he's 8 weeks old and beautiful and 2 more due in October - it's a baby boom around these parts :rotfl:

Really hope you're ok Tink xx