Lie-Detector?

mcscoobs

In need of some urgent advice!

I've been with my partner for 7 months, we live together (or did!). Anyway my ex (the mother of my child) was texting me telling me she needed to talk to me and it was urgent. She was quite persistent. So after a while, I allowed her to come round 1 night knowing my current gf was out. My gf is paranoid about my ex as we are still married (on paper) but been seperated for a year. My ex came round and told me she still had feelings for me. I've already moved on. She ended up staying until the early hours of the morning talking.

However, stupidly,the next week or two after, her saying she had feelings triggered a switch. As much as I didn't want her one bit, I wanted to play a bit of a game and see if I could get her to want me (if that makes sense?) And yes, I'm aware now of how stupid an idea it was.

My ex then called my gf and told her she came over and that we slept together, to try split us up. My gf believes her and not me as she was already paranoid. I've got proof I haven't slept with her, and my ex is very vague about the specifics of the sex that we apparantly had.

My ex has moved out back to her parents and quit her job. She said she no longer trusts me... whether I slept with her or not, I lied to her about talking to my ex (which I said I hadn't done due to her paranoia). She wants me to take a lie-detector test at a cost of approx. £500. I don't want to do it. I know i'd pass it, but then what? She will accuse the machine of being wrong, everytime we argue, is she going to demand I take another test? How do I say no to the test without it looking like i'm guilty? I do love her, I do want her back... she said that if i'm willing to do whatever it takes, I have no reason not to do this test.....

fairy_lights

Wow. You sound like prime Jeremy Kyle material.
You love your girlfriend but lie to her about spending all night talking with your ex, and then play weird mind games to make your ex want to get back with you? You don't deserve either of them.

PuzzledDave

I'm sorry to say that you have lost her trust, you could have $deity stand there with all their holy minions singing in chorus that you are true - she won't believe you. If things fall over so quickly at the first sign of trouble - are you sure this person is right for you ? Will stand by you through thick and thin and support you when you run into trouble ?

On a side note, lie-detector tests are rubbish and not accepted by court for good reasons. What usually happens is that the operator asks questions whilst making themselves sound important and knowing - then at the end say something like:

"You were very borderline on <subject>, perhaps you would like to clarify". Here people usually spontaneously confess to some degree or another. Operator then reports back usually painting confession in worst possible light to ensure they have 'earned' their fee.

mcscoobs

Thanks - don't get me wrong, I massively screwed up by lying to my gf in the first place, and i've admitted to that... just wish I could turn back time and not have been so stupid and naive. My ex didn't like the fact I was happy and moved on, and did everything in her power to split us up. unfortunately it's worked....

Even if I took the lie-detector test and it backed up what I was saying, she will probably just say the machine was faulty and still not believe it. And then the next time we argue, then what? Ask for more tests?

I just don't know how to say no to the test to her, without it looking like i'm guilty when i'm not....

milliemonster

I'm not surprised she doesn't believe you, in your opening post you said that you had moved on from your ex, yet once you found out she was still interested in you, you decided to play a game to see how far you could make her want you?, why would you do that if you were in a committed relationship with your current partner? if you were truly over your ex, that thought would have never even entered your head.

rebeccatom

You are guilty of messing them both around. Maybe you will learn a lesson for next time.

Now you have to decide do you do the test and hope that puts an end to it and try and make it up to her going forward. Or choose not to take the test and possible split up with your GF.

mcscoobs

No-one realises how stupid i've been more than me, i've lost everything and paying the consequences of my stupidity.

I want to make it all up to her, mend those broken bridges, but without taking that test.... plus its £500, which i'd rather spend on the divorce!

lovinituk

How on earth are you going to afford £500 out of your pocket money? Might need to take on an extra paper round or two by the sounds of it! Maybe you could sell some comics in the playground.

DKLS

Move on buddy, your mind games have backfired, get yourself on Tinder and don't play silly games in future.

amistupid

mcscoobs wrote: »

I've got proof I haven't slept with her

Guest101

mcscoobs wrote: »

In need of some urgent advice!

I've been with my partner for 7 months, we live together (or did!). Anyway my ex (the mother of my child) was texting me telling me she needed to talk to me and it was urgent. She was quite persistent. So after a while, I allowed her to come round 1 night knowing my current gf was out. My gf is paranoid about my ex as we are still married (on paper) but been seperated for a year. My ex came round and told me she still had feelings for me. I've already moved on. She ended up staying until the early hours of the morning talking.

However, stupidly,the next week or two after, her saying she had feelings triggered a switch. As much as I didn't want her one bit, I wanted to play a bit of a game and see if I could get her to want me (if that makes sense?) And yes, I'm aware now of how stupid an idea it was.

My ex then called my gf and told her she came over and that we slept together, to try split us up. My gf believes her and not me as she was already paranoid. I've got proof I haven't slept with her, and my ex is very vague about the specifics of the sex that we apparantly had.

My ex has moved out back to her parents and quit her job. She said she no longer trusts me... whether I slept with her or not, I lied to her about talking to my ex (which I said I hadn't done due to her paranoia). She wants me to take a lie-detector test at a cost of approx. £500. I don't want to do it. I know i'd pass it, but then what? She will accuse the machine of being wrong, everytime we argue, is she going to demand I take another test? How do I say no to the test without it looking like i'm guilty? I do love her, I do want her back... she said that if i'm willing to do whatever it takes, I have no reason not to do this test.....

In case this isnt a wind up.

Clearly you cant be with crazy current wife on paper

Clearly you cant be with paranoid ex

The solution is you break it off with both of them.