I'm really scared about my son

ravilious_fan

There is never a good time to leave someone who is mentally unstable. When should she have left him? When he got home? He would just have taken another overdose, making her feel guilty for it.

pigpen

winter is over.. the weather is only set to improve (you can hope!) so there is no reason he cant use the motorbike now.. it is glorious sunshine here right now!

what is the car worth? is it really worth arguing over and causing himself more distress?? Sometimes it is easier to let things go and replace them in time. They are just things, not part of him and his physical and mental are far more important than stuff.

I'm glad he has made steps along the road to recovery.. but I'd have left him too.. having that kind of emotional hold over someone must be crippling.. better sooner than later but she should have let you know so you could be with him.. you, and he are in our thoughts xx

RuthnJasper

Frogletina wrote: »

An update.

The day my son left hospital his wife left him.

He took more pills a couple of weeks later but this time he was only in hospital overnight and thankfully not as serious.

Now he is going through a traumatic divorce. He has a car which was put in his wife's name (to avoid her loss of no claims) while she was driving a company car and he also had a motorbike.

Before they split she changed her job and she had a new car which was put in her name. Bought with a loan by the two of them but she paid that off and took out a new loan for it.

Now she is claiming his car and a share in the motorbike.

Without a car he is worried about how to get to work as he doesn't feel he can use the bike this winter. He had a couple of heart attacks in recent years and other health problems.

Cited in the divorce papers is that he never wanted to go out (mostly because his work is so tiring that he was exhausted when he returned home) and that he tried to commit suicide!

He has no savings, and although may be able to pay the mortgage he is unlikely to be able to increase it to buy her out of their property. I will do what I can to enable him to stay in his home.

I feel incredibly sad that his marriage has ended - I really liked his wife, and it all seems so out of character. But his life changed that night and her reactions to it, in hindsight, trouble me.

frogletina

Thank you for the update, though terribly sad news. I don't know what to advise for the best, except to keep on being there for your son.


Every good wish to you. xx

Frogletina

He is not arguing over the assets, he says she can have what she wants. I was just stating what she'd asked for as a settlement. To raise funds to pay her half of what the bike is worth, he would need to sell it.

I probably should not have resurrected this thread, it really was to update those who supported me thorough that difficult week.

frogletina

pigpen

he could keep it though by saying he needs it to get to work.. the courts wouldnt make is impossible to keep his job.

peachyprice

That seems a bit harsh of her if she already has a car of her own. If he's up to it I would encourage him to contest that, at the very least he should get to keep the bike, which he could sell to buy another car.

Frogletina

peachyprice wrote: »

That seems a bit harsh of her if she already has a car of her own. If he's up to it I would encourage him to contest that, at the very least he should get to keep the bike, which he could sell to buy another car.

I'm not sure he is up to it. He just wants an end to this, including all the emails requesting this and that, especially since she often goes to the house and takes what she wants when he is not there. He often doesn't know what has gone until he looks for it.

RuthnJasper

Frogletina wrote: »

He is not arguing over the assets, he says she can have what she wants. I was just stating what she'd asked for as a settlement. To raise funds to pay her half of what the bike is worth, he would need to sell it.

I probably should not have resurrected this thread, it really was to update those who supported me thorough that difficult week.

frogletina

I know it's an awful situation. But I am glad that you posted an update. As much as we are concerned for your son and his situation, I am always keen to hear from posters whose threads I've read in the past.


You are suffering along with your son, and effectively grieving for the end of his marriage. Do make sure that you look after yourself too Frogletina - and feel free to post whatever you need to if it helps you to vent a bit.


Every good wish. x

busiscoming2

It's a horrible situation but thank you for the update. x

[Deleted User]

So sorry to hear what is going on. Its so tough for everyone.

Having lived with someone who was a bit difficult to live with, your ex DIL may feel your son is being manipulative.., but of course, someone who's depressed can't help being manipulative. And now, of course, its a very difficult situation for anyone to cope with, divorce, practically and emotionally is so difficult.

I hope your son is getting some psychological help. Not just from you (thank goodness you are there for him) but from the NHS. A lot of GPs do a six week referral scheme. If you or he contacts MIND and asks if such a scheme runs in your area, it might help him. It can be extended where needed. There may be a community mental health team in his area as well.

Please look after yourself as well. Sending hugs and wishing I could give you one personally.