Is he shy, or a gentleman, or just not interested?

VestanPance

catoutthebag wrote: »

I think he's finding out which one of his several dates is more challenging. Men like the chase. OP is giving this bloke no chase by doing the work for them. They quickly lose interst then because they like what they can't have or find a challenge getting.

This is complete !!!!!!!!.

They guy just sounds like a genuine decent bloke. Despite what people think not all blokes are leery monsters on the chase. If anything he's probably holding back, as he likes you and doesn't want you to think he's only after one thing.

His actions in terms of wanting to see you and letting you meet his friends clearly indicates that he does like you.

pollypenny

Welsh blokes are not known for being demonstrative or romantic. However, as you meet for a third time, why not greet him with a kiss on the cheek?

You could also link arms as you walk together. This should give him a clear signal and it's up to him then.

Ozzuk

Be more forward, if he backs off then you have an opening to ask why.

Invite him round for 'dinner/film' that's usually date speak for sexy time.

fivetide

catoutthebag wrote: »

Cinema is terrible for 1st or 2nd meet. It's at least reserved for meet number 5!

Disagree if you are going for food. Talking about the film, good or bad, is a great ice breaker.

onomatopoeia99

pollypenny wrote: »

This shoukd give him a clear signal and it's up to him then.

As a shy person who wouldn't dream of touching, intruding into the personal space or "accidentally" brushing up against a woman on a first or second date, what should be borne in mine with the above is that plenty of us cannot read these (apparently) clear signals.

To the OP, a clear, direct expression of what you want, whether verbal or physical, might be the best approach. There is no rule that says the man must initiate, we are living in 2015, not 1815!

19lottie82

Go out for a few drinks, get hammered then jump his bones!
:rotfl:
But in all seriousness why not go for a few shandies (no need to get rolling about drunk!), use some obvious body language and see how he reacts? He could be just shy and a bit of dutch courage always helps!

VestanPance

I agree with onomatopoeia99. Don't try any of that signals or body language stuff, just be open and to the point.

You'd be surprised how many guys are completely oblivious to any signals or body language stuff. In fact particularly with the "signals" I'd say more guys than not wouldn't have a clue.

firebird082

Don't overthink. After 2 dates, I (as a female) would not like physical contact. It takes me time to get use to (and then I can't get enough of it!). My OH is the same - we didn't meet online, but it was weeks before we were holding hands, and we both did the whole whole 'apologising for accidental touch' thing. Give him a chance. If you enjoy spending time with him, carry on doing that and just see where it goes. Some men can also be completely oblivious to what we as women think are bl**dy obvious signals...doesn't necessarily mean anything other than they aren't good at body language!

I think he sounds like a thoroughly nice chap with an eye to the long term, from what you've said about his comments.

missbiggles1

I've been happily married for nearly 30 years but dating never used to be as dull as some people make it sound. Has it really changed that much?

NewShadow

Thanks guys.

I am almost certainly overthinking.

I think pollypenny might have a point about upbringing - I grew up in a very 'touchy feely' family in the middle of hippy mid wales, I think his upbringing was much more traditional.

I think I'm used to a lot of non-sexual touching and affection on a daily basis from friends/ family - even co-workers. We're a touchy bunch.

It seems odd that he's talking about me liking the people most important to him, but not touching - two different speeds for me.

And to everyone that's saying 'jump his bones' :rotfl:

That's really not what I'm after at all. I've just got out of 1 LTR (about 18 months ago) and I want to find the right guy, settle down, think about a family - basically boring, safe, but affectionate.