Things your 5-year-old says!

Faith177

My cousin looked after her friends baby while waiting for her 2nd to arrive her son loved the baby and liked to say goodbye when her mum came to pick her up

When my cousin had her little girl on the first day she was at home her little boy asked "so what time is it leaving with it's mummy?" So my cousin explained that no it was staying as it was his sister his response "well as long as she doesn't touch my iggle piggle I guess she can stay"

pattycake

I was recently trying to persuade my 4 year old grand daughter into her coat and shoes ready to go out. She carried on playing so I said if she didn't get ready she would have to stay behind with Grandpa. She leapt to her feet and said "I'm not staying with him. He's weird"!

ronmiel

Years ago, I was stood with my son aged about seven, among several other people looking in a toy shop window. Suddenly, in a very loud voice he said, "Mummy, what's sex?" Everybody went quiet. I said, "Why do you ask that," and he said "well on the bag there it says, name, age, sex." He was looking at a label on a school bag. I was very pleased to be able to tell him it was to say whether he was a boy or a girl. A man next to me said, well, you got out of that one didn't you!!!

room512

I'm a teacher and one year I was working in Nursery. I told the children I was going on a course so wouldn't be in the next day. When I went back to work lots of the parents were asking me if I'd enjoyed the horse riding. The penny dropped - I'd said course and the children had heard horse!

meritaten

many years ago my youngest son had a favourite toy car, and it went missing one day - we searched everywhere to no avail. I was upstairs still looking for the dratted thing and could hear DS talking, was a bit puzzled as nobody else was in, but thought no more of it.
came downstairs and the phone rang. A very amused telephone operator then told me about the conversation she had just had with my son!
he had only phoned 999 asked for the police and said his car had been nicked! gave the operator a description of the car, his name and address, and his suspicion that his brother had taken it! she had rang back to ask me to talk to him about what constitutes a 'real' 999 emergency as she didn't have the heart to do it herself. I was mortified as we had HAD that conversation just days before when the phone was installed! it was supposed to be to ring for an ambulance when he was having a severe asthma attack (it was the days before mobiles were invented).

tizerbelle

Spinkz wrote: »

My 6 year old asked me if posh people poo :rotfl:

Keeping the theme going - on one of his first trips to the cinema, my nephew aged about 4 needed the loo.

Nana took him to the ladies but he went into the cubicle on his own. While in there, he yelled out "Nana! Does pooh have arms?".

Mum said you could hear the whiplash as all the other women in there turned to see how she would react.

amersall

When my son was 6 we went to Tesco, we were walking along the freezer aisle and he stopped, I carried on to the end of the aisle and he shouted "Mum, what's a
b a s t a r d turkey" nearly died of shame :eek: he obviously meant basted :rotfl:

meritaten

when my grandson was about four or five his mum bought him one of those guns that fire foam bullets. a few days later he came in her bedroom and woke her up to ask her 'Mam, where are my b o l l o c k s'? being half asleep she said 'love we call them testicles' and gave him a short anatomy lesson.
he listened with interest, then asked 'yes, but where are my b o l l o c k s for my gun'?

AntoMac

Shortly after I stubbed my toe and said something I shouldn't my 5 y/o asked me
'Daddy - What does 'pock' mean? '

Mr_Toad

My father owned his own civil engineering company and my daughter loved nothing better than being with him as often as possible.

She could never quite say Grandpa, it came out as Bompa which got shortened to Bomp.

When she was 4 we moved house and the garden need some landscaping. Dad sent round a couple of bricklayers and some terrace retaining walls were built to level the garden.

One Saturday two of his large tipper trucks turned up and dropped 80 tons of topsoil on the drive. Shortly after Mum and Dad turned up.

Dad was standing there with my daughter looking at the small mountain in silent contemplation. Mum was standing to one side talking to my wife.

Suddenly my daughter said "Well Bomp, that lot will be a b*stard to shift" :eek:

Dad never batted an eyelid he just said rather absently "Yes, I was just thinking the same thing."

Mum's face was a picture. "What did she just say!! Honestly that child spends too much time on the building site."

I don't think they even heard her as my daughter then went on "Do you think we can get the Bob Cat, a small digger, down the side of the house?"

"I don't know, go and me a tape measure" replied Dad.

By the time she was 8 she could drive a Caterpillar bulldozer and make a JCB dance. Dad said she was the best site foreman he ever had. Once the local Readymix concrete drivers realized she knew what she was doing they used to follow her instructions when tipping.

The downside was the somewhat colourful language she would occasionally use and mum never stopped giving dad a hard time about it.

School holidays were never a problem when it came to child care as she and dad were inseparable.