cheating?

PeacefulWaters

Okay here's my take it.

1) Watch him like a hawk from now on. Know his movements.
2) Ask him to reassure you of his movements. Real life and online/mobile.
3) Start talking with him more. Daily. Raise the issue of sex with him.
4) Get couple counselling ASAP.

Oh, and a very clear rule that any site of this sort is unacceptable.

For what it's worth I think he's frustrated with the lack of sex and doesn't know how to talk about it without feeling that he's being made to beg for it. If he's not opening up when you talk, ask him the lack of sex question straight.

It's very likely that he's gone no further than registering with these sites. Points (1) and (2) above should confirm if this is accurate going forwards.

If he has strayed then you have a big call to make. But it doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship.

Google "important emotional needs" and get to understand which ones are very important to each of you. Then make every effort to meet his and ask for the same in return.

dacouch

Watching poems is boring

DUTR

PeacefulWaters wrote: »

Okay here's my take it.

1) Watch him like a hawk from now on. Know his movements.
2) Ask him to reassure you of his movements. Real life and online/mobile.
3) Start talking with him more. Daily. Raise the issue of sex with him.
4) Get couple counselling ASAP.

For what it's worth I think he's frustrated with the lack of sex and doesn't know how to talk about it without feeling that he's being made to beg for it. If he's not opening up when you talk, ask him the lack of sex question straight.

It's very likely that he's gone no further than registering with these sites. Points (1) and (2) above should confirm if this is accurate going forwards.

If he has strayed then you have a big call to make. But it doesn't have to mean the end of a relationship.

Google "important emotional needs" and get to understand which ones are very important to each of you. Then make every effort to meet his and ask for the same in return.

Points 1+2 are a reason for anyone to run a mile irrespective of gender!
Point 3 maybe too late to discuss that now, the OP don't want to be doing it just to keep a relationship and the partner may not enjoy the fake intimacy.
As for the registration with the sites, if a person can't meet someone walking down the street, they are less likely to meet someone for dogging/swinging and the like.

BitterAndTwisted

The usual routine when people have their nasty secrets uncovered is to lie to your face, even when you have incontrovertible evidence. Then, admit the absolute, bare minimum. "Chatting?" Yes, and we can all imagine what about, and very likely sending pics of his member to a receptive audience. And then to minimise, minimise, minimise while they desperately cover their filthy tracks.

No-one, NO-ONE goes on hook-up sites to chat, unless it's to talk filth at a safe distance

Dump his scratty @rse before he gives you an STD

System

You dont have to go on a hook up site to chat to people.

DUTR

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

The usual routine when people have their nasty secrets uncovered is to lie to your face, even when you have incontrovertible evidence. Then, admit the absolute, bare minimum. "Chatting?" Yes, and we can all imagine what about, and very likely sending pics of his member to a receptive audience. And then to minimise, minimise, minimise while they desperately cover their filthy tracks.

No-one, NO-ONE goes on hook-up sites to chat, unless it's to talk filth at a safe distance

Dump his scratty @rse before he gives you an STD

Hows he going to manage that? They are not touching each other.

pogofish

Pixie5740 wrote: »

I don't know about that. My friends and I who use dating sites find some men just want to keep messaging you.

Hookup sites however are not dating sites!

mandragora_2

Dazedandconfused1 wrote: »

Do I have to have sex with my boyfriend at least once a week?

No, of course you don't. If sex once a week feels like a chore, and you've only been together three years then I'd wonder if he was the right bloke for you.

After 33 years, maybe, but three???? Hell, no. Get a bloke that sex doesn't feel like a chore with, and a relationship where you both want to initiate a bit of action with each other.

Pixie5740

pogofish wrote: »

Hookup sites however are not dating sites!

Why are you shouting at me? The OP didn't specify what kind of dating/swinger/hook up sites until after my post.

System

My ex who was on similar hook up sites, told me it was because he wanted people to talk to and cos he liked the attention.

He was lying. He was meeting up with people. Which i only found out when one woman approached me and told me she;d been on a date with my "bf" :mad: told me the site he'd met her on and low and behold after some snooping found his profile that declared him "single" and looking for fun :mad: and he still denied it after being confronted with the evidence!