14 year relationship coming to an end

gabriel1980

Personally I don't think doing stuff online is cheating. He may have been just looking for some female attention, that he left he was lacking, low self-esteem etc. Could have been the same the first time, but I agree meeting up is definitely going too far and that is definitely cheating. Although on the other hand it depends what they did.


How did you find out about it the first and second time?

monalithic2012

I've been reading all the replies to this thread with interest. I really think that once your in a relationship you try your damn hardest to stay faithful to the other person, there is no excuse for cheating. I know that she loves him but he's done it twice already and he is addicted to meeting these women and won't stop. You need to take a step back from this situation and seriously think, if you forgive him again what will he do next to upset you. Cut your losses and find a guy who'll actually stay faithful and committed to you.

scarlet55

kelpie35 wrote: »

How can the OP justify any love from her partner when she has been treated in this manner.

OP if you have any self respect you will walk away with your head held high.

I know it will not be easy but you owe it to yourself.

Once a cheat always a cheat in my eyes, and I wouldn't give anyone a second chance if that is how they behave.

I agree, and she already gave him a second chance and still he's done it again!

scarlet55

gabriel1980 wrote: »

Personally I don't think doing stuff online is cheating. He may have been just looking for some female attention, that he left he was lacking, low self-esteem etc. Could have been the same the first time, but I agree meeting up is definitely going too far and that is definitely cheating. Although on the other hand it depends what they did.


How did you find out about it the first and second time?

Of course it's cheating - why would you sign up to dating sites when you're in a relationship with someone else? plus chatting to other women by text and skype?
Whether anything happened or not (which it did apparently) the intent was there.
He went behind the OPs back, twice, to get his rocks off with other women.
She should kick him into touch!

Bluebell68

((((((((((((((((((((( BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))0
xxx

j.e.j.

I can't think why someone who is happy and in a relationship would register on dating sites or participate in sex-related stuff with other women.

Lots of people watch !!!!!! on the net, but watching/paying cam-wh0res and joining dating sites would be a step too far, in my opinion.
Several steps, in fact!!

Laurensalive

It can be a really stressful time dealing with this. Been through it. The its your fault for everything from the ex, to the silent treatment, to acting like a child. I knew deep down he was cheating, but decided to ignore it until I decided what I wanted to do. Meaning a plan for my own preservation, and forward planning. At the time he started to cheat I had an ovary removed. Do not give up, you will get through it. I did go for an HIV test and it was CLEAR. Oh I found condoms in his work jacket. Threw this back at him during the divorce. It was my way of saying I knew it was his doing.

Beckyy

I don't think I would be able to have a healthy relationship after this and would be leaving/asking him to leave.

Sending a big hug, stay strong OP.

Laurensalive

I would check his credit card and bank statements for any unusual spending before confronting him. If he has not been cheating then nothing extra on the statement.

Kynthia

I learnt in the past that you are desperate to know the reason why but often the person doesn't really know why themselves. If you keep pushing for a reason they may try to give you one but it will be guess work and possibly very wrong and this can hurt more. Try to accept you won't know why and have some space. Surround yourself with friends to have support and keep you strong.