Children addressing adults

David301

In my line of work I come into contact with a fair amount of children. I have noticed a growing trend over the passed few years of conversations with phrases such as "excuse me mate", "alright mate", "thanks mate" and "cheers mate".

You get the idea, the general use of the word "mate".

Im 30, and when I was a child I was taught that an adult was addressed as Mr/Mrs surname or if it was a school teacher they sometimes insisted on being called Sir or Ms.

Once permission was given or maybe if it was a family friend / friends mum and dad you were able to speak to them using their first name.

I wouldnt say I had a strict upbringing but these were the general rules of etiquette between all of my friends at the time.

I think if my mother ever heard me speak to an adult with the word "mate" I would have been on the fast track to getting a clip around the ear!!

Also swearing in front of adults seems to be a growing thing, As a young-ling we would swear but never in ear shot of an adult because that would be one way to lose our civil liberties!

Is it just me and the children here or is it countrywide?
Do any parents here teach there children these things?

:hello:

silvercar

When I was a child I was taught to call my parents friends auntie / uncle followed by their first name.

My children call my friends by their first name.

kingfisherblue

My children don't call people 'mate' - they call them Mr or Miss X, unless invited to call them by their first name. My daughter, now an adult, still finds it difficult to call a Guiding colleague by her first name, as the lady concerned taught at her school.

As a Brown Owl, even parents call me that in some cases, although they know my first name. Children call me Brown Owl or Miss. I've never been called 'mate' or anything similar.

Living in the North West, a lot of the time people add the word 'love' to their sentences - although less frequently than when I was a child ('Have you got the time, love?). My son, who has learning difficulties, started to call people 'love' last year. I explained to him that some people don't like it, so he wasn't to use it. He has the occasional blip, but generally doesn't say it now. He loves calling men 'Sir' and shaking their hands though!

I can't say that I've ever had many people call me 'mate', or heard children use it much at all.

Violetta_2

Alright mate would be polite for some of the kid's round our way. Some of the stuff I overhear coming out of their mouths would make a sailor blush & that includes the wee one's.

David301

Im north west as well and young teenage girls will say "cheers love" and i just think why are you calling my love? im old enough to be your dad.

If an older person calls me love i find that much more tolerable, but i think it is almost in the way it is said, kind of feels like it is with more respect from an older person to a younger person.

clarryd

I am a 47 year old woman and have a grown up family but I still call an elderly neighbour by her title Mrs......., she always says you know my name but I have never called her by her Christian name always by her titled name. I think by calling her by her Christian name that would show lack of respect to her on my part.

I was always told growing up that you have to respect your elders and I have followed that with my daughter. People always tell me how polite she is.

trolleyrun

Part of my job includes greeting both adults and children. The amount of kids who don't reply when you say hello to them directly is astonishing - although not as shocking as the adults who don't bother saying hello back.

Guest101

First names seems fine the modern age. Mate is far too much.

I would correct them.

But age dependent, a 16 year old would be more lax with than a 6 year old.

Goldiegirl

silvercar wrote: »

When I was a child I was taught to call my parents friends auntie / uncle followed by their first name.

My children call my friends by their first name.

Same here, and I have to say I found it quite confusing.

I understood that my mums brothers and sisters were my aunts and uncles..... But I thought it very odd that people who were friends, and not related were also aunts and uncles.

My friends children have always called me by my first name, right from their earliest years.

I have to say, I've never been called 'mate' by a child.

bluenoseam

I have to speak to "unknown" adults on a daily basis at work & regularly use a variety of generic salutations ranging from mate to squire, generally the more experienced customers I'll say sir. (And even that I find to be a little condescending)

As far as personally goes as a child I was always taught that any situation when dealing with adults was to be similar to a school setting, so unless they were well known to me it was Mr/Mrs or Sir/Ms. If I knew the adult in question well enough that I knew their first name (generally because the adult had said "oh it's...." or similar) then it was acceptable to use their first name. I did however generally tend to reserve the right to use Mr/Mrs for certain people who held a little higher "ranking".

As an adult personally I don't mind if a youngster addresses me either as mate or by my first name - much as I hate children I hate more the rediculous notion that your age defines your status. I have met more than enough idiot adults in my time to know that until it's definitively proven you're at the same level as I am so you shouldn't expect any favours. That includes on my own part & if I'm being honest I'm a somewhat laid back 30 year old who's quite alright with avoiding being a Mr just yet because that would denote that I'm a little fusty & stiff!

The only exceptions are to friends parents, for some weird reason amongst my group of friends the norm has almost always been to address their Mum by "oh hey Mark's mum" yet their Dad by their given name. Possibly because most of my mate's Dads were all teenagers in adults bodies & is likely where I got my attitude from.

Pricivius

Mate does seem odd to me, but then I find love troublesome too!

My nephews live in the U.S. and generally address adults as Sir or Ma'am (pronounced mam). Even their parents if they are answering a direct question. Adult neighbours and friends are referred to as Miss or Mr "first name" upon introduction and until they are invited to drop the title. It's refreshing to hear and deemed good manners in Virginia.