Should I buy food at a friend's party?

duchy

Another made up scenario <sigh>

I think we could do without these and have those who spend hours concocting them spend the time dealing with the every increasing spam on the forum instead.

Goldiegirl wrote: »

Why don't you ask the money saver to register and post their question on the forum directly.

Then, you and the MSE team can concentrate on ridding the forum of spam.

maiasopohie

if you click "View Past MMD's" it quite clearly states these are hypothetical dilemmas for a bit of fun!

Didn't used to be that way as I posted one on here 3yrs ago (Should pal pay for 13yr old's damaged iPhone?)
So maybe real folk don't post anymore or they've just changed the format.

Wooley

We sometimes get together for a video night at mine, I have a 3d TV.

We used to spend a lot on takeaways but now I get supermarket deals and we all chip in, usually between £3.50 - £5.00, food, drink, dessert.
I don't need to spend time cooking (unless we fancy a special dessert) and we all have an enjoyable evening.

Before we often spent £15 each, so this works for us.

Hermia

haras_nosirrah wrote: »

we host an annual bbq for our friends and family (will be this sunday so praying for nice weather) and we do a bring a dish as this year we have 40 adults and 10 kids so is really just to share the cost.

generally people spend about £5 on their item and I divvy up the bits e.g.
laura - something chicken related
louise - pasta and potato salad
meghan - bread rolls etc

that way we don't get duplicates. My husband and I buy a bit of everything to start off and as people turn up they add in their item so we end up with lots of different foods. This year we have spent over£100 including alcohol, meat etc so we pay for the vast majority of it.

When doing the invites I put the tag line - bring your partner, bring your kids, bring a dish, bring your appetite and have never had any complaints (this is the 4th year). We do make it into quite an event and have a bouncy castle this year for the littlies.

slightly worried now that they are all a bit secretly cheesed off with bringing something or is what we have done socially acceptable as they were told upfront?

I don't think there is anything wrong with having 'bring a dish' events nor do I think there is anything wrong with everyone chipping in and getting a takeaway. I would object to the situation in the first post because you are not even getting a choice of what to eat! I imagine at every dinner party there are some people who aren't overly keen on the host's menu, but eat it to be polite.

Pollycat

BoJangles wrote: »

I think people are going a bit overboard here. This is not uncommon in other countries and if somebody wants to host a quality dinner party (not bbq ie sausage and barm) then I think it is a good idea. Nobody feels obliged to return any favours.

I don't think people are going 'a bit overboard' at all.
It doesn't matter what is common in other countries.
I think you've missed the point.
It would have been different if the host had said up front that he is hosting a party and will charge £7 each.
But he didn't.
From the OP, it's clear that he invited people then later said he was going to charge £7.

MSE_Nick wrote: »

A friend of mine is having a party, and he said he was going to provide some food for everyone. He's recently announced he'll be making his 'signature dish', but will be charging £7 a pop for the privilege. I feel it's a bit steep if he's not doing it for profit, should I pay?

And how do you know it's going to be a 'quality' dinner party?
If the OP had said the host was a Michelin starred chef, then it would almost certainly be a quality dinner party.

MSE Nick has sadly missed out some pretty important information from his 'dilemma'.

GlasweJen

Signature dish? What size is this persons ego?

If you're close to them id take them aside and tell them that it's nice they've invited people over but usually at a dinner party the host pays for food and the way he's went about this make him sound a touch pretentious. Then I'd suggest that he either changes his meal plan to something he can afford to cover in full or invite people over to have take away funded by themselves as not everyone will want to pay to eat whatever his signature dish is.

If I wasn't close I'd find something else to be doing that evening and apologise for not remembering sooner.

Pollycat

MSE_Nick wrote: »

This week's MoneySaver who wants advice asks...

A friend of mine is having a party, and he said he was going to provide some food for everyone. He's recently announced he'll be making his 'signature dish', but will be charging £7 a pop for the privilege. I feel it's a bit steep if he's not doing it for profit, should I pay?

Has 'this week's MoneySaver who wants advice' asked his other friends what they think about being charged £7 for a home-cooked 'signature dish'?

BoJangles_2

Pollycat wrote: »

I don't think people are going 'a bit overboard' at all.
It doesn't matter what is common in other countries.
I think you've missed the point.
It would have been different if the host had said up front that he is hosting a party and will charge £7 each.
But he didn't.
From the OP, it's clear that he invited people then later said he was going to charge £7.

And how do you know it's going to be a 'quality' dinner party?
If the OP had said the host was a Michelin starred chef, then it would almost certainly be a quality dinner party.

MSE Nick has sadly missed out some pretty important information from his 'dilemma'.

I didn't miss the point at all. I agree it would be wrong to send out invites and omit that there would be a charge. Who on this planet wouldn't see the issue with that?

It is common practise in other countries and I don't see why you would dismiss this fact completely. Maybe the person comes from one of these countries and therefore made the assumption his guests would be half expecting the bill to be split?

It is only a made up dilemma afterall......

Pollycat

BoJangles wrote: »

I didn't miss the point at all. I agree it would be wrong to send out invites and omit that there would be a charge. Who on this planet wouldn't see the issue with that?

So people aren't going overboard at all then?
Because that's the 'dilemma' as described in the first post.

BoJangles wrote: »

It is common practise in other countries and I don't see why you would dismiss this fact completely. Maybe the person comes from one of these countries and therefore made the assumption his guests would be half expecting the bill to be split?

The host is his friend.
Why would somebody assume that - on the very unlikely chance he comes from one of these countries of which you speak - he can invite friends and charge them?
Which countries observe this custom of inviting people to dinner and asking for a contribution?

BoJangles wrote: »

It is only a made up dilemma afterall......

As I said:

Pollycat wrote: »

MSE Nick has sadly missed out some pretty important information from his 'dilemma'.

I appreciate it is made up, that fact has been discussed throughout the thread.
And that's why I typed 'dilemma' in quotes.

BoJangles_2

Pollycat wrote: »

So people aren't going overboard at all then?
Because that's the 'dilemma' as described in the first post.

The host is his friend.
Why would somebody assume that - on the very unlikely chance he comes from one of these countries of which you speak - he can invite friends and charge them?
Which countries observe this custom of inviting people to dinner and asking for a contribution?

As I said:

I appreciate it is made up, that fact has been discussed throughout the thread.
And that's why I typed 'dilemma' in quotes.

Sweden is one, and they split the bill between all guests, it isn't just a contribution.

Like I said in my first post, people are going overboard in their assumptions that the 'signature dish' would be either lasagne or a bog standard bbq. Not for any other reason. Yes it is reasonable to be annoyed that the original invite didn't mention any expected contribution but that is all. It really depends on what the signature dish is and we don't know.

I personally wouldn't mind this sort of thing as I wouldn't feel obliged to return the favour, if it was my friend I would certainly know whether they could cook and have an inkling of the type of food to expect.