The 'Gone Racing' Jolly June NSD Challenge at Royal Ascot

Nargleblast

A lovely number 15 NSD for the Cauldron of Doom today!

What a shame we are now banned from Ascot, still, it's their loss, they will not have the pleasure of our elegant company spending money on betting. I think they are a bit harsh, it wasn't Hubert's fault he got an upset stomach, it was all those egg sandwiches packed up by Mrs Doyle. Egg sandwiches made from dodgy eggs supplied by Bert Scroggins. Wouldn't have happened if all the Ennessdee Towers chickens were still here. And they only left home because they were expected to churn out hundreds of eggs for the cakes for Igor's wedding. Due to Igor and Tatty inviting hundreds of relatives and their relatives' next door neighbours' best friends and dogs.

So......
Igor! It's all your fault we've been banned from Ascot!

Nargleblast

At least we are all having a lovely time here at Glastonbury, the music is fabulous, the crowd in good spirits, and even My Lovely Horse went down well. I think the crowd really liked Tatty dancing in her string vest.

Mrs Doyle, your egg sandwiches are lovely, the NSD gang have scoffed the lot! Why are you looking so worried?

You mean, those eggs were from the same batch as the dodgy ones that caused the problem at Ascot?
That's ok, Hubert has not eaten any.....but the rest of us have.....I see a little problem here, what do you get when you combine the greedy NSD gang and a mountain of dodgy egg sandwiches all in a muddy field at Glastonbury with thousands of people and a line of well-used Portaloos?

Scuse me, gotta rush.....

kerri_gt

Nargleblast wrote: »

At least we are all having a lovely time here at Glastonbury, the music is fabulous, the crowd in good spirits, and even My Lovely Horse went down well. I think the crowd really liked Tatty dancing in her string vest.

Mrs Doyle, your egg sandwiches are lovely, the NSD gang have scoffed the lot! Why are you looking so worried?

You mean, those eggs were from the same batch as the dodgy ones that caused the problem at Ascot?
That's ok, Hubert has not eaten any.....but the rest of us have.....I see a little problem here, what do you get when you combine the greedy NSD gang and a mountain of dodgy egg sandwiches all in a muddy field at Glastonbury with thousands of people and a line of well-used Portaloos?

Scuse me, gotta rush.....

Didn't you hear though, these are new eco porta potties - where the e'hem 'deposits' get treated and turned into lots of lovely manure for Worthy Farm - I believe there's now going to be a bumper crop of spuds next year, hurrah for the NSD gang and Mrs Doyle's sarnies. Boo to Bert Scroggins though, due to those dodgy sarnies I missed Kanye West...hmmm...actually, that's prob the best thing Bert has ever done

Nargleblast

Waaahhhhh! My lovely, lovely gold sequinned wellies....ruined! All because I didn't get to the ecoloo in time....on account of that Tatty creature hogging the facilities to touch up her makeup.....they don't even have mirrors in there, let alone scented soap and hand cream....whose idea was it to come to this muddy field in the first place? No good for a lady what is used to the finer things in life, I mean, they don't even have toilet roll for goodness sake, and when did you last see someone coming round with champagne and canapes?

kerri_gt

Err Nargle you do realise that gold wristband you have on allows access to the vip area, glamping teepees, posh toilets WITH toilet too, flush handles AND running water,and there's also a champagne bar too (much to igors disgust as he cant understand why anyone would rather drink that versus his vintage turnip whisky) - we got them on account of being the entorage with the headline act, aka Igor, Tatty and Hubert. Good job they were handed out BEFORE they started to sing.

Nargleblast

Ooh, let me at the champagne bar, after I have sampled the ladies' facilities first of course.....Ooh, luxury! Hot water, real soap, towels, hand cream....I cannot understand how people would want to rough it out there when all this loveliness is on offer.....


I hope Hubert, Igor and Chef managed to sneak back in the Tardis after their act without being lynched.....Tatty did a good job distracting the crowd by demonstrating her javelin skills with the microphone stands!

kerri_gt

Nargleblast wrote: »

I hope Hubert, Igor and Chef managed to sneak back in the Tardis after their act without being lynched.....Tatty did a good job distracting the crowd by demonstrating her javelin skills with the microphone stands!

Yes...I do hope no one was actually IN that tent she skewered :eek::eek:

Nargleblast

Bad news, kerri - it was Mrs Doyle's tea tent. The javelin hit a mountain of cup cakes which had taken all last night to make and ice. Mrs Doyle is not happy. Be afraid, Tatty, be very afraid.

cheexy

NSD 11/15 today.

kerri_gt

Nargleblast wrote: »

Bad news, kerri - it was Mrs Doyle's tea tent. The javelin hit a mountain of cup cakes which had taken all last night to make and ice. Mrs Doyle is not happy. Be afraid, Tatty, be very afraid.

Oh no, please tell me her best stainless steel tea urn is unscathed?