Children addressing adults

pickledonionspaceraider

David301 wrote: »

Surely you extend a certain amount of respect as a courtesy though? you cant just go around being ignorant towards others until they prove themselves.

Of course, always courteous, I really dislike rudeness

I think it's a matter of opinion, I wouldn't find it rude to be addressed as 'mate' by a child - it is a leveller, why can't an adult be an equal with a child?

In respects of this thread, a child and an adult, it's an age related thing- to assume preferential treatment because one is older

In terms of respect I would be more likely to give it immediately based on someone's personality - not purely based on an age gap between me and them.

That is not to say I disrespect or show rudeness, just that I don't automatically assume that just because someone is older, that they are superior in some way and deserve preferential treatment than I would automatically give someone of my own age range. For example I would give up a bus seat for an elderly person, but I would do that for a pregnant lady of my own age also

We all think differently though, and am not saying others are wrong, just a different opinion

lelasuzi

My chimney sweep comes every August. I call him Mr Hattersley. Every year he says call me John love. I say I cant Mr Hattersley. He`s 78. When I was growing up all my friends parents were auntie and uncle.

busiscoming2

I have never been called 'mate' by a child. As a child I too called my parents friends 'Aunt' or 'Uncle' and hated it, as it sounded so false to me.
So much so, I asked that my nieces and nephews call me by my first name only and since being an adult I call my real aunts and uncles by their first names only.

Lunar_Eclipse

Never heard 'mate' being used in this way, but know it's a common way of boys referring to each other "cheers mate" etc.

I have two teenagers; they call adults by their Christian names (as I always did growing up & I'm a fair bit older than OP!) My parents didn't even use Sir/Madam and they're both retired; that seems very old fashioned.

Savvy_Sue

Pricivius wrote: »

My nephews live in the U.S. and generally address adults as Sir or Ma'am (pronounced mam). Even their parents if they are answering a direct question. Adult neighbours and friends are referred to as Miss or Mr "first name" upon introduction and until they are invited to drop the title. It's refreshing to hear and deemed good manners in Virginia.

You know, I hear that in films, when children say "Yes sir" to their father, and I just cringe inside. It sounds so distant and Victorian to me.

pickledonionspaceraider

Savvy_Sue wrote: »

You know, I hear that in films, when children say "Yes sir" to their father, and I just cringe inside. It sounds so distant and Victorian to me.

Like the kids in Mary Poppins addressing Mr Banks lol

Loz01

I call lots of people mate! Ive always associated it with a southern/cockney accent/lingo tho as my family are from London and say it quite a lot more than me "AWIGHT MATE!" style. When I was on the train and someone dropped something I said "scuse me mate, you just dropped your headphones" as an opening to a convo.

marisco_2

This is a great question and one that I’ve also wrestled with. Unfortunately I think there might not be one perfect standard, but something that has to be determined on a case-by-case basis. When in doubt, it never hurts to be over-polite. I guess we can take cues from how people introduce themselves and sign emails, etc.

rach_k

I think people confuse 'being respectful' with using particular words or phrases, but I disagree with that.

Calling somebody Sir or Madam doesn't mean you respect them, neither does an automatic 'Thank you Mr Smith'. Saying 'Thanks/cheers/excuse me mate' seems more genuine/heartfelt to me (they probably weren't taught that in school!), and that's a big part of being respectful - actually feeling respect, not just following rules blindly. I'd be happy with a 'Cheers mate' any day. That doesn't mean I don't think you can be genuine with the standard polite phrases and those are what I'd tend to use, but I don't expect or want everybody to do the same.

If my kids' friends called me Mrs [Surname] I'd find it strange and would ask them to call me Rachel. Mine are quite young so normally parents are addressed as 'Ellie's mum/dad', which they mean respectfully so I think it's sweet. After all, they may not know if you're married and what surname you use.

Marisco

I hate formality, when anyone calls me Ms or Mrs *surname*, I say to them call me *first name*.All my kids' friends have always called me by first name.