Children addressing adults

busiscoming2

Marisco wrote: »

I hate formality, when anyone calls me Ms or Mrs *surname*, I say to them call me *first name*.All my kids' friends have always called me by first name.

Me too. But I do get annoyed when sales people or the like use my Christian name without asking. That's rude.

Georgiegirl256

busiscoming2 wrote: »

Me too. But I do get annoyed when sales people or the like use my Christian name without asking. That's rude.

In a similar vein, I used to hate it when customers would call me by my Christian name. It made me feel uncomfortable. They didn't know me, I was merely serving them, no need to get overfamiliar.

Re the OP. A lot of kids round here use mate, and a lot of the lasses teens/early twenties call everyone sweetheart! It's a term usually used by older folk, so it's amusing and somewhat strange when they say it to people decades older than them!

onlyroz

I have never known any child refer to an adult as "mate". I was quite shocked when my daughter's friend addressed me by my first name though. I would always have called an adult "Mr X" or similar.

Newly_retired

It is a pity we don't have, in this country, a standard form of address to use, especially when you don't know someone's name, or if you have heard their Christian name but don't feel you know them well enough to use it.

It is inevitable that children will copy adults, and use whatever is customary in the area eg love, pet, mi duck, or, in this case, mate.
I don't like it, but am not sure what else to tell them to use, if we don't know the surname.
As a retired teacher, I was used to being called Mrs X. Better than Miss, though for a man, Sir is much nicer. But outside of schools, Sir is too formal, except for salesmen/women.

onlyroz

Newly_retired wrote: »

It is a pity we don't have, in this country, a standard form of address to use, especially when you don't know someone's name, or if you have heard their Christian name but don't feel you know them well enough to use it.

It is inevitable that children will copy adults, and use whatever is customary in the area eg love, pet, mi duck, or, in this case, mate.
I don't like it, but am not sure what else to tell them to use, if we don't know the surname.
As a retired teacher, I was used to being called Mrs X. Better than Miss, though for a man, Sir is much nicer. But outside of schools, Sir is too formal, except for salesmen/women.

For a woman wouldn't it be Madam or Lady?

cte1111

My children call everyone by their first name, apart from their teachers (although the one that is both a teacher and parent of a friend is Mr X in school and first name outside). Some of the teaching assistants are called Miss first name, which seems like a nice compromise. Even the vicar is addressed by her first name, but definitely not as love!

When growing up, lots of our friends would call adult neighbours as Auntie / Uncle, but my Mum didn't like this, so we only called our actual Aunts and Uncles by the title. We still say Auntie X and Uncle Y though for these relatives, which friends now think is hilarious. Ah well at least we're consistently out of step.

cte1111

And the children's friends tend to address me as "Fred's Mum", which is funny really. Some of my daughter's friends have made the effort to learn my first name and will use it, but I think most of them avoid any name to save difficulties. I think of some of the other parents as Ted's Mum rather than Melanie, so I'm just as bad.

Purplesky_2

onlyroz wrote: »

For a woman wouldn't it be Madam or Lady?

Madam has a (ahem) different meaning :embarassethan it did in Victorian Times, and Lady is either a dignitary (Lady Bowerson-Wrigglesworth or some such nonsense) or more like a taunt/catcall (Hey, pretty lady.....!). :rotfl::rotfl:
I mean, of the two I prefer Lady (as in, 'Why don't you sit on my knee, so this nice lady can sit down?').:)

missbiggles1

rach_k wrote: »

I think people confuse 'being respectful' with using particular words or phrases, but I disagree with that.

Calling somebody Sir or Madam doesn't mean you respect them, neither does an automatic 'Thank you Mr Smith'. Saying 'Thanks/cheers/excuse me mate' seems more genuine/heartfelt to me (they probably weren't taught that in school!), and that's a big part of being respectful - actually feeling respect, not just following rules blindly. I'd be happy with a 'Cheers mate' any day. That doesn't mean I don't think you can be genuine with the standard polite phrases and those are what I'd tend to use, but I don't expect or want everybody to do the same.

If my kids' friends called me Mrs [Surname] I'd find it strange and would ask them to call me Rachel. Mine are quite young so normally parents are addressed as 'Ellie's mum/dad', which they mean respectfully so I think it's sweet. After all, they may not know if you're married and what surname you use.

If you asked them to call you by their first name that's fine, just as it would be for another adult.

missbiggles1

JIL wrote: »

Its a bit daft really, lots of us will have to wear name badges for our work, they usually have just our first names on them. I am thinking, shop assistants, receptionists,
So we then moan ( well some of us) when children address us by our first names.
How are children supposed to know which adults to address by their first names and which by their Mrs Smith title.

Name badges only have first names on them for security reasons though.