Lie-Detector?

swingaloo

mcscoobs wrote: »

I haven't blamed anyone, i've taken responsibility for my own actions, I've been incredibly stupid and paying the consequences. I've made a mistake and I want to make up for it. I'm making arrangements to go and see her parents, her sister and best friend individually to apologise for my actions and to prove it was a huge mistake, and that i'm going to win her back. I'm hoping I can regain her trust and I know it will take time to do.

After cheating and being found out on 3 separate occasions whilst you were still with your ex wife I hope she sees right through you.


History repeating itself!

Babbawah

FBaby wrote: »

I don't agree with this. Trust is something you earn and it can take time. I didn't start my relationship trusting my OH as a matter of fact I was what some would have said paranoid but through having doubts and him showing me that I was wrong to mistrust him I gradually started to believe he could be trusted. I now trust him a 100% and if his ex came over I wouldn't be one bit fussed but then I know he would tell me. OP and his girlfriend have a long way to get there but is not impossible. That is of course if they care enough to be bothered to make the effort which I don't get from the posts to be the case.

No.

You are wrong.

Trust is the fundamental basis for ALL relationships.

Please don't confuse what trust really means with your own insecurities.

KRB2725

I think you need to work out why you need your ego massaging so much.

What you did to both your ex and your current girlfriend was cruel, but for different reasons.

Somebody confesses they have feelings for you, you're not interested, but decide to make them want you anyway.

Somebody else, who you supposedly love, has insecurity issues with your ex. So you wait until they're out and then invite said ex over until the early hours.

Spend some time working out why you are treating people the way you are before you embark on another relationship.

fairy_lights

mcscoobs wrote: »

I'm making arrangements to go and see her parents, her sister and best friend individually to apologise for my actions and to prove it was a huge mistake, and that i'm going to win her back. I'm hoping I can regain her trust and I know it will take time to do.

How will talking to her friends and family help win back her trust? If anything it might make things worse, it's not their business and maybe she doesn't want them knowing all about your personal problems?

heuchera

fairy_lights wrote: »

Wow. You sound like prime Jeremy Kyle material.

It certainly does sound like something on Jeremy Kyle :rotfl:

Save your money OP, lie detector tests are not reliable anyway
https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-human-beast/201303/do-lie-detectors-work

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Perhaps she doesn't trust you not to play games with her now?

It's a horrid thing to do to anybody who loves you; whether you love them or not, there's absolutely no morality in toying around with another person's feelings - and maybe she's wondering whether you're doing the same or will do the same to her in the future.

After all, she was right to be 'paranoid'. You spent half the night with a woman who still loves you as soon as she was away. And let that woman think there might be hope for a reconciliation.


If you have such low self esteem that you need to play games and hurt people to feel special, I'd suggest you seek a psychologist's input. And if you have such a high regard for yourself that you enjoy that level of emotional pain in people you presumably care about, that psych will still come in handy.


Let them both move on and meet people who don't play games with their feelings or mistake insecurity (entirely justifiable with a person who thought nothing of lying and toying with somebody's emotions in her life) as unreasonable suspicion and mistrust.

Maybe then you'll be able to learn from this and be a better person if you meet somebody else.

Fireflyaway

I would call it a day with your girlfriend because she clearly doesn't trust you ( neither would most woman !) and even if you do a test she will probably still not believe you or only be satisfied until the next time she has cause for doubt. That's no way to live.

mcscoobs

fairy_lights wrote: »

How will talking to her friends and family help win back her trust? If anything it might make things worse, it's not their business and maybe she doesn't want them knowing all about your personal problems?

She's asked me to do that... her friends and family are important to her.... she said if i'm happy to do this, she'll believe i'm serious bout trying to win her back. I'm more than happy to do this.

KRB2725

mcscoobs wrote: »

She's asked me to do that... her friends and family are important to her.... she said if i'm happy to do this, she'll believe i'm serious bout trying to win her back. I'm more than happy to do this.

It won't help. They all presumably love her, so they'll just tell her to dump you once they hear what's gone on.

meritaten

anyone who asked me to take a lie detector test and pay for it myself (talk about rubbing salt in to the wound), would immediately become an 'ex'. Trust has gone now and the relationship will never ever be the same.
BTW - lie detector tests can easily be 'passed' by certain people.