one day at a time

safehouse

Thanks TG xx
DS back to Uni tomorrow, he is so nervous, I know I wont be able to focus on anything till he gets home.
Off to the bingo in half an hour, hoping for a nice win need some new holiday clothes and coat and boots, my winter coat is looking more than shabby and my boots will be walking themselves to the bin before long, caught a glimpse of myself in shop window and first glimpse didn't realize it was me looking back ...funny how you can let yourself go when you are so consumed with everyone else problems. Anyway needed a wake up call. So going to treat myself to a few nice things this week, also need hair dye....cant remember the last time I covered my greys Lol
Bought Aldi face cream today thought I would give it a try costs almost £4 cheaper than my regular cream.
Right time to slap on some makeup wish me luck Haha

Bobarella

Well done for going into college. I'm glad that they at least have one complaint against her. That's the way a case for dismissal is made.

Sorry OH has had another bad patch. Is he still on that money losing job or is that over?

I know what you mean about being a bit shabby. But somehow I would always rather spend the money on something else for someone else.

please-let-me-be-lucky

Hope tomorrow goes ok for DS Xx

safehouse

Thanks Guys....not been a great 2 weeks for DS, he gave it a shot and tried going back in but monster of a tutor (and that is me putting it lightly) just couldn't help herself and had another go in-front of all the students in the room, she belittles him at every opportunity and now the students seem to be following her lead and are just as bad it amounts to total outright bullying. He sits on one giant table and the 8 other pupils purposefully sit together on the other table. They even all go out for lunch together and don't invite him. I have told him he is not going back in and to quit the course ( really don't want him in such a toxic environment) and am so worried this will affect his mental health again. DS wants me to ask them if he can carry out the assignments from home, he wants the degree so badly and also if he withdraws from the course he will have to pay back all of his university loan for nothing .....feel like my heart is breaking for him, he keeps asking me where he is going wrong and blames himself. I want to put in a formal complaint but not sure were to start and which would be the best route to take, my head is shot to pieces( have a feeling all these tutors will just stick together)
Whew .....need to change the subject as getting quite emotional whilst writing this (have felt sick to the stomach for days).........Any advice guys would be sooooo grateful X

Horrible job finished at a loss of around 2K, (but atleast it is done) they owe us extras but have a feeling they wont make that easy...wait and see, funny how hasn't bothered me with mind wrapped up with DS.

Big day at-least financially yesterday... paid off quite a few debts from savings........No1 Store card £100 paid in full and erased. No2 CC (A) £1200 paid in full and erased....................Wow I actually and finally withdrew what was allowed of my savings from my mortgage and paid off quite a lot of my debt........£1,300 in total. Mortgage savings now massively reduced and EF wiped out but CC interest reduced and I can soon get back up to 70k I hope.
Time for another nice cuppa tea and pull myself together

CC B £1,500/ CC S £1,700...£3,200 total …. Mortgage £100,000 /£69,140 paid £30,860 remaining

please-let-me-be-lucky

Sounds like persecution to me and I'm so angry on your behalf :mad:. Is there a Dean/Headmaster/Principal type person you can complain to? Or a board of Governors? Xx

SuzieSue

I feel very angry and sad for you and your poor son too. Please post the problem on the Marriage and Relationship board as there are lots of people who work in education there who should be able to help.

Bobarella

What a terrible situation Safehouse I am going to flag your thread up on another thread where a lot of teachers read and see what comes back. Extremely sorry lovely, I'd be besides myself too.

apple_muncher

Can your ds do the same degree elsewhere? My niece struggled with her first yrar at uni and the first my sister knew was when she happened across an empty pack of antidepressants when tidying her room after a visit home, in term 2. My niece quit her course and re-applied for a slightly different one in a different uni, which she started this academic year. and, so far, so good.

I realise that your son's situation is very different, but wanted to try to give you some hope that changing uni/course is possible and can work out well.

In a school, there is a very clear chain of command. I'm unclear of how it works in a uni, but would their website have a 'complaints procedure' section? Or could you email the chap you have already had contact with, and ask how to make a complaint?

I do hope your lovely son survives and doesn't give up on his ability to succeed and be happy in his life.

safehouse

Thankyou so much people...good to know so many good people who care xx.
Unfortunately DS has just moved course this year apple.... due to him suffering depression on his previous course and having major panic attacks, things got so bad his doctor recommended he move and change university to be closer to home. I have the letter from his GP addressed to his previous University stating all his previous mental health issues and him recommending this move personally. I feel like taking a copy to each tutor including the principal. SIL is in the teaching profession she has advised keeping a diary of everything and then making an appointment with the head. DS is not strong enough to fight another battle, I am so worried he will end up on medication or having to see a specialist (calms) again. At the moment he is not going back and is asking his boss at the charity shop he can work more hours (will keep him busy and hopefully take his mind off things). Plan is to take it one day at a time, I have to respect his wishes and not get involved, but My G*d this must be the hardest thing I have ever had to do. When your child becomes an adult and you have to take that step back (let them make their own decisions) you lose all that control in making things better for them...... Instead I am having to watch this creature get away with her cruel, nasty behavior....how can that be right?
Sorry to go on and on, feeling pretty lost and needing to vent, consumed with the whole issue................Thanks again Guys X

On the plus side have lost 5 pounds not dieting, but not the biggest eater when stressed.
Should also have another £20 for savings after food shop today, getting quite good at keeping to my budget.
Early start so better get off my backside..............

CC B £1,500/ CC S £1,700...£3,200 total …. Mortgage £100,000 /£69,140 paid £30,860 remaining.

Bobarella

Vent away Safehouse