It's all going a bit wrong (and son has Aspergers).

littleredhen

Sending you a hug, will post more later, can you make a doctors appointment for yourself. I won't bore you with my story but I take anti depressants and they really help, unless you look after yourself,first and foremost you will not be able to help your son, take care of yourself, today please

WantToBeSE

Thanks littleredhen.

I dont think i necessarily need any tablets, as i dont feel depressed, just worn out and a bit down.

I just need a decent sleep to be honest. His night time behaviour means that i dont get more than 6 hours, and its unbroken sleep.

Rummer

How are you feeling today?

Corelli

https://www.gov.uk/disability-living-allowance-children/how-to-claim Phone today, the forms will arrive in a couple of days, you are given a fair bit of time to fill them in and your award will be backdated from the date of the phone call. There is probably something similar online, but IME these forms are HARD emotionally and factually so having the printed ones sent worked best for me. I actually had four lots sent to me over the last few years but never managed to claim until last year. That says more about me than the system though. Do get help.

WantToBeSE

Hi Rummer.

I am feeling tired and frustrated to be honest. I (and my son) have been totally blind sighted by the news that he has Aspergers. I wish that the waiting list to see the psychiatrist wasn't so long, as his sleep and anxiety are just so awful.

I am considering making an application for him for DLA. I didn't think that he would be able to claim it, as i am working? Is that right?

I dont know what on Earth i am going to do financially and it's worrying me to death to be honest.

He is such a lovely boy, so kind and gentle (most of the time anyway) and he is taking it all in his stride, but his anxiety makes his life so hard.
I managed to get him out of the house on Tuesday, for a bike ride. It was the first time he had left the house in over a week. It scares me to think about what his future holds. He really wants to go to college at some point...

WantToBeSE

Corelli wrote: »

https://www.gov.uk/disability-living-allowance-children/how-to-claim Phone today, the forms will arrive in a couple of days, you are given a fair bit of time to fill them in and your award will be backdated from the date of the phone call. There is probably something similar online, but IME these forms are HARD emotionally and factually so having the printed ones sent worked best for me. I actually had four lots sent to me over the last few years but never managed to claim until last year. That says more about me than the system though. Do get help.

Thanks Coreli.

I feel really conflicted about getting DLA for him. I am not sure why.

littleredhen

Just wanted to say that I hope I didn't offend you when I suggested anti depressants, they have really helped me since my ex and I split, he now lives with my ex best friend and her kids. My own kids have had a tough time and now my eldest doesn't go to school (17) and stays in all day and suffers from anxiety. It has crept up on us. But for me the anti d's help give me some strength to carry on. I have also used Breathing Space, helpline and counselling just to talk over how I am feeling. You perhaps just need to be in that place of acceptance with the diagnosis and what it means for you and your son, do you have family support?

WantToBeSE

littleredhen wrote: »

Just wanted to say that I hope I didn't offend you when I suggested anti depressants, they have really helped me since my ex and I split, he now lives with my ex best friend and her kids. My own kids have had a tough time and now my eldest doesn't go to school (17) and stays in all day and suffers from anxiety. It has crept up on us. But for me the anti d's help give me some strength to carry on. I have also used Breathing Space, helpline and counselling just to talk over how I am feeling. You perhaps just need to be in that place of acceptance with the diagnosis and what it means for you and your son, do you have family support?

Oh gosh, no you didnt offend me at all LRH

Do you mind me asking if your 17 year old gets any financial help? I am hoping that he will be able to pick up an education at some point, even if it means having to do a course through the OU or something...

No i dont have any support at all, its just me and my 2 children.

happyandcontented

WantToBeSE wrote: »

Hi Rummer.

I am feeling tired and frustrated to be honest. I (and my son) have been totally blind sighted by the news that he has Aspergers. I wish that the waiting list to see the psychiatrist wasn't so long, as his sleep and anxiety are just so awful.

I am considering making an application for him for DLA. I didn't think that he would be able to claim it, as i am working? Is that right?

I dont know what on Earth i am going to do financially and it's worrying me to death to be honest.

He is such a lovely boy, so kind and gentle (most of the time anyway) and he is taking it all in his stride, but his anxiety makes his life so hard.
I managed to get him out of the house on Tuesday, for a bike ride. It was the first time he had left the house in over a week. It scares me to think about what his future holds. He really wants to go to college at some point...

Many colleges have specific departments tailored to students like your son. They can provide 1.1 support in class and at breaks so that he can study the course of his choice. Once you get him stablised and ready to try to move forward you could look at what the local colleges offer. Good luck.

littleredhen

My dd is officially still at school and I have been to several meetings to get her back there, the latest one before we broke up for summer (in Scotland)
I almost laughed out loud because (dd is very clever but only managed one higher this year) so the learning support teacher came to the meeting and said to my dad, you need to take the summer off (omg she hasn't been at school for months!!) and get yourself healthy and out for walks and eating healthily and then we will help you get back to school in August. I was speechless as I felt like saying "oh is that what we need to do why didn't someone tell me sooner"
Both my kids are adopted so they have an extra layer to deal with.
Life is tough a lot of the time, my ex and I don't speak and he is still paying maintenance, as she is still officially at school I get child benefit and tax credits but I am dreading to think what might happen if that stops.